The feminization of black men

[Ashley Banks]

https://www.google.com/amp/nypost.c...-all-themselves-so-why-are-we-so-unhappy/amp/

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/289511

Happiness lost

Each year since 1972, the United States General Social Survey has asked men and women: “How happy are you, on a scale of 1 to 3, with 3 being very happy, and 1 being not too happy?” This survey includes a representative sample of men and women of all ages, education levels, income levels, and marital status—1,500 per year for a total of almost 50,000 individuals thus far—and so it gives us a most reliable picture of what’s happened to men’s and women’s happiness over the last few decades.

As you can imagine, a survey this massive generates a multitude of findings, (see the full report by Wharton Professors Betsy Stevenson and Justin Wolfers) but here are the two most important discoveries.

First, since 1972, women’s overall level of happiness has dropped, both relative to where they were forty years ago, and relative to men. You find this drop in happiness in women regardless of whether they have kids, how many kids they have, how much money they make, how healthy they are, what job they hold, whether they are married, single or divorced, how old they are, or what race they are. (The one and only exception: African-American women are now slightly happier than they were back in 1972, although they remain less happy than African American men.)

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/1098023

The Paradox of Declining Female Happiness

This doesn't change anything.

 

[HellRell804]

This doesn't change anything.

Women are unhappy. They were sold a dream that by being more like men they would be more liberated and happy. In reality, they entered a world of cut throat competition and massive stress. Men are equipped to handle that stress for the most part, but for optimal performance they still need the empathetic, nurturing spirit of women. Instead women were made the competition, in fact, due to their compliance, lack of risk taking, and pliability, women are favored over men except for the cases where men undeniably over perform. That's why an office can be full of women but the top levels are overwhelmingly male. your proverbial "glass ceiling".

So unless you're in the top 10% of men who can make the world bend to their will, or an incredibly attractive woman who can use her looks to escape the rat race and get one of those top 10% men, everyone else is unhappy

 

[Ashley Banks]

Women are unhappy. They were sold a dream that by being more like men they would be more liberated and happy. In reality, they entered a world of cut throat competition and massive stress. Men are equipped to handle that stress for the most part, but for optimal performance they still need the empathetic, nurturing spirit of women. Instead women were made the competition, in fact, due to their compliance, lack of risk taking, and pliability, women are favored over men except for the cases where men undeniably over perform. That's why an office can be full of women but the top levels are overwhelmingly male.

So unless you're in the top 10% of men who can make the world bend to their will, or an incredibly attractive woman who can use her looks to escape the rat race and get one of those top 10% men, everyone else is unhappy

You find this drop in happiness in women regardless of whether they have kids, how many kids they have, how much money they make, how healthy they are, what job they hold, whether they are married, single or divorced, how old they are, or what race they are.

So if all of what you're saying is true, what does this mean? Because I'm reading it as people are just unhappy.

 

[HellRell804]

So if all of what you're saying is true, what does this mean? Because I'm reading it as people are just unhappy.

People are unhappy. And they try to fill this void of unhappiness with useless consumer goods, and poisonous media.

A woman is happiest being the nurturer and emotional backbone of a family and men are happiest being the provider.

The propoganda set in that men ruled with an iron fist and disregarded woman, but anyone blessed enough to have old school style grandparents knew that even though she didn't earn a single dime, grandma had just as much sway over the family as grandpa. She was the top influence. So even though grandpa had the final word, it was heavily influenced by grandma

 

[Ashley Banks]

People are unhappy. And they try to fill this void of unhappiness with useless consumer goods, and poisonous media

That's why I said it doesn't change anything. People are just unhappy.

 

[Ashley Banks]

People are unhappy. And they try to fill this void of unhappiness with useless consumer goods, and poisonous media.

A woman is happiest being the nurturer and emotional backbone of a family and men are happiest being the provider.

The propoganda set in that men ruled with an iron fist and disregarded woman, but anyone blessed enough to have old school style grandparents knew that even though she didn't earn a single dime, grandma had just as much sway over the family as grandpa. She was the top influence. So even though grandpa had the final word, it was heavily influenced by grandma

I didn't see the bold, but what about women that had goals and dreams outside of being the "nurturer and emotional backbone"? I wouldn't be happy with that being my only purpose and I know a ton of women that feel that way. That's why I never agree with these types of threads because you guys try to make it seem like women should all be one way and any woman that doesn't agree with your views is bitter and unhappy.

and it isn't propaganda, most men did why do you think women were looking for a way out? You think they had amazing lives and decided to venture out of it for fun?

 

[HellRell804]

I didn't see the bold, but what about women that had goals and dreams outside of being the "nurturer and emotional backbone"? I wouldn't be happy with that being my only purpose and I know a ton of women that feel that way. That's why I never agree with these types of threads because you guys try to make it seem like women should all be one way and any woman that doesn't agree with your views is bitter and unhappy.

and it isn't propaganda, most men did why do you think women were looking for a way out? You think they had amazing lives and decided to venture out of it for fun?

Those women always had the opportunity to compete. Not all woman are nurturers, some can legitimately compete and win in a true competitive environment. Let's not forget one of the first self made black millionaires was a woman, Madame c.j walker

How America's First Self-Made Female Millionaire Built Her Fortune

It wasn't until the media went into overdrive with the propaganda that made women feel like they were worthless unless they were competing directly with men. And corporations eager to reap the massive profits of unrestrained female spending were happy to not only perpetuate this line of thinking, but to also throw enough bones to average women to make them believe the game was easy and they could win.

Now that wages are devastated by the swelling workforce, and worker protections are being dialed back, that facade is no longer necessary

 

[Giselle]

As I said in the post, men need women for balance and vice versa. This weird androgynous hybrid we got going on where men are feminized and women are masculinized makes everyone unhappy. Men are committing suicide in record numbers and 1 in 4 women are on antidepressants.

I can't talk on the benefits of femininity because I'm a man. It would be akin to a woman lecturing me on what "a real man" acts like.

This goes completely against the point you are trying to make. Women being ok enough to go seek help for their mental illness while males trying to be "manly" refuse to seek help and end up killing themselves. There is a such thing as hypermasculinity which isn't healthy at all. Not seeking help for your illness bc you are trying to be "manly" falls under that. You only hurt yourself.

 

[HellRell804]

This goes completely against the point you are trying to make. Women being ok enough to go seek help for their mental illness while males trying to be "manly" refuse to seek help and end up killing themselves. There is a such thing as hypermasculinity which isn't healthy at all. Not seeking help for your illness bc you are trying to be "manly" falls under that. You only hurt yourself.

Lol antidepressants aren't a real solution. They just chemically alter your brain and release endorphins to make you content with your current situation. That's why people get addicted to them. It allows you to sidestep the issues in lieu of a quick fix. And as your tolerance builds up and the bad feelings return it takes more and more to counteract them.

The logical answer, which men are biologically programmed to seek, is to get to the underlying issues causing unhappiness and solve that. But when one half of the equation (women) refuse to do so, its impossible

 

[Giselle]

Lol antidepressants aren't a real solution. They just chemically alter your brain and release endorphins to make you content with your current situation. That's why people get addicted to them. It allows you to sidestep the issues in lieu of a quick fix. And as your tolerance builds up and the bad feelings return it takes more and more to counteract them.

The logical answer, which men are biologically programmed to seek, is to get to the underlying issues causing unhappiness and solve that. But when one half of the equation (women) refuse to do so, its impossible

Again, you are wrong.

Antidepressants go along with cbt and other forms of therapy. They work together to help you work through your issues. Also, there is no proof that they are addictive.

It is clear that you don't know what you're talking about when it comes to this. Proving people right even further that males, especially black males and you all downplaying mental health because you think it's more masculine. That isn't healthy at all.

 

[HellRell804]

Again, you are wrong.

Antidepressants go along with cbt and other forms of therapy. They work together to help you work through your issues. Also, there is no proof that they are addictive.

It is clear that you don't know what you're talking about when it comes to this. Proving people right even further that males, especially black males and you all downplaying mental health because you think it's more masculine. That isn't healthy at all.

The trauma that many black men face is very real, unfortunately most of it is attributed to being I'll equipped to handling life due to being primarily raised by women.

When those men encounter proper mentors and role models who would give them specific solutions to their problems and help them navigate issues specific to black men those issues will subside. Grabbing the bull by the horns so to speak. Taking highly addictive, mind altering drugs to make the bad feelings go away is not a viable solution for black empowerment. It just makes you a content slave to the system.

In fact, you're actually proving my initial point that women prioritize their feelings over tangible solutions.

 

[HellRell804]

I didn't see the bold, but what about women that had goals and dreams outside of being the "nurturer and emotional backbone"? I wouldn't be happy with that being my only purpose and I know a ton of women that feel that way. That's why I never agree with these types of threads because you guys try to make it seem like women should all be one way and any woman that doesn't agree with your views is bitter and unhappy.

and it isn't propaganda, most men did why do you think women were looking for a way out? You think they had amazing lives and decided to venture out of it for fun?

That goes back to my original post, propaganda set in to "inform" women that they were unhappy. The depiction of families in the media changed from the functioning 2 parent nuclear family, to the overworked underappreciated super genius mother being weighed down by her family. Or, in the black community, the husband as a literal slave master only seeking to impose his will on his helpless wife in children. Women are highly susceptible to manipulation. That's the reason behind the story of Adam and eve. The serpent whispered to eve, made her discontent, and she in turn influenced Adam to go against the natural order. That's the reason why celebrities with a large female and gay fan base wield almost ungodly levels of influence (like beyonce). Although, admittedly I've seen a rise in male "super groupies" in regards to celebrities with large male fan bases like (kobe, lebron, rappers) especially among millenials but that only shows that these men are beginning to think like women.

 

[Giselle]

The trauma that many black men face is very real, unfortunately most of it is attributed to being I'll equipped to handling life due to being primarily raised by women.

When those men encounter proper mentors and role models who would give them specific solutions to their problems and help them navigate issues specific to black men those issues will subside. Grabbing the bull by the horns so to speak. Taking highly addictive, mind altering drugs to make the bad feelings go away is not a viable solution for black empowerment. It just makes you a content slave to the system.

In fact, you're actually proving my initial point that women prioritize their feelings over tangible solutions.

Again, you are showing you don't know what you're talking about. You sound very ignorant. This is a perfect example of what people mean by "toxic masculinty" or hyper masculininty.

Again, therapy goes along with anti depressants to help you work through your issues. The drugs don't make the "bad feelings" go away, it changes your chemical imbalance so you won't have suicidal thoughts and are able to actually get out of bed everyday, the physical things. Then you go to therapy and talk about things, they encourage you and help you think more positively. You take what you learn in therapy and apply it to your life. Similar to what you described in the bold. Both work together. Also, sometimes there is no "solution to their problems" because there is no event that is causing them to be depressed other than their brain chemistry being off maybe bc of genetics or maybe bc of some other substance or medication they were perscribed, which would mean they would have to take the anti depressants bc that is the only way to balance their brain chemistry. You would know that if you actually knew what you were talking about.

This has nothing to do with being raised by your mom vs both parents. There are lots of women who only have their mother who are still depressed, and there a lots of men who only have their mother and never had depression, so your little theory is off. There are millions of people of both genders who have both parents and still have mental health issues.


Maybe you'll understand if one of your male friends or family members kill themsevels instead of going to get help for their issues.

 

[thewarrior05]

That goes back to my original post, propaganda set in to "inform" women that they were unhappy. The depiction of families in the media changed from the functioning 2 parent nuclear family, to the overworked underappreciated super genius mother being weighed down by her family. Or, in the black community, the husband as a literal slave master only seeking to impose his will on his helpless wife in children. Women are highly susceptible to manipulation. That's the reason behind the story of Adam and eve. The serpent whispered to eve, made her discontent, and she in turn influenced Adam to go against the natural order. That's the reason why celebrities with a large female and gay fan base wield almost ungodly levels of influence (like beyonce). Although, admittedly I've seen a rise in male "super groupies" in regards to celebrities with large male fan bases like (kobe, lebron, rappers) especially among millenials but that only shows that these men are beginning to think like women.

HellRell the wise brother they don't want to listen till its to late bruh bruh don't argue with them. As Jesus would say "do not throw your pearls before swine." Those that know better will do better. Those that are stubborn with have a downfall of epic proportion. The wise love wisdom and fools love foolishness. Peace and Love

 

[PeridotPuss]

This on its face reads well because @HellRell804 is an excellent writer and writes clearly...

What's lost is ...the broad generalizations about women....(a few that jumped out was that women were inherently jealous, blind consumers and implusive/emotional, etc.)

Which makes this ....a well written opinion, no more no less.

And that's fine, but there are a lot of holes in the logic here that rest on OPs opinions being reliable facts....that's the only way this thread works.

But he said himself....he can't really comment on being a woman or femininity....as he isn't one....though this thread is based on ....assumptions about that very thing.

Not going to say there are no truths in here...but the layer of judgmental and negative opinions on women and lightly misguided and overly narrowly focused ideas about "masculinity" ....are very present

Either way....better than a troll post