Staying friends with your ex...

Rekkapryde

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TYRONE GA!
Digs in the crate


If you desire drama in your life……Just stay friends with an ex, there are exceptions to every rule, but generally being friends with an ex is a horrible horrible horrible idea. I cannot fathom any circumstances where it is constructive unless you have reached the summit of peace where you can witness the ex with someone else and without an ounce of jealousy, bitterness or selfishness in your heart feel ecstatic for them and vice versa.

Reasons to never be friends with an ex.

1. Liberation of their guilt.

No one wants to be the bad person in any situation and an ex may still care about you in some capacity, so by offering friendship and you accepting the diminished role in their life the weight of guilt they feel in making that decision to dump you is lifted.

2. Just in case….

Just in case things don’t work out with the new John or Jane Doe, having the safety and security haven of an ex that in their mind is still waiting for another opportunity. So by keeping you around as a “friend” if the grass is not greener then the….Hey remember our first date when you made me laugh type stuff starts to regurgitate.

3. Encumbers the natural healing process

By continually being “friends” with an ex the seed of hope which destroys the progression of healing continues to be watered and grows. Hey my ex text/phoned/ smiled at me that must mean they still wants me. When in general that is not the case, it’s the equivalent of starting on the 11 yard line in football, heaving an 89 yard pass for a touchdown but it being nullified due to a holding penalty that is ten yards and having to now start at the one yard line. Every time you think are getting ahead, feeling good the seed of hope pops up and you end up in even a worse spot than you were before.

To wrap it up as I always like to say people who I call friends have never made me feel disconsolate nor have they demoted me in their life. Life is already too short for any added further drama or stress. Just because someone dumps you does not make them a bad person nor do you have to hate them, they did what they thought was the best decision for their life, now it is time for you to do what is the best decision for your life.

the-gospel.jpg
 

MikelArteta

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Goatganda the pearl of Africa
Oh you fell into that lie of material things and status to get thevgirl eh?

Women care how you make them feel, for low self esteem damaged women its all about that more than any type of woman the emotion highs on their harp you can play.

The discord, the drama, you don't bring that her, you don't entice her.

Its also impossible to bring a brehette like this out of the fog let them rot.

The funny thing is your here saying this and that about here, yet deep inside you still want her :dahell:

Instead of wondering why she's with that bum azz nukka, cut all ties kill the emotional connection and be happy, why would you want such a damage individual in your life even as friends.

Stop clinging to the cliff of hooe , if she was 300lbs and you just smashed when she was drunk you wouldn't listen to this ish




So me and this chick broke up and decided to remain friends. Now she is back with her old flame and he's this bum ass, no job, no car having piece of shyt who also is controlling as hell. He doesn't want her to talk to any men at all. Not say hi or nothing. shyt's crazy. I mean she let him move in with her one time and she said he didn't help her pay nothing. :what: Like why even still talk to that trash after that?

Anyway, so apparently they've been arguing a lot about her still talking to me (we work together) and on top of that they're not fukking like she wants (I wanted to say bytch you shouldn't have left me when she told me that) so she frustrated as hell and it's getting to the point where she is starting to take it out on me. She catches an attitude real quick now and I try to be nice and just say calm down but I know eventually I'm going to snap on her. What should I do? I want to stop talking to her and I don't at the same time.
 
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meth68

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So me and this chick broke up and decided to remain friends. Now she is back with her old flame and he's this bum ass, no job, no car having piece of shyt who also is controlling as hell. He doesn't want her to talk to any men at all. Not say hi or nothing. shyt's crazy. I mean she let him move in with her one time and she said he didn't help her pay nothing. :what: Like why even still talk to that trash after that?

Anyway, so apparently they've been arguing a lot about her still talking to me (we work together) and on top of that they're not fukking like she wants (I wanted to say bytch you shouldn't have left me when she told me that) so she frustrated as hell and it's getting to the point where she is starting to take it out on me. She catches an attitude real quick now and I try to be nice and just say calm down but I know eventually I'm going to snap on her. What should I do? I want to stop talking to her and I don't at the same time.

Depends on the situation.

You are either "friends" or that "other guy" don't confuse the 2.. I have been in both situations

I am friends with my ex, friends as in we talk and still chill, this is mainly because she has a daughter that became best friends with my niece while we were dating (I was around from when she was 1-6). So we keep that shyt civil, we really are friends

I have had other ex's try to be friends, friends as in, when everything is going good in their life they are MIA, when shyt is getting rough they call me..

Don't get the 2 confused that's all, but it is very possible to stay friends
 

MikelArteta

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Goatganda the pearl of Africa
The coli exception


Depends on the situation.

You are either "friends" or that "other guy" don't confuse the 2.. I have been in both situations

I am friends with my ex, friends as in we talk and still chill, this is mainly because she has a daughter that became best friends with my niece while we were dating (I was around from when she was 1-6). So we keep that shyt civil, we really are friends

I have had other ex's try to be friends, friends as in, when everything is going good in their life they are MIA, when shyt is getting rough they call me..

Don't get the 2 confused that's all, but it is very possible to stay friends
 

meth68

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The coli exception

I understand it's rare but thats why I said depends on the situation, I will break it down a little
I dated her when her daughter was only 1, my niece was 2.. We dated for 5 years. So now my 7yr old niece and her 6yr old literally became best friends..
We broke up in a mutual way, My fam likes her, her fam likes me, even to this day still trusts me with her daughter more so then her deadbeat baby father. Something unexpected will come up, (for example an uncle unexpectedly passed away) my ex's mom called me asking If I could pick up the baby cause everyone was all crying and shyt and she didn't want her being there.

So yea I don't see this as a common scenario, but I just tell people it IS possible. Most of the times not recommended but depends on situation and mind set of BOTH sides.. I had an ex try the "friend" thing and our definition of staying "Friends" was us meeting up and smashing everytime her man was away.. That's not an ideal situation lol

Good luck
 

MikelArteta

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Goatganda the pearl of Africa
Like I said the rare exception.




I understand it's rare but thats why I said depends on the situation, I will break it down a little
I dated her when her daughter was only 1, my niece was 2.. We dated for 5 years. So now my 7yr old niece and her 6yr old literally became best friends..
We broke up in a mutual way, My fam likes her, her fam likes me, even to this day still trusts me with her daughter more so then her deadbeat baby father. Something unexpected will come up, (for example an uncle unexpectedly passed away) my ex's mom called me asking If I could pick up the baby cause everyone was all crying and shyt and she didn't want her being there.

So yea I don't see this as a common scenario, but I just tell people it IS possible. Most of the times not recommended but depends on situation and mind set of BOTH sides.. I had an ex try the "friend" thing and our definition of staying "Friends" was us meeting up and smashing everytime her man was away.. That's not an ideal situation lol

Good luck
 

MikelArteta

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Goatganda the pearl of Africa
A "friend" has never demoted me in position.

Nukkaz wouldn't stay if their 100k cert job told them no more benefits and we can't pay you anymore but you can still come in and work.


But for an ex, I don't love you like that anymore, your demoted to just a friend, no touching, no sex, just here me complain but you get no benefits, nukkaz will stay and hope.

Once a woman has lost attraction to you ala viewing you as a friend its over, leave with your dignity, get over the fear of saying no.

Trust me I still have women who tried to denote me years and months later still emailing me hoping for a chance they will never get.
 

Ello_Vee

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Wishy washy women don't respect or view you as valuable without that your nothing .

Respect and being viewed as valuable is everything
YUP!
Your instinct is telling you to walk away, for your own well-being. You have to put that above hers. You can tell her, briefly, one time only, that she is on a path of destruction that is all her responsibility and doing. You have tried to be a supportive friend (I'm assuming here) and she clearly can't be your friend when she's shytting on you. So, you're out.

If you can be respectful, clear, and then OUT..... a sharp line you are not crossing and not letting her cross, then you're in a good place. You have to work with this woman, so it's not like you can put her on ignore completely. You just have to be firm on that boundary.
 
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