Spin: Should women go on dates with men they aren’t romantically interested in?

[The ADD]

How do you know if you’re open if you don’t go on the date? To me that’s the equivalent to saying you don’t like a food and you’ve never tried it. You just looked and decided.

Not that anything is wrong with that, just not how I’ve been taught to go about things. Try it and if you don’t like it’s fine.

I think you have to be generally open to the idea based on what you know. If the woman knows she’s not really interested in seeing anyone or is close to locking in with someone else then she generally should not.

I get what you mean but I’m speaking more to being receptive to the idea of it developing. I think both sides (in fairness) don’t always go into it that way.

 

[FeverPitch2]

Looking at the responses in the sex after 5 PM thread, I thought this was a less charged version of the issue.

So
1) Should women go on dates w/ men they’re not interested in?
2) If so, why?
3) At what point if any, should she have to tell the man?
4) Should the man be given the opportunity to back out when he finds out

And for the sake of argument, we’re not discussing that gray area where a woman says yes to a guy she’s on the fence about. That’s a topic for a different thread.

It depends on why she's not interested. If her reasons are immature (he's not a millionaire entrepreneur with the spirit of Pac, etc.), she needs to check herself.
It's pretty common that we form significant relationships with people that we didn't give much consideration to at first.
A first date would help you make a better decision than a knee jerk reaction. If it aint clicking after a date or two, then be clear that it's not going any further.
If there's no cooperation, the man should be smart enough to realize that and move on rather than being thirsty.

 

[Savvir]

No

 

[Rawtid]

I think you have to be generally open to the idea based on what you know. If the woman knows she’s not really interested in seeing anyone or is close to locking in with someone else then she generally should not.

I get what you mean but I’m speaking more to being receptive to the idea of it developing. I think both sides (in fairness) don’t always go into it that way.

I get what you're saying, I just don't agree with the thought process in it's totality. No one really knows what they like or want until they experience or exposed to it some kind of way. I also don't feel dating should be reserved for potential longevity. It's just hanging out with someone...doesn't have to be romantic at all.

 

[Rawtid]

Again, women know when they meet somebody whether or not they're attracted.

If they aren't attracted to a dude then they never will be for the most part, even if they decide to settle.

Doesn't mean they can't/shouldn't go on a date. I also don't feel it's settling if someone gets with someone who isn't generally considered attractive. Ugly people typically treat others well and bring more to the relationship than just being cute.

 

[The ADD]

I get what you're saying, I just don't agree with the thought process in it's totality. No one really knows what they like or want until they experience or exposed to it some kind of way. I also don't feel dating should be reserved for potential longevity. It's just hanging out with someone...doesn't have to be romantic at all.

That’s fair and it kind of goes back to my point about black/white discussions. I guess at a minimum it’s smart for both sides to lay some kind of ground work on what the situation is so there isn’t a mixup.

 

[acri1]

Doesn't mean they can't/shouldn't go on a date. I also don't feel it's settling if someone gets with someone who isn't generally considered attractive. Ugly people typically treat others well and bring more to the relationship than just being cute.

It's not about whether they're generally considered attractive, it's whether or not the particular woman sees him as unattractive.

If a woman is going out with someone she's completely unattracted to then she's most likely either using him for a meal ticket or she just thinks he's good on paper and might be the best option at the moment.

 

[Doin2Much Williams]

I take interviews for jobs I’m not interested in sometimes for practice.

but I think women do it because they say “I’m going to try something out of my comfort zone” after a string of failed relationships

If more women were open minded and left their blinders at home... i guarantee, these will be amazed/bedazzled at what lurks beyond their comfort zone. Word to Vanessa.



I've always been the first of my kind for many women... and at the end of the hour, they always appreciate the experience (and mid key, after we break up, try to find another me... but that ain't happening). .



There's only one Binye on this planet.



Kakakak.



xoxoxo

 

[Rawtid]

It's not about whether they're generally considered attractive, it's whether or not the particular woman sees him as unattractive.

If a woman is going out with someone she's completely unattracted to then she's most likely either using him for a meal ticket or she just thinks he's good on paper and might be the best option at the moment.

So just because someone isn't attracted to someone, they shouldn't date them to see if they more to offer? Attraction should be the only basis for potential longevity?

 

[BrehWyatt]

I take interviews for jobs I’m not interested in sometimes for practice.

but I think women do it because they say “I’m going to try something out of my comfort zone” after a string of failed relationships

I get what you're saying. Personally, while I understand that the general experience of job interviews is quite valuable, I've never gone on a job interview for a gig that I wasn't at least interested in having prior to said interview.

Ideally, no one should be going on dates with anybody they don't have some sort of long-term interest or aren't willing to entertain in that way. If you just want sex, then say that. If they aren't down for the cause, move around.

Realistically... a lot of people don't know what they want -- nor do they know that what they want isn't actually what they want/need -- until it hits them in the face.

 

[analog]

So just because someone isn't attracted to someone, they shouldn't date them to see if they more to offer? Attraction should be the only basis for potential longevity?

I'm ignorant as to how a woman's mind works so please humor me.

If you're going on a date then you've already had some form of interaction e.g. met on a app, at work, while shopping, etc. with the gentleman.

Am I wrong in assuming the man has either presented himself as something she'd to be interested in learning more about on a date. Or, she ain't feeling him and declines any further contact.

But if I'm reading you right, there's a gray area in the middle where the woman is still unsure and hence why she might entertain a date with a man she may or may not be interested in?

Essentially a low percentage date, where the man is throwing a hail Mary hoping something happens. You could see how men can grow to resent these low probability dates? If you string a few of these Ls together you're going to have some real disgruntled men.

 

[Rawtid]

I'm ignorant as to how a woman's mind works so please humor me.

If you're going on a date then you've already had some form of interaction e.g. met on a app, at work, while shopping, etc. with the gentleman.

Am I wrong in assuming the man has either presented himself as something she'd to be interested in learning more about on a date. Or, she ain't feeling him and declines any further contact.

But if I'm reading you right, there's a gray area in the middle where the woman is still unsure and hence why she might entertain a date with a man she may or may not be interested in?

I'm saying that lack of attraction alone, isn't enough cause to avoid going on a date and also doesn't mean the woman is simply using dude or just looking for a come up. You are not wrong to assume that SOMETHING the man has done/said causes her to go forward with a date, but again that may have nothing to do with the man being attractive.

I think men are more black and white in terms of who they choose to date/commit to. LOL there may be more gray area with women they have sex with. There are some men whose best sex came from women they weren't and will never be attracted to.

And I don't think women going on dates with ugly men and wanting nothing more, is more harmful than a men having sex with ugly women knowing they want nothing more.

 

[analog]

I'm saying that lack of attraction alone, isn't enough cause to avoid going on a date and also doesn't mean the woman is simply using dude or just looking for a come up. You are not wrong to assume that SOMETHING the man has done/said causes her to go forward with a date, but again that may have nothing to do with the man being attractive.

I think men are more black and white in terms of who they choose to date/commit to. LOL there may be more gray area with women they have sex with. There are some men whose best sex came from women they weren't and will never be attracted to.

Interesting. So what's the primary motivator for the women in that instance. She's not attracted to him, has no interest in his money. What is she looking to gain?

The male sex drive is insane. It's dudes sticking their dikks in goats. An unattractive women is a big step up anyway you put it

 

[Jazzy B.]

Women don't owe you goofies anything. So if they want to they can. If man feels like the only way he can court a woman is through expensive dinners/dates i.e buying her then it's on him if he gets played by a woman who is just looking for a free meal. That's why as a man you either be the director of your life and set the date on your terms (where you want to take her, what you want to do, how much you want to spend etc) or you be passive and reactive, get played and end up wining about it on the internet.

 

[King Poetic]

Change the thread title

More black women than black men .. they got no options

so black men are the ones who should make that determination on who we should date..