Essential The Mental Health Thread

[A Pimp Named Slickback]

Im so glad I found this thread. I've been struggling with depression and anxiety since middle school. My uncle has schizophrenia, my grandma had depression, my sister has bipolar, and my mom has anxiety so its pretty much in my DNA. Im graduating college next semester and I've came a long way but I'm still battling negative thoughts, overthinking, low self esteem and panic attacks as far as I've come compared to 9 years ago. I've cycled through multiple medication combinations and they all seem to be flawed in one way or another.


I've lost one of my best friends to suicide last December and my grandma died this March. My uncle was just diagnosed with cancer. I feel like I dont have friends who actually care about me. It seems like every relationship I get into fails no matter what I do. I could type 10 thousand words of all the shyt I'm going through but something inside me is keeping me here.

As close as I've gotten to suicide recently and in my life I never attempted it. It would destroy my mom if I ended my life and I learned from having two friends commit suicide that all it does is transfer the pain to your loved ones. My faith in God has been wavering but I can't bring myself to completely deny his existence.


Life is a difficult journey and as much as it seems like everyone but you has it together, they don't. At this point in my life I'm just ready to defeat my depression and anxiety as hard as it is. I major in Psychology and I want to help people who have mental illnesses and struggles with functioning in life.That is one of the things that is keeping me alive. It feels like my calling is to help people but I can't help anyone before I help myself. As hard as it is with my psychiatrist prescribing me with different pills that make things worse and how long the treatment process is, I can't give up now and none of you that are reading this can give up either. No matter how you feel, the reality is things aren't as bad as we think they are. The mind is a powerful thing. Things will always get better brehs and brehettes

 

[NotaPAWG]

What if you talk out loud to yourself? I ain't even kidding on this. When I'm vocal with my anger, it helps dissipate the tension after I've gone through whatever rant I was on.

But then again I've a hard time telling people my problems since I always feel like they don't care enough to offer anything else but an ear and lackluster advice. Plus I always feel like they'd use it (Me telling them my problems)against me if given the chance.

this is hard. i hate even discussing my mental health with my family, because my mom has thrown it in my face at times. like there will be times, she’ll be in a bad mood and treating people like shyt because of it, i’ll call her out on it and then she brings up my bipolar and throw it in my face as a way to deflect from her attitude.

or if i’m feeling really low and i bring it up to her, like have thoughts of feelings worthless, like there’s no point in living etc she’ll say something about how i’m making her feel bad. and guilty and like get angry with me.

 

[hostsamurai]

What if you talk out loud to yourself? I ain't even kidding on this. When I'm vocal with my anger, it helps dissipate the tension after I've gone through whatever rant I was on.

But then again I've a hard time telling people my problems since I always feel like they don't care enough to offer anything else but an ear and lackluster advice. Plus I always feel like they'd use it (Me telling them my problems)against me if given the chance.

Talking to yourself is extremely natural, although if you openly do it you are telegraphing to random people around you that you are in the minority, an out group. Of course they will give you weird looks because you are not their normal experience and they will have a slight fear response. Naturally, you shouldn't give a fukk. Why?

I overuse this image but it's necessary because people don't get how little meaning there is in strangers. Do they pay your bills? Are they offering you any value? No. So challenge yourself to break your conditioning, no matter how futile the attempt will be.

I talk myself through lots of processes on the way to work. If I talk to myself once, I don't need to do it 4-5 times in my head. If someone notices me I just flash a smile and go about the rest of my day.

 

[MollyGalaga]

hard to explain how you feeling to people thats not you.

 

[mamba]

I feel like absolute shyt 98% of the time. Haven't felt truly happy in more than 7 years and I have a persistent headache 100% of the time. Even through all these hard times the last couple of months have been the hardest and most draining. Listening to music is the only thing that pretty much gets me through most of my days. I'm glad I found this thread right now cos I really needed something like it

We got you, breh.

 

[NotaPAWG]

i don’t know why i even bother entering the threads on here where mental health is discussed.. like that kate spade thread smh

 

[NotaPAWG]

i have therapy today, i missed it last week. i don’t wanna go today either. i’ve been rapid cycling between manic and depressed. i don’t wanna continue treatment cause i feel like outside of having someone to talk to, i haven’t accomplished shyt or made any progress and i just wanna go back to dealing with this shyt on my own

i felt more happiness off my meds

 

[Rawtid]

3rd week in a row of getting up early to walk/jog/jump rope and I really see improvement in my mood and overall outlook. I average about 3 miles a morning and aim for 6 days a week with a rest on Sunday. Eventually I’d like to create some sort of metrics so I can gauge improvement, but right now I’m just aiming for consistency. I don’t want to be the level of depressed I’ve been over the last few months. It’s a very dark place.

 

[NotaPAWG]

3rd week in a row of getting up early to walk/jog/jump rope and I really see improvement in my mood and overall outlook. I average about 3 miles a morning and aim for 6 days a week with a rest on Sunday. Eventually I’d like to create some sort of metrics so I can gauge improvement, but right now I’m just aiming for consistency. I don’t want to be the level of depressed I’ve been over the last few months. It’s a very dark place.

i’m sure there is some sort of app that you can use to track your progress

i wish i had the motivation to excercise

 

[Amestafuu (Emeritus)]

i have therapy today, i missed it last week. i don’t wanna go today either. i’ve been rapid cycling between manic and depressed. i don’t wanna continue treatment cause i feel like outside of having someone to talk to, i haven’t accomplished shyt or made any progress and i just wanna go back to dealing with this shyt on my own

i felt more happiness off my meds

I'll never try them.

 

[Rawtid]

i’m sure there is some sort of app that you can use to track your progress

i wish i had the motivation to exercise

Yeah, but I'm talking about me personally measuring, right now I just go and I don't even know how far I've gone until I map the route when I get back home. I just try to walk about an hour or so or get 7500 steps. Whatever comes first.

My motivation is solely mental health at this point. It had gotten really bad these past few months and I was admitted into the psych ward. It's not a place I EVER want to go back to. Definitely not AS crazy as the people I had to spend the evening with and luckily my depression and anxiety can be controlled without meds.

 

[hostsamurai]

Yeah, but I'm talking about me personally measuring, right now I just go and I don't even know how far I've gone until I map the route when I get back home. I just try to walk about an hour or so or get 7500 steps. Whatever comes first.

My motivation is solely mental health at this point. It had gotten really bad these past few months and I was admitted into the psych ward. It's not a place I EVER want to go back to. Definitely not AS crazy as the people I had to spend the evening with and luckily my depression and anxiety can be controlled without meds.

Who made the call to send you to the psych ward?

 

[Rawtid]

Who made the call to send you to the psych ward?

A bill collector I was having an awful day, at least 6 job rejections, denial for assistance and some other shyt so I wasn't right at all. Bill collector calls and I'm basically like "I ain't got it and you ain't gon get it because I'm going to off myself soon". Cops showed up at my crib like Luckily my mom was home and they allowed her to take me, they were trying to make me ride in the back of the car. I guess everyone was off their meds or went over the deep end that day because the psych ward was backed up, so it was a shytty night and shytty experience overall. I promised myself that I'd never go back there. I'll never let my mind even get that bad, regardless of what's happening.

 

[Paradise50]

i have therapy today, i missed it last week. i don’t wanna go today either. i’ve been rapid cycling between manic and depressed. i don’t wanna continue treatment cause i feel like outside of having someone to talk to, i haven’t accomplished shyt or made any progress and i just wanna go back to dealing with this shyt on my own

i felt more happiness off my meds

you a female? only asking cause I know rapid cycling more common with females than males if I'm not mistaken. Just be careful because rapid cycling means a higher risk of suicide.

 

[Actually6Foot3]

I have two hoarders in my family. It's borderline unbearable. Anybody have any experience with this?