Suicide of a Black Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress and racism

[Shadow]

I hate that he left his wife and two kids behind like that.

You'll always get get people saying "That's soft", "Man up", "You're weak" to people with depression and suicidal thoughts. They get mocked and made to feel lesser.

Calling a suicidal person "weak" does nothing but encourage that person to kill themselves. People spout the same shyt as if your judgment of them matters, you really think they care that you called them weak? Why do you think your opinion of a dead person matters so much? If that same person went to you for help, talking about their problems, feeling hopeless and suicidal you wouldn't offer anything of substance.

Nobody knows how long this dude has been fighting off the suicidal thoughts, could have been an internal struggle for years. Black people are always expected to be the strongest people on earth. To the point where others won't even offer support when you feel down, they'll mock you instead.

 

[cjlaw93]

He is from Atlanta...this happened in San Fran

He should've moved back once it started getting stressful

 

[ColdCutKing]

That's what happened.

He was dealing with all that shyt and had nobody to lean on. He bottled all that shyt in.

Couldn't express it to his wife. Had he talked about quitting a $170k job, she probably would have hit him with the

No Black colleagues around with whom he could relate.

HR is not an option. They'd label him, which would follow him the rest of his career.

Breh looked around and felt hopeless.

QFE

Most of you Coli friends saying there's more to the story likely haven't worked among cacs and other non-Blacks at these big tech companies.

Uber's culture is already under fire for its treatment of women.

Can you imagine what the culture is like for Black men?

In other industries such as finance, consumer goods, etc., diversity programs have been in place since the 1970s. Although they still have a long way to go, there is at least some form of support for Black people at companies in those industries.

In the tech industry, companies are way behind in terms of creating enviroments in which people other than cacs and asians can thrive and reach their full potential.

Cac and Asian hiring managers bring preconceived notions to the table about Black intelligence in their interactions with Black tech talent. Whether it is in the recruting/hiring process or in the day-to-day activities on the job in terms of project assignments, performance reviews, etc.

And if a breh is actually good at what he does, a lot of those cacs and asians feel threatened and will work to undermine.

Breh just couldn't cope with such a toxic environment.

We need some Black tech companies.

QFE

If you're in predominantly white spaces and don't know how to maneuver the politics, YOU WILL BREAK.

shyt is really like that scene from Get Out when dude runs upstairs and everybody downstairs gets quiet.

QFE

Some cats don't understand what goes on at these type of gigs. Black men get targeted at jobs like this systematically harassed, poor reviews, unreasonable workloads, undermining, sabotage, etcetera.

Then when dude cracks or can't meet a deadline they'll be like: See told you they were lazy, couldn't get the job done, just not cut out for this position so they can fire his ass and bring in another cac or some asian visa worker who'll work for 10 bucks an hour. Then when HR asks they'll say "We tried but the African American guy just couldn't handle the stress."

Some people can handle it if you c00n hard enough they may let you live but if they detect any modicum of pride they are going to make it a point to try and make an example out of you for the other 5 nikkas that work there if they ever consider stepping out of line.

We need stronger communities and support systems. This is a huge loss this family is going to be devastated probably never recover from this shyt.

Don't agree with suicide but I guess he was disappointed with reality. He finally "made it" black engineer working at uber bringing in 170k a year and he still getting the nikka treatment like he is a janitor or some shyt.

 

[Hard Times Nakamura]

I used to think like this especially when one of my closest friends committed that at age of 26. Dude was a naval academy graduate standout, played football there. Had a dream to be a fighter pilot. He went to take the test. His scores were good but weren't high enough for fighter school but easily high enough to get any other 6figure aircraft-related job. He committed that on new years day in his room while his family was out shopping. Me and the homies were pissed. we said wtf. how could he be so selfish. his whole life ahead of him. with the naval academy credentials he could go wherever he wanted. He had a fiance he was about to marry. He had a little brother and sister who look up to him. His parents were so proud of him. The look in his mom's eyes at his funeral was something I would never wish upon my worst enemy.

One day a psychologist breh broke it down to me. When you are in that mental state. For someone who is at the brink of suicide, it means the mental pain and anguish is SO great that it just overrides everything else. It overrides all logical thinking. Any type of normal reasonable rationale is gone. all that "how could you do something so selfish to your family" stuff goes out the window. Before yall bash this dead man or call him cowardice or p*ssy and all that shyt. It's so easy to pop shyt looking at it from the outside. You better pray you never end up in that mental state, because that shyt can happen to anyone. Mental health is real brehs. And black folks need to get off that "just man up" shyt.

They've never seen the line.

Those who haven't crossed that line and managed to find a way back at least twice without external intervention will never comprehend.

Your true purpose and desires reveal themselves and enable you to pull yourself back up, God help you if those attachments aren't strong enough.

To even be able to know what happened you have to have some serious spiritual training. Most of us focus too much on Religion and not enough on internal spiritual growth. Who are we really?

We are simply the sum of our unique selfish desires and perspectives.

He should've moved back once it started getting stressful

Unfortunately we'll never know likely if he already proposed that. I highly doubt that the Wife would have been down with that at the end of the day. Women say one thing for the public and papers and another thing behind closed doors.

 

[thatrapsfan]

Most of the brehs in this thread probably work in retail or some other job with more diversity.

They'd never understand.

While I do not condone what the man did, we did not walk in his shoes. There's no telling what type of shyt he had to put up with.

Leaving a family behind to mourn. I hope this story will encourage other people who work in hostile and challenging environments to voice their concerns.

Looks like you picked up some of the sector's condescension.

 

[TRUEST]

Plus 170k in San fran isn't all that much. Maybe like 60-70k anywhere else. He wasn't that rich. Im in tech but I don't particularly care for the culture out there, he should have stayed in Atlanta tbh. Atl is gonna be the black san fran in 10 years or so (imo)

This is one of the reasons why I tell nikkas to work on getting their own business going, even if it nets you $1 a year, you need an exit strategy, that's the major leagues out there.

totally agree.

while suicide is never a good option, dude probably couldnt endure the thought of being seen as a failure should he get fired. and yes, if a company is going through layoffs, they usually start with those who make the most money. unless u are really technical and not a manager, u could be next in line.

but folks need to start their own business. like u said, even if it nets them a very insignificant amount a year, its something. if one, two or three people can pay for what your selling, i assure u there are multitudes out there who are willing to pay as well.

relying on folks (that mostly prefer not to hire ur black ass) is a very sh1tty way live.

 

[VertigoKnight]

It's a whole bundle of issues. His management team probably grinded him down. Set him and his team tasks that he struggled to complete. a proud man would try his professional best to do. Having friends who are programmers it's a very hard job you have to be on your 'A' game for the whole day the fact they apparently had this guy doing especially long hours is foul. You'll sometimes be problem solving multiple issues at once and people are expecting you to come up with solutions for sometimes very complex issues. That plus corporate pressure to get things done asap, it must have been crushing saying you can't do something. Would professionally be humiliating.

He was also probably scared that if he quit especially if he been unable to complete what sounds like impossible projects within their timeframe, his references would be saying how he was a lackluster worker, etc. For the kind of job he was doing it's not as simple as leaving a job and walking to another one at that salary. It's often multiple interviews over weeks, and oftentimes a few months wait for an offer. Now imagine you apply for 7 jobs how long is he going to be waiting? That plus from the sounds of it he was in no good mind to go through that process

It's always hard to say what you'd personally do in that situation. RIP to him anyway and hopefully his family gets some closure and financial support.

 

[Oran "Juice" Jones]

ZKG bounce from job to job whenever we want. Your boss is a dikk head? Tell him to fukk himself, then find a new job.

Having a family means putting your ego aside and doing what's best for them. It's not easy to just up and leave a job when you have mouths to feed, and you've invested so much time and energy into it. I sympathize with the breh cus I know I couldn't handle that kind of stress. But I would've shot up the office first.

RIP

 

[Hard Times Nakamura]

It's a whole bundle of issues. His management team probably grinded him down. Set him and his team tasks that he struggled to complete. a proud man would try his professional best to do. Having friends who are programmers it's a very hard job you have to be on your 'A' game for the whole day the fact they apparently had this guy doing especially long hours is foul. You'll sometimes be problem solving multiple issues at once and people are expecting you to come up with solutions for sometimes very complex issues. That plus corporate pressure to get things done asap, it must have been crushing saying you can't do something. Would professionally be humiliating.

He was also probably scared that if he quit especially if he been unable to complete what sounds like impossible projects within their timeframe, his references would be saying how he was a lackluster worker, etc. For the kind of job he was doing it's not as simple as leaving a job and walking to another one at that salary. It's often multiple interviews over weeks, and oftentimes a few months wait for an offer. Now imagine you apply for 7 jobs how long is he going to be waiting? That plus from the sounds of it he was in no good mind to go through that process

It's always hard to say what you'd personally do in that situation. RIP to him anyway and hopefully his family gets some closure and financial support.

Repped, this is exactly the situation 100%.

Anyone who says otherwise has never been in CACorporate Amerikkka

 

[Just like bruddas]

Don't mean to be harsh on the brother and I don't know all the details but it's pretty selfish to kill your self when you have such a family. If you're being bullied or facing racism just quit and look for a new job. Obviously as a highly talented black engineer I doubt he'd have been jobless for long.

you'd be surprised.

 

[TRUEST]

It's a whole bundle of issues. His management team probably grinded him down. Set him and his team tasks that he struggled to complete. a proud man would try his professional best to do. Having friends who are programmers it's a very hard job you have to be on your 'A' game for the whole day the fact they apparently had this guy doing especially long hours is foul. You'll sometimes be problem solving multiple issues at once and people are expecting you to come up with solutions for sometimes very complex issues. That plus corporate pressure to get things done asap, it must have been crushing saying you can't do something. Would professionally be humiliating.

He was also probably scared that if he quit especially if he been unable to complete what sounds like impossible projects within their timeframe, his references would be saying how he was a lackluster worker, etc. For the kind of job he was doing it's not as simple as leaving a job and walking to another one at that salary. It's often multiple interviews over weeks, and oftentimes a few months wait for an offer. Now imagine you apply for 7 jobs how long is he going to be waiting? That plus from the sounds of it he was in no good mind to go through that process

It's always hard to say what you'd personally do in that situation. RIP to him anyway and hopefully his family gets some closure and financial support.

also, people tend to forget how humuliating it is to have to tell your wife that u got fired or dont have a job. its not a situation most men want to ever be in.

like dude from a few posts said, guys, find u a business of ur own!!!! all that time u spend d1ccking around after work, spend at least a quarter of it bettering ur chances in life.

 

[the cac mamba]

Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress

i cant comment on his situation. but to leave them behind like that? damn

 

[BlackStarLine]

Be mentally ill brehs

Blame racism brehs

Those two things aren't mutually exclusive.

 

[badtguy]

It's a whole bundle of issues. His management team probably grinded him down. Set him and his team tasks that he struggled to complete. a proud man would try his professional best to do. Having friends who are programmers it's a very hard job you have to be on your 'A' game for the whole day the fact they apparently had this guy doing especially long hours is foul. You'll sometimes be problem solving multiple issues at once and people are expecting you to come up with solutions for sometimes very complex issues. That plus corporate pressure to get things done asap, it must have been crushing saying you can't do something. Would professionally be humiliating.

He was also probably scared that if he quit especially if he been unable to complete what sounds like impossible projects within their timeframe, his references would be saying how he was a lackluster worker, etc. For the kind of job he was doing it's not as simple as leaving a job and walking to another one at that salary. It's often multiple interviews over weeks, and oftentimes a few months wait for an offer. Now imagine you apply for 7 jobs how long is he going to be waiting? That plus from the sounds of it he was in no good mind to go through that process

It's always hard to say what you'd personally do in that situation. RIP to him anyway and hopefully his family gets some closure and financial support.

I agree but that no reason to kill yourself. I dont know these cacs or blacks or asians from a can a paint. There is absolutely nothing anyone can say or do to me at my job that will have me ready to end my life. Work is work. I dont see how people get to the point where the job is unbearable. Im at my job now comfortable cool director, great position but I'm ready to roll out start my own shyt.

 

[AlainLocke]

Just curious, what level of personal struggle do you think excuses killing yourself and leaving your wife and 2 kids behind

Not trying to get at you, just curious

Persistent unbearable pain...

Going to prison for life...

Shaming your family doing some extremely shady shyt...