Spin: Should women go on dates with men they aren’t romantically interested in?

[Thingsfallapart]

How is someone supposed to know if they’re really interested in someone else without a date.

And even if you are initially interested that can easily change. Y’all never met someone on an app or briefly in person then realized on the first or second date they weren’t what you thought they were? Only a dumbass or a thot would fukk someone (let’s be honest, that’s really what y’all are talking about) off their first brief impression.

 

[Rawtid]

Interesting. So what's the primary motivator for the women in that instance. She's not attracted to him, has no interest in his money. What is she looking to gain?

The male sex drive is insane. It's dudes sticking their dikks in goats. An unattractive women is a big step up anyway you put it

Being treated well (usually financially spoiled) combined with personality overall. . That whole "a man should be more into you than you are them" kinda thinking". Ugly men typically treat their attractive partners very well in comparison. Look at Steve Harvey and his wife Marjorie.

 

[Dafunkdoc_Unlimited]

Fascinating when men tell women how women feel about things and what they know.​

 

[analog]

Being treated well (usually financially spoiled) combined with personality overall. . That whole "a man should be more into you than you are them" kinda thinking". Ugly men typically treat their attractive partners very well in comparison. Look at Steve Harvey and his wife Marjorie.

Damn... I'm going to go out on a limb and say these dudes are completely unaware of this particular expectation. The self aware ugly dudes may recognize this and compensate with attention, money, personality, etc.

But the rest who are operating under the assumption that there's mutual attraction, come up short on the date and get dropped.... Ouch

 

[Rawtid]

Damn... I'm going to go out on a limb and say these dudes are completely unaware of this particular expectation. The self aware ugly dudes may recognize this and compensate with attention, money, personality, etc.

But the rest who are operating under the assumption that there's mutual attraction, come up short on the date and get dropped.... Ouch

No different than men having sex with a woman they weren’t mutually attracted to. It hurts for any human to be played with emotionally.

 

[acri1]

So just because someone isn't attracted to someone, they shouldn't date them to see if they more to offer? Attraction should be the only basis for potential longevity?

If there's no attraction whatsoever initially then the chances of something working out long term is extremely low. I just don't think a date is going to make a woman suddenly attracted to someone.

And eventually someone she's attracted to WILL come along and you can imagine how that would go.

Women don't owe you goofies anything. So if they want to they can. If man feels like the only way he can court a woman is through expensive dinners/dates i.e buying her then it's on him if he gets played by a woman who is just looking for a free meal. That's why as a man you either be the director of your life and set the date on your terms (where you want to take her, what you want to do, how much you want to spend etc) or you be passive and reactive, get played and end up wining about it on the internet.

Of course women don't owe men anything.

That's why if a women is asked out by a man she's not attracted to then the most ethical thing to do is just turn him down and not go on the date, rather than string someone along she's not really into.

 

[analog]

No different than men having sex with a woman they weren’t mutually attracted to. It hurts for any human to be played with emotionally.

True... It's a cold world

 

[Weaver31]

I think women should tell men who ask them out that they know they clearly not interested in that they just going out as friends. If the woman is interested in the dude then just agree to go on date and show choosing signals or just be upfront about her interest. If she undecided...than just go on date and make ur decision by date 3.

 

[Dwolf]

The problem with the assumption in the first thread was not romantic interest but the expectation of sex.

You can have romantic interest in somebody and have no intention of exchanging fluids with them. And someone paying for dinner does not obligate that. The purpose of dating isn’t to get a free meal or fukk. It’s to get to know somebody.

So yes. A woman should date a man to get to know him romantically and sex doesn’t even need to enter the equation while that is happening. And no, the guy doesn’t/shouldn’t have to break the bank on a date.

But the idea that sex is an automatic expectation after a date is stupid.

Especially since we live in a society that also still slut shames women as less valuable for sexual experiences they may have. But that’s another topic for another time.

You can do that without the date.
Example, have a few conversations on the phone first then decide if it's worth pursuing

 

[Dafunkdoc_Unlimited]

Dudes in here focusing on the 'girl' part instead of the 'friend' part of the same word.

Fascinating.

​

 

[Rawtid]

If there's no attraction whatsoever initially then the chances of something working out long term is extremely low. I just don't think a date is going to make a woman suddenly attracted to someone.

And eventually someone she's attracted to WILL come along and you can imagine how that would go.

As a man you can’t seem to fathom dating/committing to someone you’re not attracted to, but a lot of y’all do it for sex. And way more emotional over sex than just dates.

What happens when a man finds a woman he’s actually attracted while having an ugly FWB? He pursuing the pretty without regard to the ugly woman’s feelings. That’s what happens if a woman finds a more attractive man.

Like @analog said, it’s a cold world.

 

[Jazzy B.]

If there's no attraction whatsoever initially then the chances of something working out long term is extremely low. I just don't think a date is going to make a woman suddenly attracted to someone.

And eventually someone she's attracted to WILL come along and you can imagine how that would go.



Of course women don't owe men anything.

That's why if a women is asked out by a man she's not attracted to then the most ethical thing to do is just turn him down and not go on the date, rather than string someone along she's not really into.

So what's the problem then? Why should a woman be "ethical" and turn down a free meal if she's been given that free meal just for being a woman and nothing else?. Would you turn down a raise if you were given it for no reason?. A woman using a man for free meals is no different to man keeping a woman in a "situationship" for sex when he knows he has zero plans to commit. Do you call those men out? Do you call that "unethical" I bet you don't.

 

[Hoodoo Child]

Most women know almost immediately after meeting a dude if they're interested or not.

And if the attraction isn't there then it's probably never going to be. So I don't see the point wasting anyone's time.

7 seconds is all it takes..

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

That's not the topic of this thread though.The topic is "Should women go on dates with men they aren't romantically interested in", sex wasn't mentioned.


That said if a woman already has decided she's not attracted to a man then she's not really romantically interested anyway. I don't buy that a woman would be romantically interested in someone they're unattracted to.

This thread is based off answers from the other thread that mentioned sex. That’s the only reason I addressed here…

As for the second part of your answer, what if a woman hasn’t decided. Whether you buy it or not or accept it or not, you don’t know what’s going through anyone’s head. Romantic interest isn’t immediate in a lotta cases for all people. And even when it is, you can be attracted physically to someone and then go out with them and they make you wanna crawl into a hole. Or you can feel so-so about someone and after interaction with them or conversing with them, they can grow on you.

The problem is that some men want the process of attraction to be simple and lead immediately to physical intimacy. But there’s so much that can go into that process. It’s rarely cut and dry. If you want to minimize being used then don't pay. Just express the desire to link up.

But a lot of this also is determined by what people want when it comes to dating. If you want easy sex then don’t date. Just get an escort. But if want something meaningful, you will probably have to invest time at the very least to see if the person is somebody you want to be around for a long period of time.
That’s what the dating process is literally for.

 

[Jazzy B.]

I'm ignorant as to how a woman's mind works so please humor me.

If you're going on a date then you've already had some form of interaction e.g. met on a app, at work, while shopping, etc. with the gentleman.

Am I wrong in assuming the man has either presented himself as something she'd to be interested in learning more about on a date. Or, she ain't feeling him and declines any further contact.

But if I'm reading you right, there's a gray area in the middle where the woman is still unsure and hence why she might entertain a date with a man she may or may not be interested in?

Essentially a low percentage date, where the man is throwing a hail Mary hoping something happens. You could see how men can grow to resent these low probability dates? If you string a few of these Ls together you're going to have some real disgruntled men.

Breh, why do you act like Men can't control the parameters of the dates and courting process?

If a man sets date 1 for $20 and date 2 for $40 and with those dates being something he himself truly wants to do regardless of a date, with the woman essentially just being there to tag along, then regardless if it fizzles out the man cannot lose as he has gone where he wanted and done what he wanted.

The problem is the men who complaint about being used don't know how to court women outside of money and dinner. So they go extra hard to buy their affection as opposed to building natural chemistry. They do an expensive dinner date/restaurant which they probably didn't even want to go to. This is for a woman you barely know (her personality and values might stink) hasn't even kissed you or have even had physical interaction with. But they're thinking "well if I don't take her somewhere expensive she won't want to see me or won't like me" which is the worst mindset to have with women you're just starting to date.