Should marriage be important to the black community?

[Cynic]

I volunteer within my community. From what I've seen yes, or at least some of these kids need positive role models hopefully male and female.

You look at the kids and they're generally good kids, but the environment will screw it up.

I don't know why people say marriage is not the norm amongst black people. Africans always get married and they have some of the most successful marriages. I know plenty that have been married for 10+ years

Africans don't come from gynocentric countries that allow the government to ruin families

It's simply not in their modus operandi and religion plays a b!g part in enforcing that
since they'll most likely become pariahs within their own extended families/friends

 

[Rawtid]

@Rawtid needs to stop fukking around and have my kids


But to answer the question yes, I but not due to religious reasons but economically.

I wasn't aware you wanted me to have your kids. Why didn't you PM me or something?

 

[Malt-O-Meal]

Of course marriage should be important to the black community. Broken families are not the ideal households for raising children. Look at our situation now, it's a mess.

@Rawtid
@KamalaJones is right. Who do you think will be living in these multigenerational homes? It'll be single mothers with their parents. That is not ideal. Most black women are underpaid as is, then how stable or how much can grandparents really contribute? We have some people living like that now and it's not working. Once again you'll have an absent father figure since he more than likely isn't going to be living in these multigenerational homes.
This really does sound like some really low expectations.

 

[kaldurahm]

Africans don't come from gynocentric countries that allow the government to ruin families

It's simply not in their modus operandi and religion plays a b!g part in enforcing that
since they'll most likely become pariahs within their own extended families/friends

I don't understand the religion part. I mean yeah, Africans generally are very religious and sure marriage is a key tie to their beliefs. But religion aside, I think two rational adults would want to do whatever it takes to make a success out of their children. There are plenty of people who even put their happiness aside for the children's sake or at least wait until the children are at a good age where they can hopefully understand the situation

Whether religious or not many want their kids to grow up in the most optimal environment possible in hopes to yield beneficial results.

Someone said marriage is an economically beneficial for the family. It's true. It's not all about love thats why even set-up relationships and perhaps even arranged marriages work.

 

[Rawtid]

Of course marriage should be important to the black community. Broken families are not the ideal households for raising children. Look at our situation now, it's a mess.

@Rawtid
@KamalaJones is right. Who do you think will be living in these multigenerational homes? It'll be single mothers with their parents. That is not ideal. Most black women are underpaid as is, then how stable or how much can grandparents really contribute? We have some people living like that now and it's not working. Once again you'll have an absent father figure since he more than likely isn't going to be living in these multigenerational homes.
This really does sound like some really low expectations.

That's your opinion and I actually see and experience differently. Grandfathers (pop-pops), uncles, etc really stepping up to the plate and creating a "village" for raising children in a proper environment. Marriage by itself does not mean a stable environment. Black people being underpaid is exactly the reason we need to live with others. We create stronger financial households that way. Again, I'm not anti marriage but that is not the ONLY nor BEST way to raise children, imo.

 

[Malt-O-Meal]

It would be better if black people learned to love and respect each other as well as change our views on relationships. Marriage isn't only about love but a building block for your future and your kids' future. All these broken homes and multiple OOW children stretches you thin. This further messes us up financially.

 

[Malt-O-Meal]

@Rawtid I guess we'll have to agree to disagree. As you have seen it work, I've seen the opposite. Plus grandparents can help out, as well as extended family, but I don't think it's realistic. It's definitely unfair to the grandparents, they've already raised their kids. Why can't we put this mostly in the parents. You made the kids not the grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. The people who should be building with each other are husband and wife. Grandparents can help via inheritance, babysitting once in awhile, but that's about it.

I've seen foreigners have multigenerational homes but it wasn't permanent but short term, it was to save money and eventually move out. And where is the child's father in your scenario?

 

[The ADD]

@Rawtid I guess we'll have to agree to disagree. As you have seen it work, I've seen the opposite. Plus grandparents can help out, as well as extended family, but I don't think it's realistic. It's definitely unfair to the grandparents, they've already raised their kids. Why can't we put this mostly in the parents. You made the kids not the grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. The people who should be building with each other are husband and wife. Grandparents can help via inheritance, babysitting once in awhile, but that's about it.

I've seen foreigners have multigenerational homes but it wasn't permanent but short term, it was to save money and eventually move out. And where is the child's father in your scenario?

I doubt that if the parents are generally good people that the extended family would mind.

I'm biased because that's the environment I grew up in . My family wanted to play a part of the grandchildren's lives wether both parents were involved or not. They all did what they could and it was appreciated

 

[Man On Fire]

This quote got me thinking is the notion of marrying working for us as a whole? Or are we attempting to participate in a race we no longer have a horse in?


DISCLAIMER. I'M NOT ANTI BLACK MARRIAGE.

It is the absolute most important thing that we as a people should focus on. Man and Woman bonded legally and spiritually creating a legacy. Every child should have a father in the home. Taking the father out of the home is the first step to allowing the devil in a child's life. But now the community has viewed it as a choice not a responsibility. Liberalism has destroyed our community. It is the core of our problems. Now we have an infestation of fakkitry, lesbianism, and fratricide thats being endorsed by the 10% blood suckers of humanity.

 

[Rawtid]

@Rawtid I guess we'll have to agree to disagree. As you have seen it work, I've seen the opposite. Plus grandparents can help out, as well as extended family, but I don't think it's realistic. It's definitely unfair to the grandparents, they've already raised their kids. Why can't we put this mostly in the parents. You made the kids not the grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. The people who should be building with each other are husband and wife. Grandparents can help via inheritance, babysitting once in awhile, but that's about it.

I've seen foreigners have multigenerational homes but it wasn't permanent but short term, it was to save money and eventually move out. And where is the child's father in your scenario?

Well foreigners are different because they have a culture of marriage so I don't think it's fair to compare ourselves to them. African Anericans have a historically broken culture so we HAVE to organize our families differently in order to have the best impact on our children who aren't in traditional families.

 

[Malt-O-Meal]

@The ADD
I agree there is nothing wrong and most families don't mind helping out but it just seems like placing the responsibility on someone else. I grew up with my grandparents and for a while they lived with us (my mom, dad, and sister). But my parents were married and were the primary caretakers of my sister and I.
I could be wrong, but it seems like we're not even concerned with the father in picture. If it was just us, my mom, and grandparents it would have been more difficult. My grandparents were retires do how much could they really contribute?

I guess I'm saying that multigenerational family can work for some people but I feel that both parents must be in that home. And if both parents are there why not get married? It'd be more beneficial for taxes, money, etc.

 

[Malt-O-Meal]

@Rawtid
African Americans were not the only ones who suffered during slavery and after slavery dissolved. The broken family issue is across the board for those in the diaspora. Why is it seen as AAs are broken beyond repair? AAs have had strong family units in the past and there are some today. I just think mentalities need to change, not just give up.

 

[The ADD]

@The ADD
I agree there is nothing wrong and most families don't mind helping out but it just seems like placing the responsibility on someone else. I grew up with my grandparents and for a while they lived with us (my mom, dad, and sister). But my parents were married and were the primary caretakers of my sister and I.
I could be wrong, but it seems like we're not even concerned with the father in picture. If it was just us, my mom, and grandparents it would have been more difficult. My grandparents were retires do how much could they really contribute?

I guess I'm saying that multigenerational family can work for some people but I feel that both parents must be in that home. And if both parents are there why not get married? It'd be more beneficial for taxes, money, etc.

Well, I offered my view point but that wasn't to say you were wrong.

I'm only talking from what I've seen and I've seen some ways work and some ways not so much. That said I don't think the idea of raising a child in a non-traditional two parent home should ever but the goal. I'm sure that overlooks people that want to adopt without a partner. I guess my view point is that it can work if that goal isn't attained for whatever reason.

 

[emerald]

the quality of black marriages are the problem. not the quantity.

 

[Scientific Playa]

worth the read.

this chick from the motherland is ride or die.
her cheating husband's jump-offs be sending her screen shots.



Monday, April 4
Caroline Danjuma clears the air on her marriage status and husband's cheating ways

Caroline’s billionaire husband, Musa Danjuma has been accused, several times of having multiple extra-marital affairs, and fathering a child with a mistress.



On April 2, he was again spotted at Villa Medici restaurant, Victoria Island, Lagos, with a yet-to-be identified woman, enjoying what appeared to be an intimate dinner for two. Caroline first reacted to the story by having a good laugh. She just came clean of her relationship status and how she's dealing with her husband's cheating.

Please read what the actress just shared on her IG page.



















- See more at: Caroline Danjuma clears the air on her marriage status and husband's cheating ways | Nigerian: Breaking News In Nigeria | Laila's Blog