Thanks
People need to understand that suicide is not simply about self loathing tho. That's part of it, but it also has a lot to do with being disassociated/not knowing what's real anymore. In the past I've experienced hallucinations, heightened senses and delusions of grandeur (Last year I thought I died and rose from the dead like Jesus

). I've had to burn myself with cigarettes just make sure I'm still alive.
Those are classic symptoms of what the medical establishment calls schizophrenia but I don't believe in that shyt. I only believe in god/spirit. Nevertheless, I think I can benefit from some therapy. It may be time to seek professional help. Again, I appreciate all of you who expressed concern.