Rocket Scientist
Superstar
There will always something about a woman you don't like.
The joys of dating an up front woman.
- Thread starter Neuromancer
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Scustin Bieburr
Baby baybee baybee UUUGH
Think about it this way. If a woman found out that the emotional vulnerability that she had to work to get out of a man she was seeing was given freely and easily to a dusty ex, how would she feel? Of course there would be some resentment. She'd feel "why is it that someone who didn't value you got better treatment from you than me?"
A lot of the time women don't understand how important sexual attention to a man is, part of this is the dramatic difference between men and women when it comes to getting sex. Women can get sex extremely easily compared to men, so its not something they value in the same way that we do. The best comparison is sex for men is the equivalent of emotional attention/connection to a woman. If a woman doesn't feel like a man will open up to her she'll bounce. Likewise if a man feels like a woman cannot trust him to be physically vulnerable with him, then he's gonna leave as he should.
I know negus gonna come in and say 'it ain't that deep brehbreh I just want to get cheeks' but that's to be expected of a man who feels the need to prove to strangers that he's masculine. Sex for us is more than just a mechanical activity. Its a representation of trust and willingness to be vulnerable. If we don't feel trusted why should we stay?
Neo. The Only. The One.
THE ONE
wow smh
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Scustin Bieburr
Baby baybee baybee UUUGH
Breh after all the stuff this woman done told me, if she has more hidden
What are your values at the end of the day? Does she share those values? Men operate from a scarcity mindset while women operate from an abundance mindset. Women learn very early on that men are easy to get. You could throw a rock into a crowd of men and hit a simp who would slide over on his knee with his head down and his wallet in his palm.
They can start looking beyond 'how do I get a man' to 'what kind of man am I looking for?' Recognize your own value and before you even deal with a woman ask "what kind of woman am I looking for and how will she add to my life?" The typical woman gets a great deal when she enters a relationship. She gets a man who will give her sex when she wants it, someone who will spend money on her, someone who will put in emotional labor and listen as she goes on for 2hrs straight about people she has a problem with but will still keep hanging around. What are you getting by comparison?
it’s not that..,
it’s the fact a woman tells you about her sexual past and say shyt like she gave blow jobs to so and so , but now she says I’m not giving head till I’m married, is what gets you
how the fukk u telling me about what u used to do, but I have to wait till marriage to get head , fukk outta here
U GET THOSE STATEMENTS FROM CHURCH WOMEN A LOT, BELIEVE ME
Kiyoshi-Dono
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Let a nikka tell you
He doesn’t perform cunninlingus anymore
As he sees it as a subservient act
And filthy
Guaranteed you are not going to stay with him
R.E.N. Spells Ren
Veteran
The confusion lies in the fact that how you feel you should be treated is a YOU thing.
For example, if woman A used to suck dikk but with you refuses to do so, that don’t make her a lesser match for you than woman B who doesn’t suck dikk with you or any of her previous partners. If you need to be with a woman who’ll suck yo dikk you need that regardless of her past.
And the fact that woman A won’t suck your dikk doesn’t mean that she thinks you aren’t as good as a previous partner who’s dikk she did suck. She could’ve just grown as a person. Either she went from liking sucking dikk to not liking it or she never liked it and grew up and realized that doing something she hates for a partner isn’t going to make him stay so she’s now just going to find someone who matches her better so they both can be happy with each other.
The same thing is true from a male perspective. Guys may wine and dinner and splurge on their partners even tho they don’t like doing that shyt cuz they feel they need to but as they mature they realize they should find a partner who doesn’t want to be splurge on like that. The fact that they’re not buying the new partner bags every month doesn’t mean that they don’t like the new partner as much as the old partner they reluctantly spoiled.
Because having a woman hold out on sex isn't kosher brehette. Especially when you know it's a new behavior.
Me going on 10 dates to hit while ol' boy hit it on date 1 doesn't mean shyt in the grand scheme of things, what matters is how we vibe. So why take sex out of the equation for X amount of dates? It feels like a stupid shyt test.
This comes from a place of being owed something though, which is just a wrong way of thinking. Nobody is owed anything apart from basic human respect.
Who goes on a date and thinks to themselves, "Hmmm, I wonder how fast he/she slept with that other dude 5-10 years ago?".
Most women who take sex out of the equation are either just looking to protect themselves (physically or mentally), or want to see if this could be something serious and the usual pattern of behavior when looking for something more than friends with benefits + wanting to be taken seriously is to delay instant gratification.
The only thing I can understand is being apprehensive about someone having had a large amount of sex partners in general in the past, as that shows me how much self control you have/willpower and just lets me know if I'm dealing with a hoe or not.
Harsh but it is what it is......
Some people say it doesn't matter, especially in regard to men but I guess I disagree. Wholeheartedly.
Having sex early is treating you well?
That's just the reason you're going on the date to begin with but that isn't always the goal of the woman you're going out with.
The info about past relationships that I'd like to know is limited to maybe the reason why it ended and if severe issues like DV or other psycho behavior happened. I don't want to know how often, in which ways and on what days their sex life happened.
And I sure as hell won't be mad and start and argument because he kissed Ashley A on the first date, had sex with Ashley B on the second and didn't make hasty advances at me until the third date.
It's less confusion but more so apprehension to just flat out say that this is a stupid way of thinking.....
Being so focused on the past intricacies of your dates relationships just seems so childish and bitter; bitterness about something that never had anything to do with you.
It's outright coming out of a place of fear about missing out on something and it reeks of desperation to be honest....
Nobody (neither man, nor woman) is owed anything, we actually do agree on that.This comes from a place of being owed something though, which is just a wrong way of thinking. Nobody is owed anything apart from basic human respect.
Who goes on a date and thinks to themselves, "Hmmm, I wonder how fast he/she slept with that other dude 5-10 years ago?".
Most women who take sex out of the equation are either just looking to protect themselves (physically or mentally), or want to see if this could be something serious and the usual pattern of behavior when looking for something more than friends with benefits + wanting to be taken seriously is to delay instant gratification.
The only thing I can understand is being apprehensive about someone having had a large amount of sex partners in general in the past, as that shows me how much self control you have/willpower and just lets me know if I'm dealing with a hoe or not.
Harsh but it is what it is......
Some people say it doesn't matter, especially in regard to men but I guess I disagree. Wholeheartedly.
Having sex early is treating you well?
That's just the reason you're going on the date to begin with but that isn't always the goal of the woman you're going out with.
The info about past relationships that I'd like to know is limited to maybe the reason why it ended and if severe issues like DV or other psycho behavior happened. I don't want to know how often, in which ways and on what days their sex life happened.
And I sure as hell won't be mad and start and argument because he kissed Ashley A on the first date, had sex with Ashley B on the second and didn't make hasty advances at me until the third date.
It's less confusion but more so apprehension to just flat out say that this is a stupid way of thinking.....
Being so focused on the past intricacies of your dates relationships just seems so childish and bitter; bitterness about something that never had anything to do with you.
It's outright coming out of a place of fear about missing out on something and it reeks of desperation to be honest....
Which is why splitting the bill on dates would go a long way to even the playing field. But that's not how it often goes is it?
So unfortunately that's a factor on how many dates she delays the gratification by.shyt, if I could go on 10 dinner dates with the same woman without getting the cheeks but she's somewhat charming and attractive AND paying for the meals, I'd enjoy them meals for sure! No rush at all!
But now addressing the "Who goes on a date and thinks to themselves, "Hmmm, I wonder how fast he/she slept with that other dude 5-10 years ago?" part. That's not really how it goes, usually guys just go in blind, it's only after they're told (usually DURING or more often AFTER the relationship) that home girl gave it up easy to such and such that it hurts. Especially when you're lead to believe that the delay to sex instantly means that she's more than what she appears to be (it's basic math, if she doesn't give it up easy then hopefully she's been like this for many men before you
).There ARE men that went on several dates with a woman that turned out to have a far shyttier personality or attitude than a past fling that gave it up on day 1. And THAT'S the real mind fukk. That's when it hits you that you wasted your time getting to know a woman - while investing time and money - that was just putting up a front.
Honestly some of the brehs touched on it already in here, probably is way more "experienced" than you think also, another breh pointed out usually "up front chicks" have a "Im one of the dudes" mentality which can rub people the wrong way
Breh after all the stuff this woman done told me, if she has more hidden
Abstract83
Superstar
The way I see it we all have a choice. We can deal with it or not.
I hear you but here's the thing, having sex with men very early on rarely works out in the favor of most women. Of course there are exception to the rule but the fact still stands...
Having sex on the first date either means I am giving so much trust about my body/physical health to a literal stranger which is risky in itself even if we're ignoring the emotional ramifications.
So here I am with a dude who I barely know which means I certainly have no idea about your STD status so I'm risking getting at the least if I'm using a condom: Herpes, Crabs, pregnancy if the condom breaks (and there's no second factor if birth control), and obviously the "big" STD's in case the dude decides to be one of those scumbags that secretly get rid of the condom.
Furthermore, that probably means I'm going to go somewhere secluded with a stranger (messaging for 1 week still makes you a stranger
) so I'm also placing trust into this guy that he won't assault me (if I don't end up wanting to have sex), or doing something that I'm not comfortable with (some women don't like to be choked during sex or have stuff shoved up their butt) soooo how much time have we spent talking about boundaries? Probably none!Additionally, if it comes out people think you're a hoe, the guy probably thinks you're not real relationship material (wifey material) because it's assumed that this is my M.O. in regards to guys....
In the end I'm placing immense trust in a strangers hands, with my physical health and overall well being because who's to say the dude is not a scumbag who'll physically hurt or even kill me?
It would maybe be different if I'd be certain I could 100% defend myself but pushups aren't even "easy" to me so how likely is it that I'll be able to push a significantly heavier/stronger dude off of me if it comes to that?
Add to that that I'd probably cry for a while if a guy ghosted me after having sex as I (and many other women) can't separate deeper emotions from sex....
The risk-reward ratio is just not looking so hot....
Trust doesn't come easy or fast, it has to be established over time. So for lots of men to expect significant trust to be built on the first or second date or otherwise it's the bushes.....that is just delusional thinking.
You wouldn't let someone you've known for 3 days hold a significant amount of money for you, you have no idea who they are and you're right to assume that they'll run with the money as soon as they possibly can.
I guess talking about what kind of things you used to do sexually in the past is never a good idea as it doesn't lead anywhere.
A lot of decisions are heavily influenced by the surrounding circumstances so it shouldn't be seen as a personal slight.
Let a nikka tell you
He doesn’t perform cunninlingus anymore
As he sees it as a subservient act
And filthy
Guaranteed you are not going to stay with him
I mean I personally wouldn't have a huge problem with that.
If it was important to me then I'd have to accept we're not sexually compatible which sucks if everything else is good but I wouldn't throw a tantrum about it.