The Awkward, Black Boy Nerd and Why He Deserves a Chance
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ezrathegreat
Veteran
No one us entitled to date you, just as she passed on black male nerds in the past, they can pass on her know.
CinnaSlim
Queen of Swords
I was just having a conversation about insecure women with a friend yesterday. I actually also talked about men's insecurity in another convo. Most, if not everyone is insecure about something. We as human beings are not imperfect and constantly striving for greatness, or at least we should be.Men want more too. This is not against you personally but your general life perspective on Men is shared and very common among American Women of the Millennial Me, Me, Me Generation
Why would I as a secure Man want an insecure Woman fukking up my vibe?
People in misery should bond with each other they are both undergoing the same process. I am beyond that phase and not in the habit of lending a "helping hand" to females in distress this is not the chivalry era anymore. American Women are strong, independent and fearless
Ever heard of the phrase "Equally yoked" well many Women have forgotten it and choose to either sleep with a thug beneath them or try and tag along and be a kept Woman to a Man who is 10x above their level then wanna wonder why he is cheating with Ms. Power Lady because they thought they could "Level Up" and instead are just riding on his coattails
No Man has room for luggage in his life either shape up or ship da fukk outIn 2015 it's not a Man's job to make his Woman "better" in America - that's why so many Women are unhappy is they try and lock down a superior nikka and end up getting curved
Once again people on this sight tend to take things to extremes. Life is not a dichotomy. I guess it's because talking about the healthy middle is boring?
A healthy relationship should help you grow, both people, not one or the other. Men and women are different and want different things. So if I would like a man who can lead the family, I will look for leadership traits. If a man wants a woman who will take the supportive role, he will look for supportive traits. I am naturally submissive and leading isn't my ideal role. Doesn't have to be extreme where I am someone's dead weight. I will be second in command of the family.
There should be balance between the couple. A relationship should be supportive, you should both be nourishing it so that it will continue to prosper. All the responsibility doesn't have to be on one person's shoulders. Traditionally, the man is the head of the household, and the woman is the heart. The man deals with the external, protecting the family and providing resources, while the woman deals with the internal, creating a family, maintaining peace and a happy home.
EpicStoryTeller
Blazé Blazé
Remember the saying stay in your lane? If you are introverted you should probably find someone who is also intro.Nothing wrong with wanting a leader but a lot of men these days don't want a chick with insecurities either. Find someone who's on the same wavelength and not someone who is opposite.
CinnaSlim
Queen of Swords
There is nothing wrong with wanting to surround yourself with people who are going to uplift you. In fact, that is reccommended. People complain about crabs in a bucket yet you choose to be with people who pull you down.
Complain about people who dont want you brehs. Focus on those who do. Love those who love you.
Instead, people act like they cant move forward because they are too busy looking back. Maybe men should surround themselves with women who make them better as well?
I restate because I know some didnt get it the first few times, the focus is not on material, depreciating, gains; but values and wisdom that you can take with you and that will last.
Complain about people who dont want you brehs. Focus on those who do. Love those who love you.
Instead, people act like they cant move forward because they are too busy looking back. Maybe men should surround themselves with women who make them better as well?
I restate because I know some didnt get it the first few times, the focus is not on material, depreciating, gains; but values and wisdom that you can take with you and that will last.
CinnaSlim
Queen of Swords
No one is perfect. Everyone is unique. To live is to grow.
What does introverted have to do with insecurities? Extroverted people can also be insecure; also leaders can be introverted so your post confuses me.
I say find someone who complements you. They don't necessarily have to be the same. Sometimes, the introvert can be the one who helps an extrovert learn to slow down and relax, or the extrovert can bring an introvert of out his or her shell. Everyone can be beneficial and bring something to the table. In fact, variety in life is the most beneficial because without change and challenges, progress and growth get stunted. Get out of your comfort zone.
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Reginald Noble
Banned
The thing is I am looking for a young nikka to mentor and support me in my career (handle the executional tasks so I can take on the strategy ) while I give him the tools to succeed to get to the next level.
When it comes to other Men I can uplift my Juniors because Men understand that it is a give and take - While Women sometimes through their nature get into the habit of just taking and taking for granted because "I am the Man and Provider"
The reality is what you seek no longer exists - And if it does it's only for the Top 10% of Men who can afford to just have a female that isn't contributing mentally or financially. I understand you said you will be 2nd in command but does a modern day Woman really understand what that means?
The reality is it means holding the family down while the Man is out of town on business trips making the family money. It means holding him down inbetween job contracts and hustling to find your own work to support the family. It means comforting him when the stresses of work get to be overwhelming and if he's a nikka - helping him stay strong in the face of racism in business and on the job in general.
I don't think many Black American Women are ready to go to War like their grandmothers did. My Grandmother is 80 years old this year and the last of a dying breed who stayed with her husband until death did they part. But she was one of many who did that so does not view herself as exceptional or unique in that regard for that generation.
I just don't feel most American Women are cut out to be a stay at home Wife they don't have the intangibles, the home making skills, the psychological endurance, the discipline or the desire. Many Women today have masculine traits and want to go out and conquer. I know that you said you want to be submissive but it's not in your programming. From very young you've been told subconsciously you need to be Sasha Fierce. And not just you individually, all American Women.
mortuus est
Veteran
aint that the truthIt happens, sometimes you just have to get what you can, instead of what you want...
told myself a few years ago i aint never getting them 5 star Brazilian chicks lusting over me
Reginald Noble
Banned
told myself a few years ago i aint never getting them 5 star Brazilian chicks lusting over me
They are the one night only mistresses
You bust a nut and that is all there is to their utility 
CinnaSlim
Queen of Swords
I just told you and many others... over and over in this thread... what it is that I mean. So I will not explain myself again. You have it in your mind that women do not want to contribute, when I've already told you I do. So I won't try to convince you, that's your opinion.
Also, do you even know what/who Sasha Fierce is? lol. Sasha Fierce is an alter ego, Beyonce's warrior paint, her superhero cape. When Beyonce has to perform, when she has to put her game face on, she calls that Sasha Fierce. Sasha Fierce isnt some man hating Amazon. Sasha Fierce is part of Beyonce, not the whole. Just like Bruce Wayne and Batman, Clark Kent and Superman. Beyonce is married woman, a mother and a feminist. She doesnt hate men or not contribute in her relationship. Sasha Fierce is how Beyonce goes to war for her family like you say your grandmother did. She goes to work and she gets shyt done.
EpicStoryTeller
Blazé Blazé
You said yourself you're submissive, are you not an introvert? you come off as one through your post.
Reginald Noble
Banned
Most Women see Sasha Fierce and interpret it as an excuse to be loud, obnoxious, "fab" and whatever other adjective you cane come up with. They act like they are runway models and believe the aggressive mentality is appropriate for all situations including relations with their significant other "Babe I'm just expressing myself" is a common retort for American Women when they don an attitude while out with their Man in public and begin requesting outlandish things, acting belligerent and attracting attention to themselves or getting into a funk because it's that time of the month.
Maybe individually you see Olivia Pope an actor, or Taraji Henderson - But most Women see Cookie Lyon and the persona and attribute any bad behavior they may display individually to being acceptable because their own interpretation of "Sasha" "Cookie" or whoever "Would approve". The "Cult of Bey" membership for example - Perhaps you should take a look at their ranks - Likely there are many Women you have associated with in the past who fit the average member's description. But many are indeed Bi-polar FYI.
The fact is the female "role models" and "archetypes" out there are a slippery slope that promote the worst attributes in Women such as parading indecisiveness as "sensitivity for others and being accommodating" and making the wrong decisions and coming back with the excuse "I'm only a Woman". A convenient fall back when the facade curtain drops and the charades are seen through.
The reason why Black Nerds can't get laid - Is because these archetypes in media do not engage with them on set. Plain and simple. And they engage in risky behaviors that don't appeal to Black nerds. It's the same reason you need a "Strong Man in Charge". No matter how he became it - Because it's exactly what you've been told is a Man by "Black" Hollywood.
MrPentatonic
Superstar
Promiscuity & not being a squeaky clean law abiding citizen have never been negatives in the dating world. & Worthwhile interests are all relative.If you cant portray it interestingly, it wont matter at al.
Confidence (in yourself, your interests etc.) & assertiveness make a man of quality. Biologically its what people are attracted to.
All that other shyt will have you being unhappy and lost in the sauce when you find out that its not as highly rated as it is in your head
Reginald Noble
Banned
Hard to be confident in your uniqueness, skills or hobbies when you've been told from a young age that your interests are not acceptable by the mainstream.
Most "nerds" don't come into their own until their 30's and become comfortable with this - But regardless that doesn't mean they then have to lower their standards to single moms and leftovers. So the only option left for them at this stage is to explore foreign terrain.
So you can either engage Nerds earlier in life to keep them available for Women who'd otherwise choose Bobby Big Knuckles
or you accept the fact that for Black Americans in particular - We are effectively giving our best and brightest away to other races or nationalities (as they may potentially relocate abroad and feel more accepted in another culture that values intelligence, sophistication and "nerdier" hobbies) The reason I was able to lose my virginity at a young age despite being into Anime was because my interests were also varied and I liked Reggaeton which is very conducive to sex, particularly with Latinas
- But even so, Latin Women are usually more accepting of a Man's interests that may not appeal to her vs. Black American Women. I occupied the space between a nerd and between a thug as a teen (no not "normal"/"average" because the average joe does not mix interests from both sides) so I believe myself to have a clear view of both and the drawbacks and benefits.