Serious question for the married men on the coli...

[Sonic Boom of the South]

A bunch of post trying to shame men for being single




People really need to get off that BS

Man or woman. Relationships don't make u


If u wanna stay single
Do it

If u wanna get married n have kids
So be it



But don't try to stunt cause the people who pop the most shyt usually just deflecting from reality

 

[Sonic Boom of the South]

look breh. marriage is for mature people. and this is coming from someone headed toward his 2nd divorce
you have to find someone compatible with you...vertically and horizontally...

tbh i'll probably get married again...what im looking for has to be out there....has to be

Damm what would u say was the overall prob with your marriages?

Not compatible?
Money?
Conflict resolution?

 

[Hacksaw Jim Thuggin]

Men, pick your battles with your woman, let her have her way 90% of the time, but draw a line on 10% that you will absolute not budge

You may be thinking, wait that's some simp shyt..but hold up

Of that 90% that she wants her way...half of that, you probably on the same tip...only half of that you feel like it should be your way

But be strategic, let her have her small victories, keep the major victories for yourself

Do not hassle or nitpick on her victories, she wont dare question you when you put your foot down

Example

"Babe, can ____ and _____ come over Friday, we wanna watch the Mindy show"
"Sure babe"
( I was kinda looking forward to coming home and running some of dat NBA2K15...but I can do that Sunday, Ill just stay behind at school )

"Babe Im too tired to make dinner tonite"
"No worries babe"
(I aint looking forward to a damn tuna sandwich for dinner but baby girl is tired, stall her out cuz )

"Babe my sister wants to borrow your car for...."

this exactly...

sometimes when she calls you bluff...you gotta bounce...

i packed all my shyt and bounced last thursday....

life is short brehs

 

[Hacksaw Jim Thuggin]

Damm what would u say was the overall prob with your marriages?

Not compatible?
Money?
Conflict resolution?

1st one: i wasnt ready or mature enough to be married...cheated...ran her into the ground. ...i was no good...not even gonna try to lie about it

2nd one: wife is too confrontational...im a laid back kind of guy...one of those sistas that wanna get up in your face...pop shyt like a man in one breath...but then hide behind the fact she's a woman in the next. i take responsibility for this one too...tbh she hasnt changed. I HAVE. my entire out look on life has changed buried 2 friends in december. quit my job in febuary...and went into business for myself.

she really has no place in my life anymore. the person i am and am becoming cant have a person like her around

 

[Sonic Boom of the South]

1st one: i wasnt ready or mature enough to be married...cheated...ran her into the ground. ...i was no good...not even gonna try to lie about it

2nd one: wife is too confrontational...im a laid back kind of guy...one of those sistas that wanna get up in your face...pop shyt like a man in one breath...but then hide behind the fact she's a woman in the next. i take responsibility for this one too...tbh she hasnt changed. I HAVE. my entire out look on life has changed buried 2 friends in december. quit my job in febuary...and went into business for myself.

she really has no place in my life anymore. the person i am and am becoming cant have a person like her around

Damm so wife #1 could have been a keeper

Wife 2 sound crazy


The good thang is these women thirsty out cheer so u will be eating good after the divorce

 

[Hacksaw Jim Thuggin]

Damm so wife #1 could have been a keeper

Wife 2 sound crazy


The good thang is these women thirsty out cheer so u will be eating good after the divorce

yea wife 1 was a good chick

tbh not really sweating finding company...that will take care of itself. more interested in working on me for now

 

[root_eruditorium_org]

damn bro. tell us what happened. we are here for you

pic looks like a gangbang about to ensue

 

[Behind-the-wheel]

Dog you've got 1 kid and sound like you hate your life. All those cons you listed have nothing to do with marriage and more to do with whatever messed up way you've structured your life. Marriage in no way stops you from doing any of those things and in many ways improves your ability to do them. Sounds like you just have a bad relationship tbh. I not only make new friends but I drive 5 hours home periodically to kick it with my day 1's. My wife and I have fun together but also give each other space to have fun apart from each other. We just went to Africa last summer with our first born. You just need to improve your relationship homie

Lucky you.
As I said in the opening sentence, I rushed into things.
Had I known she had the issues that came up about 3 months into our marriage, before we got married, I would not have married.
Now it's too late.
Couldn't leave without putting her body in the desert.

 

[Behind-the-wheel]

Married life is great but can be trying.
I never cheated.
The key is to never settle, marry the women that full fills your needs and wants in everyway, this way you don't have to go looking for it in someone else.

shyt, after this I don't even really wanna be in any relationships with a woman ever again.
I ain't claiming any gay shyt, but I'm done with women.
Too much fukkin headaches and emotional bullshyt.
Me and my palms 4 lyfe!

 

[LeftCoast]

0000000000000000000000000002953700000000000000000000000000029537

Because you get to really know a person once you live with them. Which is what you want to know if your planning on marrying them. I mean you have the traditional folks that say don't live together until you get married. But that's bullshyt. You don't want to find out anything about your wife that didn't know prior to going into marriage. There may be some shyt she does that's a game changer.

I mean don't get me wrong, you get still get to know a person before you live with them, but as far as how responsible they are, how they pay bills, how they spend as opposed saving, how they go about cleaning up after themselves, hell they go about cleaning themselves. A lot of that type of stuff is kept behind closed doors, but when you live with a person there is really no secrets. Plus you get a chance to get all the arguing and the bullshyt out the way before you get married too. That's just my opinion though. Sure others have their say so on the matter as well. I say 2-3 years because by that time you pretty much should have the odds and ends of knowing the person your with. It takes time to really get to know people. Just saying give it time and get to know the person I got engaged in year 2, but we didn't get married until year 7. And we both agreed that it was for the best. We broke up so many times, but always came back together. And by the time we had gone 2 years without really have a bad fallen out and were pretty much connecting on cylinders we knew it was time.

whats the longest yall broke up before breh? kinda goin through the same situation

 

[NoChillJones]

whats the longest yall broke up before breh? kinda goin through the same situation

Honestly like 4-5 days. Nothing crazy. As much shyt as she talks she always come back to a nikka.

 

[Verbal Kint]

Lucky you.
As I said in the opening sentence, I rushed into things.
Had I known she had the issues that came up about 3 months into our marriage, before we got married, I would not have married.
Now it's too late.
Couldn't leave without putting her body in the desert.

Not trying to knock you, you just sound defeated. Obviously I have no clue what issues she has but are ya'll trying to work on them? Trying to make things better? Challenging her to do better? Everybody has issues and while some are worse than others, most people fall somewhere in the 'manageable with work' area. I know cats that just don't even try and of course those relationships are miserable and doomed to fail

 

[NoChillJones]

Married after a year of dating. Figured I reached the pinnacle of my ability to attract a female.

I would not get married if I could do it all over again.
Nor do I recommend anyone else get married...There is way too much compromise.
I realize that the comfort and stability that I enjoy daily are all due to my wife's support and encouragement, but I've sacrificed all of my personal freedoms and personal life goals in order to be "married". The daily routine gets stale real fukking quick. You don't go out anymore, your friends leave, your family leaves, you can't be yourself, you can't just have a quiet moment, work becomes more fun than being home, being home is nothing but a chore or complete boredom, you have a permanent attachment to a boring person all weekend that's so bad that you yearn to go back to work on monday, the only thing you really have going for you after a while is being able to say you're with someone and stable.
Then once you're in you can't leave or you're back broke and poor or in jail for murder.
It's not worth it.
If you don't get married in the first place, you avoid all this bullshyt.

I would rather go back to making 40k a year and living in a ratty studio apartment, interacting with my blood family on the regular and enjoying all that life has to offer, rather than living a complacent safe excitement devoid life of stability and boredom.

I'm not driven by looks or p*ssy so I don't have any desire to cheat on my wife or give in to other females chasing me, I only want back what I was born with...

My fukkin freedom to live...

CONS:
I'm never going to get my college degree
I'm never gonna have a new car
I'm never gonna see the world outside of this country
I'm never gonna work the jobs I want to
I'm never gonna have sex again
I'm never gonna meet new people
I'm never gonna make new friends
I'm never gonna take another road trip
I'm never gonna do anything significant with my life from here on out

PROS:
Stability
Bragging rights over being married longer than anyone I knew
Someone has my back constantly
Love
My kid
Tax breaks

Bruh what are you doing with your life? Sounds like you gave your wife your balls for life. Man up some my dude. Sounds like wifey is a ball buster. Amd you just give in rather then fight for your right to live. fukk that. I may not ruj my house but goddamn if Im not going to get my wants in life. Just came back from MIA on some fukkery with the homies. And she was cool with it too. Plan on taking her in July though. Ahe understanfs money comes money goes. Might as well have fun when its coming cause when it goes....that shyt is for the birds.

 

[CinnaSlim]

Now I know there's this whole notion of GMB and HOH on this site, but that tends to come up when we read about a woman cheating on her man or one who takes all the money from him. My question is intended to "normal" married couples.

Do you recommend marriage? If you could back, would you still get married?

Not that I have a woman in my life. but the problem I have is almost every married couple I see seem "fed up". They argue over the dumbest things, constantly. They don't seem happy. Life is basically the same routine. They gotta wake up early to make lunches for the kid and drop them off at daycare, school, grandma, work etc. It seems there's nothing fun going on in the lives of the spouses. They don't got time for the movies, restaurant, vacation, get together with friends, etc. They're tired of life and just lay back at home. Just order the other one around to get milk and the diapers.

Not that I'm a super savage, but how do you wake up every morning for the rest of your life to the same woman? Both physically and emotionally? After a while she might fall off in looks, but importantly, 10, 15, 20 years from now... what are the chances she'll be the same person you chose to get married with?

Do you cheat on your wife or ever have?

Things that cross my mind.

Kids ruin lives.

 

[Lady.Libra.]

I enjoyed reading this thread - It was mature & honest.

I am never getting hitched or having a child: Procreating and raising mentally/emotionally healthy kids into strong productive adults within the confines of a solid loving union is the sole purpose of being married.

Be abundantly happy, brothers. Thank you for sharing the ins, outs, and rounds.