Successful Women Are Unhappy That They Have To Date Down

[Gold]

What did she say that was a turnoff? I have to admit that I did not watch the entire video.

For me personally, anyone who brings an unprovoked antagonistic approach to the idea of a reltionship is someone who i avoided like the plague.

All of us are hurt people. Every single person has been hurt in a relationship, i dont care who you are. But if you havent dealt with that, you dont need to be getting in another relationship imo.

When my fellow Vandy Alum is saying shyt like "I can do bad by myself"... thats a mental turnoff to a man seeking a relationship. Sounds like something someone in a bad relationship says as a justification to go back to being single.


There would be a lot less bad relationship if single-minded people were comfortable being single. Too many ppl who are focused on being single are out here getting in relationships.

 

[seabreeze80]

For me personally, anyone who brings an unprovoked antagonistic approach to the idea of a reltionship is someone who i avoided like the plague.

All of us are hurt people. Every single person has been hurt in a relationship, i dont care who you are. But if you havent dealt with that, you dont need to be getting in another relationship imo.

When my fellow Vandy Alum is saying shyt like "I can do bad by myself"... thats a mental turnoff to a man seeking a relationship. Sounds like something someone in a bad relationship says as a justification to go back to being single.


There would be a lot less bad relationship if single-minded people were comfortable being single. Too many ppl who are focused on being single are out here getting in relationships.

I don't think that women who say "I can do bad all by myself" are single minded. They have the mentality that if they can't get what they want then they would rather be alone. Being alone isn't what they want. They desire someone who fulfills their list of expectations. I never hear men say this but I have no problem with the women who say it. I believe these women would end up forcing their expectations onto men that can't fulfill them and end up making the men miserable. So they might as well be alone if they can't get what they want. If they compromise they would just end up making themselves and the men who are with them miserable.

 

[Mowgli]

It's funny because the women who want to date up are looking for men who want to date down

 

[Krisrunner2049]

It's funny because the women who want to date up are looking for men who want to date down

My professor is this. She’s fresh out of graduate school with $60k in student loans haha

 

[DatBoiHawk]

Being educated, having a good job doesn’t equal that you are a quality woman

That’s why many of these women don’t have rings on their finger, because men look beyond being educated and having a good job

just another bullshyt media push

Facts...they don’t understand that for some reason we don’t look for the same qualities that they look for. I’ll take a cute chick that work in McDonald’s if she’s a good woman

 

[#1 pick]

For me personally, anyone who brings an unprovoked antagonistic approach to the idea of a reltionship is someone who i avoided like the plague.

All of us are hurt people. Every single person has been hurt in a relationship, i dont care who you are. But if you havent dealt with that, you dont need to be getting in another relationship imo.

When my fellow Vandy Alum is saying shyt like "I can do bad by myself"... thats a mental turnoff to a man seeking a relationship. Sounds like something someone in a bad relationship says as a justification to go back to being single.


There would be a lot less bad relationship if single-minded people were comfortable being single. Too many ppl who are focused on being single are out here getting in relationships.

Women like her are the worse, they will convince you there are no good men but they have an attitude that I don't need them. If you don't need them, why do you care if there are good men, bad men or quality men out there, you aren't really open or looking?

Toxic masculinity is real but toxic femininity is just as dangerous. Let's just call this what it is. TOXIC behavior in general.

 

[#1 pick]

@Gold, I remember when I was dating, I was always looking. Everywhere, every time, all of the time. As I had more to lose and I got smarter, I just became more decisive with what I wanted. Women like her were so easy to cross off the list. One date and that was all I needed to see this wasn't it. Call me, text me, message me but you won't get a response.

 

[Bondye Vodou]

I don’t care if a woman has 5 degrees from 3 Ivy League schools. If she is an insufferable, narcissistic, complaining bytch on wheels I, as well as any man with dignity and self worth, don’t wanna be around her. I’ll hang with the woman with a high school diploma who is kind, sweet, thoughtful, funny asf, and isn’t afraid to be feminine and leave the masculine energy in the relationship to me.

women are projecting. They see men only as walking ATMs and look at men mostly for what they can do for them financially. Men aren’t like that. Most of us just want a good woman. Someone who we enjoy being around. We can work out the other shyt. But, if I don’t like being around you because of your fukked up attitude and your resting bytch face or your obsession with materialistic shyt or your untrustworthiness, then ain’t shyt to talk about. bytch, you can find the next sucker willing to put up with your shyt. Because it won’t be me.

There’s nothing wrong with being accomplished. But when you use those accomplishments as a weapon and you think those accomplishments give you a lifelong pass to be a pretentious, arrogant c*nt, then bytch. See if those degrees can rub your feet, cuddle with you, listen to your problems and fears after a stressful day, impregnate you, kill that spider, or get up and grab a baseball bat when there’s a bump in the night

 

[Gold]

I don't think that women who say "I can do bad all by myself" are single minded. They have the mentality that if they can't get what they want then they would rather be alone. Being alone isn't what they want. They desire someone who fulfills their list of expectations. I never hear men say this but I have no problem with the women who say it. I believe these women would end up forcing their expectations onto men that can't fulfill them and end up making the men miserable. So they might as well be alone if they can't get what they want. If they compromise they would just end up making themselves and the men who are with them miserable.

I disagree, but you are a woman so you have a unique insight that i do not. Women who say that may not be single-minded,as you have explained.

However, as a man, thats what we hear. Same as when a woman says, "i dont need a man for nothing" or "Men need to do x,y,z" etc etc. You may be right, but many relationship minded men are going to be turned off by that. It sounds like someone who wants certain aspects of a relationship but not the total package and all that comes with it.

Lemme flip the script. If i said things like "Women need to learn how to be real women and take care of their men" or "im a grown ass man i dont need a women for nothing"....

Would you say that man is relationship-minded or single-minded?


We gotta be honest with ourselves. Or we can continue to lie to ourselves and wonder why we are alone

 

[#1 pick]

I disagree, but you are a woman so you have a unique insight that i do not. Women who say that may not be single-minded,as you have explained.

However, as a man, thats what we hear. Same as when a woman says, "i dont need a man for nothing" or "Men need to do x,y,z" etc etc. You may be right, but many relationship minded men are going to be turned off by that. It sounds like someone who wants certain aspects of a relationship but the total package and all that comes with it.

Lemme flip the script. If i said things like "Women need to learn how to be real women and take care of their men" or "im a grown ass man i dont need a women for nothing"....

Would you say that man is relationship-minded or single-minded?


We gotta be honest with ourselves. Or we can continue to lie to ourselves and wonder why we are alone

It's hard to understand that a lot of these bad habits that we learn while dating has to be nipped in the bud during a serious relationship just to get to marriage. If it's not, you might be wasting your time.

 

[Gold]

@Gold, I remember when I was dating, I was always looking. Everywhere, every time, all of the time. As I had more to lose and I got smarter, I just became more decisive with what I wanted. Women like her were so easy to cross off the list. One date and that was all I needed to see this wasn't it. Call me, text me, message me but you won't get a response.

Exactly the same for me breh. Obviously im married now, but prior to that, i would litterally be done with a woman who said anything like that even once.

She may be cool, she may be beautiful, but im not pursuing her for a relationship if her mindset is "i dont need a man, i can do bad by myself, men need to step up, etc."

Like damn breh, shyt is an automatic turn off. As soon as i hear it... nope.

 

[#1 pick]

Exactly the same for me breh. Obviously im married now, but prior to that, i would litterally be done with a woman who said anything like that even once.

She may be cool, she may be beautiful, but im not pursuing her for a relationship if her mindset is "i dont need a man, i can do bad by myself, me need to step up, etc."

Like damn breh, shyt is an automatic turn off. As soon as i hear it... nope.

What women like her and women, in general, don't understand is, what Frances Cress-Welsing said is true. Most Black folks (Men and Women) doesn't matter where you are from aren't ready for marriage till our late 20s and early 30s. Once we are ready, BM and BW have a more level playing field. We all been hurt before and got some type of baggage, even the ones who were never hurt before. But there are negative and positive traits. When you are showcasing too many or you are showing obvious red flags, you will get canceled quick. Not even get any dikk, just canceled.

Women like this one in the OP has to be better. She wears her emotions on her sleeves. She really thinks she's in the right mentally, @junie even cosigned her which I found to be interesting. Women like her were in my dating market. I remember dating women like her. They wanted someone like us, it seemed like a good look. 6'4+, handsome, nice, and good family and working on a career. Then she starts making demands....

I don't believe a woman is supposed to pay for nothing in a relationship.
I also believe a man has to pay all of the bills
A real man does ...
I like my men like...
My dad was like this to me
I hope the man I marry is like that to me as he was to me and my mother

My ex was like this but I want something different... Wait, you mean you never really dated my type before, "good looking, of course"
You know what, I gotta go volunteer at the church tomorrow and help a friend move-in to their new apartment. It was nice getting to know you, I'll reach back out when I get the chance.
"Hugs"... Her How I fukk this one up? Ain't no good man wants me. That nikka was probably gay anyway. Can't trust them chruch nikkas.

 

[Gold]

"Hugs"... Her How I fukk this one up? Ain't no good man wants me. That nikka was probably gay anyway. Can't trust them chruch nikkas.

 

[#1 pick]

Exactly the same for me breh. Obviously im married now, but prior to that, i would litterally be done with a woman who said anything like that even once.

She may be cool, she may be beautiful, but im not pursuing her for a relationship if her mindset is "i dont need a man, i can do bad by myself, men need to step up, etc."

Like damn breh, shyt is an automatic turn off. As soon as i hear it... nope.

When I didn't have shyt, I would take on the challenge but I wasn't about shyt either so it was like I was going to waste her time and rightfully so. When I wanted marriage for real, I didn't play those kiddie games and I expected the same from her or she got checked instantly.

 

[Luke Cage]

Most people who are successful usually have to date down.

Guys are more ok with that than women

Correct,
in fact it makes no difference to me.