Real Relationship Quarrel, chime in

[Dirty D]

I wouldn't threaten to leave her yet, that'll only put her on the defensive rather than motivate her to contribute.

But I would secretly meet with a lawyer to figure out the custody situation in case that ended up happening.

 

[No_bammer_weed]

That's the thing about bytches. All this equal rights and independent shyt but soon as a man comes along then drop all that shyt. If I leave then I have no thought in my mind she'll be on her grind heavy because she'll have to but since we're together there's no sense of urgency.

Doggy, you gotta leave all this MRA sht alone and get serious. You are stuck in a very difficult predicament, and you aint getting any younger. Not only are you underemployed, but by the looks of what you've written you are stuck with a lemon of a partner that is doing you no favors. The obvious problem is that you've brought a life in this world, which negates your ability to simply walk away from her without consequence. At this point I would go under the assumption that she is a lost cause, and separate from her. Can you move back in with your folks and regroup financially, and focus on finding a stable career? Can she take over primary custody of the child, while you figure things out? Can either of your parents get involved financially, or with respect to care of the child? Again, this is get serious time. All the anti-feminism talk is gunna do you nada. You created this situation, now deal.

 

[mcellas]

Exactly! The thing is I can't be firm and tell her she needs to be up and at it to find something or she'll get tight and throw back up shyt when I was a POS totally negated what a brother is doing now.

bytches never lose in relationships. Only men I swear. I leave her then I got played out all my fukking money and nothing to show for it.

Is she from Miami South Florida?

 

[CodeBlaMeVi]

Is she from Miami South Florida?

Yes, by the way of Grenada but she was raised in America.

 

[Maddmike]

Leave her breh.... trust me. For one, from the sounds of it you are only with her for your son or that's what I get from it. If so, you need to leave now. You'll never be truly happy.

If you can't comfortably have this conversation with her for whatever reason then it won't ever work. I been married 10 years and I know breh trust. If my wife get lazy, I tell her and she gets up and change. vice versa. No crying no feelings hurt. We both understand that when one person not happy, the family suffers and our goal is to be number 1. Trust me breh. She's not the one

 

[Boogie]

I am at a crossroads right now in relations to my lady, the mother of my child. We moved in together in January, primarily because of me wanting to unite my family. I had plans of her working and me finding a stable job because I was living off of student loans then so we can have money in the bank. She goes ahead and quit her job because of whatever reasons knowing we're going into scary waters. Just haven't been active with anything since. She took a school loan a couple years ago and it has been an issue with her, her financial aid (she qualifies for) and the school since. It is pretty much July and she got a BS job at Fridays at the airport but quit that. I gave my blessings because it was a hassle and cost too much just to work there but hasn't been on her grind to find something else.

I work a POS job ($11/hr in fukking Miami) right now but I am actively looking for greener pastures. The expenses are killing me slowly and the money has dried up so it is paycheck to paycheck and it is still not enough.

So, my issue is if she doesn't start actively looking for something then I am beginning to seriously consider dropping this relationship. The hook is our son and the man in me can't leave him hanging. However, I didn't sign up to do this alone.

How would you dudes go about this predicament?

Real nikka shyt, cut her off. Nothing is a turnoff like a woman with no goals. Come to an agreement about money for the kid or go on child support, but you need to get her out of the picture, and start looking at the bigger picture.

Take the L and keep it pushing, but you gotta focus on you and the kid. If she don't wanna do shyt that's dead weight. You shouldn't be supporting a grown ass woman. Is both of your names on the lease?

 

[Maddmike]

Real nikka shyt, cut her off. Nothing is a turnoff like a woman with no goals. Come to an agreement about money for the kid or go on child support, but you need to get her out of the picture, and start looking at the bigger picture.

Take the L and keep it pushing, but you gotta focus on you and the kid. If she don't wanna do shyt that's dead weight. You shouldn't be supporting a grown ass woman. Is both of your names on the lease?

He's going to stay with her and when he gets 33, realize he made the biggest mistake of his like. Men are dumb as shyt

 

[karim]

sounds like she is looking to you as the provider of income. is she at least doing the housewife part?

talk to her and ask her what her goals are. if she tells you she wants to be a housewife and you're not looking for one, tell her that shyt doesn't fly with you and that you can't afford that. if she wants you to have an income that can sustain the both of you, she'll have to work now so you won't have to keep being underemployed.

if she wants to work, tell her she needs to get on her grind, because your finances have gone to shyts.

if she tries to throw shyt in your face, stay calm and tell her it's not about who is right and who did what in the past, but about what needs to be done to ensure that both of you have a future ahead of you that isn't filled with piece of shyt jobs and debt. it's also about what needs to be done to raise your child in a prosperous environment.

if she can't get down with any of the above, leave.

 

[old_timer]

i'd find a good spot where your degree can make bank
(or a good city with favorable cost of living)
move there on your own to set up a base of operations
get a real job, scout things out
and send for wifey when you are ready
meanwhile mail her enough cash to pay the rent
she can hustle for the utilities and food
(collect cans, sell the furniture, beg from churches, whatever)

this is a crisis situation
as michael ray once said: the ship be sinking

 

[Rawtid]

Is she cool with her parents? She needs to go and live back home. You need to move into a studio or a room in a boarding house until you get a better job and on your feet.

6 mos to a year at most.

 

[MikelArteta]

Sad to say you're screwed.

You kick her out them child support payments will prob like 250 a months she takes you to court lawyer fees, etc.

 

[MikelArteta]

Them child support payments though

Is she cool with her parents? She needs to go and live back home. You need to move into a studio or a room in a boarding house until you get a better job and on your feet.

6 mos to a year at most.

 

[Won Won]

There's obviously a lack of communication between you 2 if you don't even know why she quit her job.

 

[Rawtid]

That's the thing about bytches. All this equal rights and independent shyt but soon as a man comes along then drop all that shyt. If I leave then I have no thought in my mind she'll be on her grind heavy because she'll have to but since we're together there's no sense of urgency.

Lmao at no urgency...you're living check to check making $11 an hour AND supporting 3 people. It was urgent when you were living on loans. YOU made it seem like shyt was all good. Your situation was NEVER good from what i read.

I hope shes on birth control.

 

[Rawtid]

Them child support payments though

If she files.