The Problem Isn’t the Black Family; It’s the System

[Regular Developer]

Im agnostic in which method we shift to. I just can't shake the feeling that we do need to make a switch.

Either of those would work whether we made it from scratch or borrowed it. Surely someone else has experienced changes similar to black Americans due to exploitation or hostile systems, and created a family system that works in spite of it. Why fix something that's not broken? But on the other hand, nothing would be better for us than a custom-made solution since even those successful Eastern societies have cultural philosophies that are entirely incompatible with black people which may cause resistance to the new structure(for example individualism vs collectivism which historically was in issue in Stolypin family reforms which failed to create better familes).


The only thing at stake is time. It would be quicker to take somebody else's solution. And much cheaper . But it would be like a store-bought suit that is visibly awkward when we wear it. It would take a lot of time and resources to create a custom made solution, but it will fit snuggly like a bespoke Rubbinaci.


How do you see it @Regular Developer ?

I've never given it any thought, but I'd probably have to study family structures and the cultures they exist in. I don't think I'd want to start completely from scratch, but piecing together things that might have worked in the past in relevant situations.

 

[Ohene]

@CopiousX

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

This is from an inquisitive standpoint (i've been oding on "The Innovator's Dliemma" audiobook, so don't mind me, lol). Would you think it needs to be created? Or do you think it may already exist in maybe how African families are structured, or maybe one of the more Eastern cultures? Or maybe a hybrid?

Honestly I'm not sure. I haven't studied enough family structures to know what suits us best. I just know what we are doing now isn't working.

Patriarchy doesn't work for us and is not being "successfully" implemented. At least not in the form it is now. Plus it's only successfully implemented via oppression.

It will have to be something that balances power dynamics. That seems to be a constant struggle in our community.

Then we'll have to answer some questions about how we will continue as a people

1. How important is individualism to us?
2. Do we actually value monogamy?
3. Are birthrates a major focus?
4. What is the most financially advantage structure?
5. Do we want coming of age rituals?
6. How valuable is compatibility vs utility?
7. Depending on the answer to #6 how do we supplement the other to bring balance?

Etc

 

[WIA20XX]

There is something else lacking.

Black Americans are locked out of the economic system of the US to a very large degree.

If we shared our resources by being in more marriages,
if we lived closer to family to disperse some of the child care expenses,
if we were on much better terms with our neighbors,
If we went to more black retailers as opposed to retailers owned by others
If we bought houses in black majority areas using black banks

There's definitely some economic benefit there. A lot less suffering, because our dollars aren't leaking AS FAST out of the community.

But until there is a Black Goldman Sachs, a Black NVDIA, a Black Microsoft - major economic drivers that can employ 100,000s of us in high paying jobs (and then all the downstream vendors and clients) - that affect the global economy - then we're really still in the same boat, just not as leaky.

IMO, when this conversation comes up every week - cats focus on such small little details

• Don't mess with girls with nose rings
• Young guys should get into the trades or the military
• Drink more water, eat less sugar

The big picture is that Black people on a global stage should control 15-20% of the global economy, AT LEAST.

Black People don't even control hip hop.

Even when Black people create trillion dollar intellectual property - Black people don't see the bulk of that money.....

It would be nice if Black Men would humble themselves and Black Women would submit, and everything was Brand Nubian again - but that's not gonna fix the economics.

 

[MaxBundles]

So it’s still a no go bringing back dads?

This. While I agree the system plays a major part, let's not act like fatherless homes isn't a problem in our community as well.

 

[kingofnyc]

several years ago when this was the huge topic on Black YouTube, specifically the black Manosphere

I never got the intention / impression that Moynihan report was blaming Black people as a whole - it more or less felt like the whole entire report was aimed at the government for allowing BW to abandon the BM

 

[Regular Developer]

IMO, when this conversation comes up every week - cats focus on such small little details

• Don't mess with girls with nose rings
• Young guys should get into the trades or the military
• Drink more water, eat less sugar

I understand the frustration here, but the small details (not those, those outside of 2, are a bit trivial) are what leads up to the big thing. They are the thing that's easily doable. Where is a Black Nvidia going to come from? You need to create the proper soil for those key people in the community to grow into those spaces

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

Marriage is not the only way to share resources. The whole Jewish community shares resources. Marriage is not a requirement for resources sharing.

 

[yardman]

___​

 

[Dameon Farrow]

A closely connected extended family. A true village.

This is the only way to combat the fact that pay hasn't kept up with inflation(the real underlying killer of the family unit). Families pooling resources leads to a great financial quality of life but only works if family gets along enough to tolerate each otjer(this is yet another issue).

People are happier and willing to weather a lot more storms if they can keep a little money in their pocket. Broke and stressed all the time is the final boss of buzzkills and is the root of many divorces.

Antiitellectualism(which doesn't simply mean anti-college) is also a problem.

 

[WIA20XX]

You need to create the proper soil for those key people in the community to grow into those spaces

Focusing on this small stuff has become THE ENTIRE focus.

Cats talmbout how to navigate these Gen Z hoes, maybe have a family, yadda yadda yadda -

But what kind of world are you grandchildren and great granchildren going to inherit?

Folks thinking second to second, maybe year to year, but never generationally.

So the advice is not to spend your money on rims, sneakers, and luxury goods but put it 95% equities and 1% crypto - that's only maybe solving your small little issue, maybe in the future.

Meanwhile, we got business owners, IT, computer developers, engineers, doctors, dentists, mechanics, military folks, truck drivers, underground pharmacists - on this very forum - but most of us working for, working with - white employers, white customers, white banks.
You can get some gold, but we won't make it as a whole. (c) Cee Lo

I've said this plenty of times and it makes people mad - but folks are focused on small time stuff that they can control, or big time stuff that they have no control over.

What about big time moves that we could make?

Can we even start to think about how 100 quarter zip brothers in Cleveland could put together some type of Cybersecurity IT firm that's a government contractor?

100 Black lawyers in DC
100 Black investment bankers in NYC
100 black professional athletes can't put in and buy the Detroit Pistons?
100 Black nurses in H-Town

No combination of black knowhow and experience can build something bigger than their individual salaries?

Can we do that?

Can we think like that?

Can folks even have a conversation about that?

Or do we just continue to react to the market, to Trump, to AI, to FBA vs Tethers, to bird babble of the week...?

Whenever I make a post, they brick. Ain't now way I can lead the revolution.

But damn, why is it only handful of us talking about something bigger than the typical BS?

 

[Gloxina]

Can you describe what you mean?

Are you saying that black people currently don't have extended families?

We do, but we need to do more business amongst ourselves and put that family dynamic to use the way others do. Pooling resources to help each other, buying homes together…we have to get back to educating ourselves and setting community standards.
How we view relationships and family creation…that alone would be a big deal. And it seems like things are slowly moving in a better direction with teen pregnancy down, etc.

This is the only way to combat the fact that pay hasn't kept up with inflation(the real underlying killer of the family unit). Families pooling resources leads to a great financial quality of life but only works if family gets along enough to tolerate each otjer(this is yet another issue).

People are happier and willing to weather a lot more storms if they can keep a little money in their pocket. Broke and stressed all the time is the final boss of buzzkills and is the root of many divorces.

Antiitellectualism(which doesn't simply mean anti-college) is also a problem.

Looove your comment! I was literally in the middle of writing my response above and never pressed “post”. Lol We’re on the same page.

 

[kingofnyc]

It's worth noting that when the Moynihan report was written, black families were still very much intact. This was that very conservative civil right's generation where a wife would stay with a family even if the husband was beating her or had a second family across town . However , the report did become a self-fulfilling prophecy in the '80s once crack hit and the social programs were funded in a way that actively disincentized families.

I have a bit of an outlier opinion on this. there is an institution that's lacking in the black community, but I don't think it's the standard family itself, because Even when you have an intact black family, they perform far worse than intact families of other ethnicities When adjusted for socioeconomic status. There is something else lacking. I think it's an underlying philosophy behind what the family is supposed to do or even a third party entity that polices individual black families.

I admit this is a bit speculative but I think we need a unique type of family specifically for black people. Instead of trying to emulate whatever type of family white people are using. The reason I'm saying we can't just emulate the family values or the nuclear nature of white families, is because our family is going to have unique disadvantages to us that our family's must compensate for. So trying to copy paste the generic white family structure and white value system will be inadequate, and will make us non-competitive when competing with their families.

respectfully, have to disagree

I don’t understand where would you get the notion that an intact black family in America still under performs to its counterparts
I don’t know maybe because I’m probably much older than most of y’all on here
But in the 70s 80s 90s we’ve watched TV shows with intact families where you had mother father children with employed parents from shows like the Cosby’s / Fresh Prince of Bel-Air / family matters …. etc., etc. and those intact families performed well

and again and I don’t mean this in no disrespectful way
but when you say things like we copy and paste a white family structure what does that exactly mean?

 

[2Quik4UHoes]

Focusing on this small stuff has become THE ENTIRE focus.

Cats talmbout how to navigate these Gen Z hoes, maybe have a family, yadda yadda yadda -

But what kind of world are you grandchildren and great granchildren going to inherit?

Folks thinking second to second, maybe year to year, but never generationally.

So the advice is not to spend your money on rims, sneakers, and luxury goods but put it 95% equities and 1% crypto - that's only maybe solving your small little issue, maybe in the future.

Meanwhile, we got business owners, IT, computer developers, engineers, doctors, dentists, mechanics, military folks, truck drivers, underground pharmacists - on this very forum - but most of us working for, working with - white employers, white customers, white banks.
You can get some gold, but we won't make it as a whole. (c) Cee Lo

I've said this plenty of times and it makes people mad - but folks are focused on small time stuff that they can control, or big time stuff that they have no control over.

What about big time moves that we could make?

Can we even start to think about how 100 quarter zip brothers in Cleveland could put together some type of Cybersecurity IT firm that's a government contractor?

100 Black lawyers in DC
100 Black investment bankers in NYC
100 black professional athletes can't put in and buy the Detroit Pistons?
100 Black nurses in H-Town

No combination of black knowhow and experience can build something bigger than their individual salaries?

Can we do that?

Can we think like that?

Can folks even have a conversation about that?

Or do we just continue to react to the market, to Trump, to AI, to FBA vs Tethers, to bird babble of the week...?

Whenever I make a post, they brick. Ain't now way I can lead the revolution.

But damn, why is it only handful of us talking about something bigger than the typical BS?

I swear, Amos Wilson did an excellent job of addressing this imo through his blueprint for Black Power speech. Make no mistake, the system is the side of the coin everyone knows and recognizes. It’s our cooperation with that system, even when it oppresses us, that is the oft unspoken side of that coin.

I think the more things go south, the more people will wake up. What good is getting lost in stats or a game/match when you’re living conditions are plummeting and there’s damn near nothing positive to look forward to? That’s my hope at least, because what your alluding to with regards to why we engage in such shallow unserious bullshyt is because anti-intellectualism has gone from a quiet secret in the open to a full fledged American principle that crosses color lines real well. It’s ironic, some Black folk and white folk get along great from their own prideful ignorance and their insecurities around anyone with a semblance of intellectual thought.

 

[KingFreeman]

This ain't rocket science. Stop normalizing out of wedlock births and dead the stereotype "culture" that gets pushed and perpetuated, and regardless of how the system is setup, a huge chunk of the problem is gone. I live my life like that and most of my family does and we live pretty good lives as a result.