So what is wrong with settling?

[onelastdeath]

Exactly. Especially people that have long requirement lists.
Most nikkas be like she aint a model but she cool, respectful and caters to ya boy. I can rock with this.
That aint settling.

Women settle more than men though. Far more.

 

[Remote]

What settles to the bottom of the pan when you fry breaded Tilapia or chicken?

When you don't shake orange juice before serving it, the flavor settles on the bottom.

A settlement in a lawsuit or divorce means what? Taking the path of least resistance, and also not getting the most out of
a situation.

For anything in life, if you settle, you accept the most convenient option, which may solve one problem, but usually leads to others.
You can never truly feel fulfilled if instead of options and decisions, you only have arbitrations and accepting what comes to you.

Half the fun of life is striving for better. If you aren't doing that, your life is never truly in your hands. Your fate lies in what
someone else leaves available to you.

This is reasonable.
But wouldn't you agree that it also breeds this mentality that there's always something better? And that mentality can be the cause of a lot of unnecessary breakups and problems?

Or would you say that the mentality is a necessary evil for overall progress?

 

[Arianne Martell]

there are levels when it comes to "settling"

My boyfriend is 5'10"...my preference is 6'

that is the only aspect of him that I had to "settle" and I can live with that and I am very happy with my decision.

If he had a bad character...no matter how tall...I would not be able to do it..at all.

 

[Diondon]

Women settle more than men though. Far more.

Depends on the situation and where they at in life.
Men are more accomodating to women that aren't necessarily their ideal
Most men don't have the options women do

 

[Ronnie Lott]

Aren't most people average (mediocre) though?

Or maybe you're on that

Yes and no. Many people simply don't want to put the time, energy or effort into themselves, therefore they have a low self image of themselves. They often feel like they aren't deserving of a good looking spouse, lavish lifestyle or finer things in life.

Why settle for somebody or something that you truly don't like?

 

[Black Magisterialness]

Exactly. Especially people that have long requirement lists.
Most nikkas be like she aint a model but she cool, respectful and caters to ya boy. I can rock with this.
That aint settling.

Exactly. To Settle is to accept a situation that you know isn't positive or may actually be poisonous because your fukking lonely.

Satisfied is my girl is on point (whatever that means to you), our living situation is cool, we can do the things we want to do ect. Satisfied continues to grow and gets better over time. Settling only breeds resentment and regret.

 

[Blackout]

Most people are absolutely settling, and the divorce rates are explainable through the mindset of the average American person. Which is ultimate financially flexibility by any means.

Take something like this.

This man is as rich as they come. Is dating a model right now. They get married, they'll probably get divorced.

Is this someone she wants to be with? Who knows. Looking at them, and the mindset of a lot of women, she might want someone who's more attractive, or someone who is more sexually appealing to her. BUT his money will make her stay. And she'll settle for the money.

She'll say " He's not as good looking as I would like, Im not attracted to him, but he's rich and I'll be safe and we'll have kids"

And that's pretty much it. That's how it works today.

How do you know his personality isnt a good one or whether she is attracted to him or not?

I mainly see you focusing on the looks factor.

 

[onelastdeath]

Depends on the situation and where they at in life.
Men are more accomodating to women that aren't necessarily their ideal
Most men don't have the options women do

Yeah, more options, which means they settle more. They have the pick of the crop.

While men, might not have the pick of the crop, and in the end be grateful for what they DO have and appreciate it and love it like its the best thing. Which is why 70% of divorce are initiated by women.

 

[onelastdeath]

How do you know his personality is a good one or whether she is attracted to him or not?

I mainly see you focusing on the looks factor.

Because women, are just as physical as men. And the American woman looks more for cash than she does looks. If this man had the best personality, but no funds to show for it, she wouldn't give him the time of day :blackye:

 

[MikelArteta]

ettling to me is to be with someone knowing they are not the best for you and you're not the best for them but you stick with them because its better than being alone .

H

 

[MercuryHayes]

I think it's hard for people to believe some people, women MOSTLY do not factor looks as much as men for long term relationships.

I HAVE seen a high number of times where women are initially with the "model" types or universally attractive men in general and didn't get treated the same way a non universally attractive man treats them.

They eventually leave that man though.

 

[Blackout]

Because women, are just as physical as men. And the American woman looks more for cash than she does looks. If this man had the best personality, but no funds to show for it, she wouldn't give him the time of day :blackye:

What about the scenario where this man has the best personality and only because of his money did she go with him?

Making sure not to settle for looks sounds a bit wrong in that you can be attracted to a 7 just like a 10.

One would think compatibility would be more important than looks.

 

[Elle Driver]

Yall are arguing semantics. There's nothing wrong with settling, it has many different definitions. It can mean getting your shyt together in life and building a family which is what most ppl try to achieve. Or it can mean just being okay with whatever you have in front of you. It's up to you where you consider settling and if you'll take that shyt in front of you and regret it or be satisfied, or move the fukk on.

 

[MikelArteta]

The danger in settling is you won't be truly satisfied. You will learn to resent the situations.

Starter husband/starter wife
Settling because of a timeline
Oh I think she's the hottest I can get.


I don't agree in settling, its selfish, its detrimental, and usually always ends bad.

 

[At30wecashout]

This is reasonable.
But wouldn't you agree that it also breeds this mentality that there's always something better? And that mentality can be the cause of a lot of unnecessary breakups and problems?

Or would you say that the mentality is a necessary evil for overall progress?

Here is the thing about that. With regards to relationships, you should always have some sort of growth within the depth
of the interactions and feelings. We aren't talking simply hypergamy or going from a beer belly to a six pack.

Striving for better should be a lifestyle in which you self improve and self discover to know what is best. A lot of people bumble
through life and take whatever comes to them, which is fine, but isn't productive if you want to reach a true state of happiness
and contentment. Not all relationships are meant to work out. The problem is people putting so much investment into so-so,
ho-hum unions and are surprised when later the feelings they thought they would get aren't there. Marriage and kids put lives
in a chokehold in which everyone pushes to make something work that simply may not.

You don't have to go on an endless search for the sweeter brand of honey, but you should explore your wants and desires enough
that when you find an acceptable flavor, you can live your life creating new recipes with it as a base instead of wandering the
grocery aisles looking for the feeling that ANY honey used to give you in the first place.