Should Men Always -- Or Even Usually -- Pay For Dates?

[George Gooney]

As @kevm3 stated, traditional women get traditional treatment.

If you're some new age smut slanging it around for free and expect me to pay, you've got to be out of your mind.

That's why it's always good to learn all you can about a woman's past so you don't get played, brehs.

"Past is past" type nikkas will be dropping major money on a chick who let the entire football team hit for free, a chick who let the nikka from Wal Mart smash after buying her one frozen drink at TGIF, or the bartender who gave her a few free drinks, etc.

Don't be a sucka. Once you learn a woman's previous selling price, don't go any higher.

No lie breh you're a prolific poster!

 

[mamba]

No lie breh you're a prolific poster!

Just trying to sharpen other Black men.

 

[Amy Traphouse]

i think the reason most dudes do it is because they cant think of another way to spend time with the girl.

If you meet a girl in a place where youre likely to run into her multiple times such as the library, apartment building, work, through very good mutual friends etc then you can build enough of a connection that inviting her over just to chill isnt too forward or creepy.

but if you meet a girl in a store, mall, public transit, club etc...pretty much anywhere that its very unlikely for you to see her again then most dudes figure they gotta ask her out on a date because any smart girl isnt going to just visit a guys house when she doesnt know him well. They figure all guys want is sex so inviting a chick to the crib is out of the question. When girls ask what the date entails I suppose they figure it has to be something fun and money is gonna have to be spent.

If you're asking a woman out on a date to get to know her then go to Baskin Robbins, Chili's for lunch, or just sit at Starbucks for coffee.

It should be a red flag if a woman wants more than that off the bat. Hell if after a few phone conversations she's showing signs of disintrest then why keep entertaining? Because you want to fukk? Its plenty of chicks that will throw ass with little to no effort but instead dudes waste time and money on a chick that has already decided to put them in the friend zone from the jump.

Also, if you ask me out ANYWHERE, I do expect you to pay. If I know it may be more than expected (because I may want to try an appetizer or I decided to order a 12oz steak) then i'll go ahead and help cover or at least take care of the tip if he doesn't let me put in.

But I've been burnt before where a dude asked me out, I offered to drive, then when the bill comes...he only has $10. Okay. I paid and let him find his own way home. Sorry, not sorry.

 

[mamba]

If you're asking a woman out on a date to get to know her then go to Baskin Robbins, Chili's for lunch, or just sit at Starbucks for coffee.

It should be a red flag if a woman wants more than that off the bat. Hell if after a few phone conversations she's showing signs of disintrest then why keep entertaining? Because you want to fukk? Its plenty of chicks that will throw ass with little to no effort but instead dudes waste time and money on a chick that has already decided to put them in the friend zone from the jump.

Also, if you ask me out ANYWHERE, I do expect you to pay. If I know it may be more than expected (because I may want to try an appetizer or I decided to order a 12oz steak) then i'll go ahead and help cover or at least take care of the tip if he doesn't let me put in.

But I've been burnt before where a dude asked me out, I offered to drive, then when the bill comes...he only has $10. Okay. I paid and let him find his own way home. Sorry, not sorry.

Do you ever ask men out? If so, do you pay?

 

[Drew Wonder]

simple, if you ASK her, you should pay, if she ASKS you (which rarely happens) she should pay. if ya'll are in a relationship, ya'll should go dutch.

and like the author said, if she offers to pay for her half on the first date, I'll say no and pay, but I'll appreciate the gesture and it will more than likely lead to a second date

but yeah, never understood how a dude can ask a girl out then get mad when she expects you to pay for a date you invited her to go to.

 

[mamba]

simple, if you ASK her, you should pay, if she ASKS you (which rarely happens) she should pay. if ya'll are in a relationship, ya'll should go dutch.

and like the author said, if she offers to pay for her half on the first date, I'll say no and pay, but I'll appreciate the gesture and it will more than likely lead to a second date

but yeah, never understood how a dude can ask a girl out then get mad when she expects you to pay for a date you invited her to go to.

shyt, no one is saying a man shouldn't pay for the first date if he asks her out.

It's down the line that's the problem. Is he still paying 100% of the time? Is she ever proactively planning shyt and taking him out?

That's the shyt that's problematic.

 

[Amy Traphouse]

Do you ever ask men out? If so, do you pay?

Yes I do. I usually like to try new restaurants and if a guy was interested I'd suggest a restaurant and ask if he would like to join me.

If he does, then I'll pay with no problem. Most times they would object and offer to pay. I just feel its fair, especially if he may be unfamiliar with the prices and such.

 

[Drew Wonder]

shyt, no one is saying a man shouldn't pay for the first date if he asks her out.

It's down the line that's the problem. Is he still paying 100% of the time? Is she ever proactively planning shyt and taking him out?

That's the shyt that's problematic.

yeah, I agree. BUT, don't act like women are the sole reason for that bullshyt. A lot of dudes get their egos bruised or get the impression that the girl isn't interested/won't smash if she offers to pay. these are the same type of dudes who have issues with their girlfriends/wives making more money than them. Some women are selfish but some also don't pay because they get the impression from men that women offering to pay is bad social etiquette or some shyt

 

[Colicat]

i think the reason most dudes do it is because they cant think of another way to spend time with the girl.

If you meet a girl in a place where youre likely to run into her multiple times such as the library, apartment building, work, through very good mutual friends etc then you can build enough of a connection that inviting her over just to chill isnt too forward or creepy.

but if you meet a girl in a store, mall, public transit, club etc...pretty much anywhere that its very unlikely for you to see her again then most dudes figure they gotta ask her out on a date because any smart girl isnt going to just visit a guys house when she doesnt know him well. They figure all guys want is sex so inviting a chick to the crib is out of the question. When girls ask what the date entails I suppose they figure it has to be something fun and money is gonna have to be spent.

You are going from zero to 100

What happened to phone calls and conversations?
Walks in the park?
Cups of coffee?

Just straight to let's have dinner, ... At my place?

 

[Bless't]

I pay for dinner, she pays for brunch and mimosas the next morning.

 

[FTBS]

I read through thread after thread of "bu...bu...but why a woman gotta be judged by her body count", "why are single mothers criticized but nothing is said about the man" but when it comes to paying for shyt and physical violence suddenly patriarchy and tradition and inequality ain't so bad Obviously some traditional values are outdated and unfair and have no place in modern society. However, people never want to have this nuanced discussion or keep it logical or consistent and accept the downside. It's always "fukk tradition and patriarchy"...until of course it comes time to pay for a date I say your dating habits should be based on how you roll. If you are a "liberated" woman whose body count doesn't matter and is all about equal equal 50 50 then you can't turn around and expect a dude to foot the bill. Same thing with dudes, you wanna be he-man alpha male "what I say goes" you need to be footing the bill. Whatever variations you put on those things should go both ways.

 

[Taadow]

What I think the problem is some dudes don't bring enough to the table to have women competing for them and or they are punching way above their weight class so they have to overcompensate to compete.

I think this is part of it...however:

- they don't realize the dating game is not about "competing" with third parties or "weight classes"...
it's about that particular woman and that particular man.

 

[L. Deezy]

In this day and age, a man paying 100% of the time is foolish.

Keep your wallet in your pocket for a change, brehs.

I tend to agree with this a little more now than I did in the past.

I do think you have to know what category of woman you should date. My ex, I paid all the time. I didnt mind tho. she was bad

Ive dated a chick that wanted Del Friscos and would actually order a 40 dollar steak and then would want to go have drinks and hookah and all that afterwards. so that was a nice bill. My only complaint between she and the ex was I KNEW MY EX would do that with her own money if I wasnt in the picture. She has money.. The other chick kinda knew it was MY DIME that she was on and it was oh well.. lol

But you kinda have to know what category of woman you dealing with and go from there.

 

[AquaCityBoy]

Another misogynistic circle jerk?

 

[philmonroe]

If your about substance and loyalty this means nothing.

Status, money, a nice car will never get you a good for woman of character

Dudes still thinking a surplus of quality woman will be there at the end because of your life being "right"

You can be in the top 1% and still get screwed over whole the dude working at Walmart 40hours will get loyalty till death

There is never a perfect timing for a good woman to enter your life

Anything you do in life should be to invest in yourself

Status, money, a nice car won't get you a good woman of character but apparently lacking in all three will? shyt dudes might as well not do shyt but just have dimes come through since it takes nothing allegedly to get women of substance. Dudes think that about the surplus of women cause you see it play out IRL that way most of,the time not fantasy land where the majority of bad loyal chicks with substance just fukking with the local burger flipper. If that works for you cool but that's an outlier situation and definitely isn't going to work for the masses. Did you really just put a no shyt comment about Wal mart? No shyt you can get screwed but you can get screwed being a bum too for a rich dude so don't know why you even put that like it can't go both ways. Also who said it was a perfect time for a woman to enter your life? I didn't just think its better when you know you have stuff going for you instead of still finding yourself or not right enough to be in a relationship mentally, monetarily, physically. Lastly how you going to contradict yourself by saying all this status, money, etc don't matter but then say you should invest in yourself? Hell you think you doing investing yourself and the by products of said investment? Not only are you improving but your making yourself a better catch for the woman too whether you want to admit it or not.