Spin for brehettes: Things men do that turn you off?

[murksiderock]

Take their mommy issues out on women

I had to grow and realize I did this. I didn't have the greatest relationship with either of my mothers, and it took me years to understand how that affected me in relationships with women I dated. It ain't no woman's job to do this for me, but would you at least have some compassion for a guy you knew didn't have the best relationships or examples of women from his mother? Would you have a little more patience?

2. Inconsiderate
4. Lack of self-control (eating habits and actions)
6. Not dependable
8. Stubborn/unwilling to compromise

2. I've been accused of this, but it's hard for me to see that this is a real problem I have. Can you explain more what you mean by this?

4. Man I'm definitely way past my impulsive stage. That was a journey for years though, I made impulsive, reckless decisions going back to my early teenage years, and at times they did carry over in relationships...

6. My kids mom accused me of this, when she had a miscarriage in '17. She 2as in the hospital being tended to, so I took our daughter and went to a drive thru and sat in the car for awhile. I was only gone for half an hour, but she used this (and other examples) to say I wasn't dependable when she really needed me. After she got out the hospital and was dealing with the emotional effects, one of her biggest beefs has been that I didn't allow her to grieve and acted like she was taking it too hard...

So she has said I was emotionally undependable. Something I do want to get better at...

8. Been accused of this, think it has been true in some, but not most cases...

[QUOTE="CinnaSlim, post: 36482205, member: 115707"0]
Lack of boundaries
[/QUOTE]

It was hard to set boundaries initially with certain family members, exes, and homegirls. If you know that is difficult for your man, do you try to help him become comfortable in doing so, instead of just jumping down his throat?

 

[pete clemenza]

Why women's lists gotta be soooooo long tho

 

[Coco Loco]

Wait, so you have your own space but you invade mine while shytting all over me and I’m supposed to ignore it. You see how ludicrous you sound

What's 100% ludicrous is that YOU read the thread title, then came in complaining about the responses. What exactly did you expect? Why are you responding with so much emotion for these random things?

 

[murksiderock]

- always wants me to make decisions
- complains all the time
- has a quick temper
- likes to argue

•let me defend the decision thing, sometimes it's just easier for you to make the decisions! I've been asked how I feel about something, I say it doesn't matter, do what you want, or pick where you want to go, because I'm literally cool with whatever the decision is! Then turn around and get labeled as not caring about anything and once got told I wasn't a man because of it lol...

There gotta be some give and take in this one!!

•I noticed the more agitated I got, the more I complained instead of ending the relationship. 100% accountability on this one...

•Temperament has gotten better with time. Don't enjoy arguing, but there are certain triggers that incite me and I haven't mastered yet how to not fall in that trap. Something I understand and am constantly seeking improvement on!

Doesn’t work out/unhealthy

I don't eat healthy enough and haven't worked out consistently since the fall. If this was important to you, i assume you do eat healthy and work out, right? So you'd be able to motivate your man to do the same?

Never been accused of this buy I know I'm not a healthy eater!

-Being too clingy/needy
-Controlling, I don't need a daddy

Only been accused of being controlling when I call out some dumb shyt, maybe once or twice. No one else called me controlling, I'm very free, accommodating, and understanding, but you also should be transparent with me, right?

I never was needy until I noticed one girl cheating, and then with my kids mom when I noticed the lack of affection. Then I was needy lmao, never outside of those two instances!

 

[7th Letter Specialist]

Referring to my last post:
Real shyt I ain't ee'n mad @ y'all. Tbh I use shyt like this as motivation. Now, I'm not saying I'm going to better myself for women, but I like to see flaws that I identify w/personally and challenge myself to be a better person. I was tryna see if there was some kinda balance

 

[murksiderock]

Obnoxious

Can you explain this? This seems like it's mostly used as an insult when she hasn't agreed with how I feel about something, rather than me actually being obnoxious...

 

[Pineal Gland]

 

[Coco Loco]

Only been accused of being controlling when I call out some dumb shyt, maybe once or twice. No one else called me controlling, I'm very free, accommodating, and understanding, but you also should be transparent with me, right?

I never was needy until I noticed one girl cheating, and then with my kids mom when I noticed the lack of affection. Then I was needy lmao, never outside of those two instances!

Nah I mean on the verge of violence and verbal abuse type of control and manipulation. I pick up on red flags immediately and know he's not for me. Had one dude literally throw a tantrum on our first phone conversation because I wouldn't break my plans to hang out with him. Mind you we met less than 24 hours before this. I didn't say I didn't want to see him, I simply asked could it not be that day. After I cussed him out, I blocked him.

Another one constantly wanted to be up under me or on the phone with me all the time. It started once we got very serious. I felt smothered, it didn't last long. shyt like that is annoying and screams insecure.

 

[GodsPerspective]

Not at the moment... but I will be very soon and my SO is none of the things I listed.. I wouldn’t be marrying him if he was.

Alright well give us an update if the situation progresses. You actually don’t seem aggressive so I can see why you have a man at least

 

[murksiderock]

Nah I mean on the verge of violence and verbal abuse type of control and manipulation. I pick up on red flags immediately and know he's not for me. Had one dude literally throw a tantrum on our first phone conversation because I wouldn't break my plans to hang out with him. Mind you we met less than 24 hours before this. I didn't say I didn't want to see him, I simply asked could it not be that day. After I cussed him out, I blocked him.

Another one constantly wanted to be up under me or on the phone with me all the time. It started once we got very serious. I felt smothered, it didn't last long. shyt like that is annoying and screams insecure.

Okay, dig! Didn't have either of those issues!

 

[Coco Loco]

Referring to my last post:
Real shyt I ain't ee'n mad @ y'all. Tbh I use shyt like this as motivation. Now, I'm not saying I'm going to better myself for women, but I like to see flaws that I identify w/personally and challenge myself to be a better person. I was tryna see if there was some kinda balance

Don't ever change who you are for anyone, let alone a woman. Do it for yourself. I'm glad you and a few others aren't emotionally bothered by some things random women say on the internet. Respect!

 

[WesCrook]

Some of these posts describe some bum ass dudes.

 

[CarmelBarbie]

•let me defend the decision thing, sometimes it's just easier for you to make the decisions! I've been asked how I feel about something, I say it doesn't matter, do what you want, or pick where you want to go, because I'm literally cool with whatever the decision is! Then turn around and get labeled as not caring about anything and once got told I wasn't a man because of it lol...

There gotta be some give and take in this one!!

•I noticed the more agitated I got, the more I complained instead of ending the relationship. 100% accountability on this one...

•Temperament has gotten better with time. Don't enjoy arguing, but there are certain triggers that incite me and I haven't mastered yet how to not fall in that trap. Something I understand and am constantly seeking improvement on!



I don't eat healthy enough and haven't worked out consistently since the fall. If this was important to you, i assume you do eat healthy and work out, right? So you'd be able to motivate your man to do the same?

Never been accused of this buy I know I'm not a healthy eater!



Only been accused of being controlling when I call out some dumb shyt, maybe once or twice. No one else called me controlling, I'm very free, accommodating, and understanding, but you also should be transparent with me, right?

I never was needy until I noticed one girl cheating, and then with my kids mom when I noticed the lack of affection. Then I was needy lmao, never outside of those two instances!

I work out 6 days a week. And at this point it’s a habit, like brushing my teeth. My experience is that a lot of people start off strong but fall off when they aren’t doing it truly for themselves and truly because it’s apart of their lifestyle(not something they do for a few months). I’m not saying breh has to be a gym head, but at the same time, someone who doesn’t value exercising, even if it’s only a few times a week, isn’t going to understand how OCD I am about it or be compatible with me.

 

[WesCrook]

....................

 

[Foxtrot]

These lists sound too generic. The kind of stuff a committee or editorial room would come up with.

Imm'a need y'all to empty the whole clip, ladies.