Question for Divorcees....Wknd Dad or Summer Dad? Edit: my friend is leaving the state
- Thread starter Marc Spector
- Start date
Why can't he do both?
Seeing all these posts makes me grateful I grew up in a two parent household. Learning how to work on cars, fishing trips, there at most of my hoop tournaments. Wouldn’t have happened if my pops was a “summer dad”.
Don’t get me wrong, my parents have had rough stretches but they always worked things out for us.
Don’t get me wrong, my parents have had rough stretches but they always worked things out for us.
Real men want kids
OliviaTwist
All Star
As a child of divorced parents I guarantee you that when the child is old enough to understand how everything works, they’d want to see this effort from their father.
Yes we all know that bitter ex wives are a thing but some men literally put in zero effort to at least fight for their children but want to complain that nothing went their way. Then when the kids are adults they complain that mom “poisoned” them against him.
I talked about growing up with a single dad in AMA a couple years ago and my mom was the perfect example of hateful, using the kid to hurt the dad parent. But when she would be on bs that never stopped my dad from at least trying. He would come to the school and have lunch with me and dap up the kids in my class and everything. And people would see that he’s trying and gave him the benefit of the doubt when my mom would lie.
Just my two cents
And real men dont complain about getting taken to the cleaners over custody and child support.
Divorce is horrible, hope it works out the best for your friend.
As a child of divorced parents I guarantee you that when the child is old enough to understand how everything works, they’d want to see this effort from their father.
Yes we all know that bitter ex wives are a thing but some men literally put in zero effort to at least fight for their children but want to complain that nothing went their way. Then when the kids are adults they complain that mom “poisoned” them against him.
I talked about growing up with a single dad in AMA a couple years ago and my mom was the perfect example of hateful, using the kid to hurt the dad parent. But when she would be on bs that never stopped my dad from at least trying. He would come to the school and have lunch with me and dap up the kids in my class and everything. And people would see that he’s trying and gave him the benefit of the doubt when my mom would lie.
Just my two cents
Facts
and if you look through the thread he admitted that his friend has put hands on his wife and she has a restraining order against him if we knew that from the beginning a lot of this random discussion would not have happened LOL
OliviaTwist
All Star
I saw that after I replied lol
Me and my baby moms are cordial right now living separately. I get to see my daughter whenever I want and can have her with me for most weekends if I want. I can't imagine only seeing my daughter in the summer, that would kill me.
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SadimirPutin
Superstar
Finally got bak to this thread....busy day
he and wifey had a up and down marriage. i personally think the stress of living up here in the expensive ass, isolated west coast (with mediocre jobs), her getting laid off during covid, her giving birth to their youngest just in April last year, and all that with the stress of raising 2 kids (hes my friend and all but their house was perpetually a junky mess which was a microcosm of their "hold" on the daily grind imo) and having meddling ass in laws just was too much too overcome.
For those who saying im a bad friend or wrong to tell him to move consider this:
there is 0 chance my friend will win his custody battle or even get 50/50. No chance in hell. He doesnt have the money or support to fight it in court. They got married in WA. State, a state that statistically doesnt favor 50.50 split . His wife lived a square life and has played the separation game well by ceasing all contact between him and her. No paper trail to show instability.
She has shown 0 indication of compromise or mediation and has moved with a scorched earth policy. He wont get any help, empathy or sympathy from her.
TO make matters worse, my friend accumulated 2 DV charges against him in their 14 year marriage (he swears he never hit her just would lose his temper, punch walls, and pushed her this last go round as she attempted to call the cops on him). Shes been riding a protection order against him the past 6 months and plans on extending it. Those are risk factors and no judge in the USA will show sympathy to him.
With that said, why stay in a expensive ass state, barely getting by (even before child support and alimony), barely seeing your kids and having to squeeze all the missed time into whats generously 10 full days a month (120 days a year)....when a summer vaca lasts essentially the same amount of time but consecutive days? And with facetime nowadaysm you can have some semblance of seeing and interacting with your kids instead of a disembodied voice over the phone.
Obviously physically being in the same vicinity as your kids is preferable but nothing in my friends scenario is indicating that he will have any real contact with the kids despite living in the same fukkin city/state as them. Might as well live life on your terms at that point, but thats how i see it.
If his funds for legal representation are low there are civic organizations that assist in matters in family court
But here is what jumped out at me.....if he is being truthful and he didnt hit her WHY THE fukk DID HE NOT FIGHT THOSE DV CHARGES
I dont know bout yall there is no way on this earth I am letting untruthful DV charges be on my legal record.......that afects so many fukking things going forward including future background checks for employment etc
And he just let that slide....when so much is at stake.....WHAT THE fukk is he thinking
Isaiah Bradley
Banned
Not a divorcee but I hate to see folks blindly regurgitate narratives as if there aren't enough examples of successful summer/weekend dads, especially during the social media era
If court attempt fails to stop your ex-wife from relocating to another state, yall with this "bubu a father needs to be close," finna relocate too?
If court attempt fails to stop your ex-wife from relocating to another state, yall with this "bubu a father needs to be close," finna relocate too?
BmoreGorilla
Veteran
If the mother decides to leave to another state that’s actually grounds for the father to get full custody
Goat poster
KANG LIFE
There are actually clauses that stop one parent from moving out of state if the other does not consent.
