Single folks: If you were to get married..

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

Personally, I would not agree to an unbalanced situation nor would I marry anyone who doesn’t have any tangibles! That is non-negotiable at this point in my life.

I am down for splitting things 50/ 50 that is acquired within a marriage providing that the spouse is also contributing towards the wealth gain.

But, what has to be stated in any agreement I sign, is that my house is off limits! My pension is off limits! But, I would not marry someone who doesn’t also have a pension, so if that person hit up my pension, then I will hit hers up!

Now, I prefer to add in a mortality clause as well that both parties must honor..

Basically, honor the marriage vows and then should I pass away, then all assets and tangibles goes to the spouse! No problem.

No rewards for those who can’t honor marriage vows, on both ends!

So BPE, I may be one of those dudes who simply can’t get married. I have to get something out of it that benefits me, financially and emotionally.

Call it fear based and insecure. It’s all good! Never said I am perfect nor will I beat myself up to be someone who have to be perfect and flawless when everyone else have flaws and imperfections..

Btw, what sparked this thread was a conversation I had with a woman co-worker/union sister during lunch the other day..It was an interesting conversation..

Well a 50/50 split is standard and if you acquired the house before the marriage it wouldn't be on the table anyway.

Also from that scenario you just listed what exactly are you trying to gain?

 

[Fat Fred Jones]

At the very least, I'd recommended a prenuptial that specifically bars support in the event of infidelity and alienation. As is, in most states, a person could blatantly cheat and still be awarded spousal support, even though they went outside the marriage. Alienation is tougher to prove, but is still quite common when one partner is no longer interested in the marriage, but don't want to initiate a divorce or cross the ultimate line.

Regardless, I recommend waiting until mature ages and knowing the person for a few years before making that commitment. People change so much especially when young and certainly after the infatuation phase.

 

[Commish]

Well a 50/50 split is standard and if you acquired the house before the marriage it wouldn't be on the table anyway.

Also from that scenario you just listed what exactly are you trying to gain?

My main purpose for marriage is love, companionship and to create a family. But, aside from that, the fact remains that marriage is a business partnership. All businesses cost money.

As far as my house being off the table, that isn't necessarily true. This is one thing I discussed with my lady coworker as she shared to me what happens to one individual we both with.

But, at the end of the day, I couldn't build a family with someone who was poor.

Sounds fukked up and I don't mean to be harsh, but someone coming to the table with nothing but a their draws and mood swings ain't gonna cut it with me!

I am getting older and thinking about my retirement within the foreseeable future. When I do call it quits, I need to live the remaining part of my life comfortably as well as with peace.

Let me hit the lotto, then I can be more generous and flexible with my tangibles with someone.

 

[Crashwd5]

If you wait till marriage to get a prenup, you already lost.

 

[Commish]

At the very least, I'd recommended a prenuptial that specifically bars support in the event of infidelity and alienation. As is, in most states, a person could blatantly cheat and still be awarded spousal support, even though they went outside the marriage. Alienation is tougher to prove, but is still quite common when one partner is no longer interested in the marriage, but don't want to initiate a divorce or cross the ultimate line.

Regardless, I recommend waiting until mature ages and knowing the person for a few years before making that commitment. People change so much especially when young and certainly after the infatuation phase.

I know a few states honor alienation of affection, but do you think it could be added in a pre- and post nuptial agreement?

That is why in a previous post that I would prefer to add a morality clause in the agreement for both parties to abide by. If pro sports owners can do it, then why not private citizens?

I also agree that waiting until one is older may be best, but the drawback is that older people tend to be less flexible, set in their ways and come with baggage.

 

[Commish]

If you wait till marriage to get a prenup, you already lost.

Well, you are damned if you do and damned if you don't!

Marriage simply isn't for everyone!

 

[Software]

Would you ever marry w/o a prenuptial agreement?

Do you think that adding a morality clause to the agreement is legally binding?

No

And

Yes

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

My main purpose for marriage is love, companionship and to create a family. But, aside from that, the fact remains that marriage is a business partnership. All businesses cost money.

As far as my house being off the table, that isn't necessarily true. This is one thing I discussed with my lady coworker as she shared to me what happens to one individual we both with.

But, at the end of the day, I couldn't build a family with someone who was poor.

Sounds fukked up and I don't mean to be harsh, but someone coming to the table with nothing but a their draws and mood swings ain't gonna cut it with me!

I am getting older and thinking about my retirement within the foreseeable future. When I do call it quits, I need to live the remaining part of my life comfortably as well as with peace.

Let me hit the lotto, then I can be more generous and flexible with my tangibles with someone.

Thank you for the answer but I really think ya'll be over doing it with the "taken to the bank" narrative. I know plenty divorced men and not one got murdered in the divorce. More than a few got to keep the homes they bought together. In fact, most divorced men I know didn't skip a beat as far as lifestyle and happily married again.

 

[Commish]

Thank you for the answer but I really think ya'll be over doing it with the "taken to the bank" narrative. I know plenty divorced men and not one got murdered in the divorce. More than a few got to keep the homes they bought together. In fact, most divorced men I know didn't skip a beat as far as lifestyle and happily married again.

I believe you, but then again, your friend's wives had at least enough respect for their ex husbands not to pocket rape them.

I have a relative whose to be ex wife chose to not go to the WS courts regarding custody issues.

They may not be able to reconcile their differences, but they have enough mutual respect to not take their family matters outside.

Me,

IMO, my romantic situation is on some spiritual level of fukkery, so I can't phantom putting myself out there to get dogwalked by someone who never gave a damn about me. Them days is over for me!

If I meet someone who is frfr on some real shyt and on a spiritual level connects with me, then there will be no need to do a prenuptial agreement. What is mine is hers and vice versa!

But, until I find someone who is vibrating on a level that may damn near have her hovering over the floor as she walks while radiating like a statued lamp, then I gotta break out with the paperwork, just in case she decides to do some foul shyt. That way, all I have to deal with is my emotions rather than that and my pockets.

I don't trust the judicial system nor do I trust a lot of people. That is something I will have to continue work on and perhaps from that, maybe I could see marriage along the same lines as yourself..

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

I believe you, but then again, your friend's wives had at least enough respect for their ex husbands not to pocket rape them.

I have a relative whose to be ex wife chose to not go to the WS courts regarding custody issues.

They may not be able to reconcile their differences, but they have enough mutual respect to not take their family matters outside.

Me,

IMO, my romantic situation is on some spiritual level of fukkery, so I can't phantom putting myself out there to get dogwalked by someone who never gave a damn about me. Them days is over for me!

If I meet someone who is frfr on some real shyt and on a spiritual level connects with me, then there will be no need to do a prenuptial agreement. What is mine is hers and vice versa!

But, until I find someone who is vibrating on a level that may damn near have her hovering over the floor as she walks while radiating like a statued lamp, then I gotta break out with the paperwork, just in case she decides to do some foul shyt. That way, all I have to deal with is my emotions rather than that and my pockets.

I don't trust the judicial system nor do I trust a lot of people. That is something I will have to continue work on and perhaps from that, maybe I could see marriage along the same lines as yourself..

Breh you could literally come up with your own marriage contract, have it notarized and then file it will the county clerk. Boom, you are married without the court system. Just name a arbitrator in case it goes wrong.

I see your prospective but I think you should educate yourself a little more about the subject. You seem to be going off of conjecture and coming from a fear based POV.

I don't know one person who got got in a divorce and there is more than one way to go about besides trying to use one contract to undo another.

 

[Commish]

Breh you could literally come up with your own marriage contract, have it notarized and then file it will the county clerk. Boom, you are married without the court system. Just name a arbitrator in case it goes wrong.

I see your prospective but I think you should educate yourself a little more about the subject. You seem to be going off of conjecture and coming from a fear based POV.

I don't know one person who got got in a divorce and there is more than one way to go about besides trying to use one contract to undo another.

The first thing I said in my thread is that perhaps my POV is fear based..

Not once did I ever say that my perspective is factual. Yes, it is conjecture, but at least I was transparent about my feelings regarding this topic.

Of course, I will educate myself on marriage, pre-/post nupts, etc. when the time is for me to do so.

I am telling you, ignorant or not, what I ain't going to do. And with that, I am not going to just up and marry someone without protecting myself. Aside from that, said woman has to bring something tangible and intangible to the table because I am NOT interested in just taking care of someone w/o any reciprocity.

It has to be a mutual partnership, in mind, spirit and financially. Either we prosper together or suffer together. But, at least it is together where the love and RESPECT for each other is MUTUAL!

Much respect for engaging in a civil level of discourse with me on the topic. I learned some things. Thanks!