"Joe Cullen awoke in the driver’s seat of his SUV, blue and red lights bouncing off his rearview mirror. He had no idea how he got there. The last thing he remembered was drinking whiskey with a few colleagues at a bar earlier that afternoon. It was Friday. The 2006 NFL regular season was two weeks away and the Lions’ coaching staff had been let out early.
As Cullen waited for officers to approach, something dawned on him: He was naked. He scurried to grab clothes from his gym bag in the backseat. Still hazy from drink and sleep, he started on the wrong end, putting on his shirt first. “The shorts, I couldn’t find them in time,” he explains now. Officers helped the now-half-naked Cullen out of his car and found a blanket to cover him. They let him search his bag, where he eventually found his shorts. As soon as those were on, he was cuffed.
Gradually, the picture became clearer. Cullen realized he was in the parking lot of the Wendy’s near his new condo, which was yet to be furnished. He’d failed to pair food with the evening’s whiskey. After going home to his apartment—and at some point after he had gotten undressed—he realized he was starving. Neglecting to put his clothes back on, he got in his car to hit the all-night drive-thru. Cullen never remembered what he ordered that night, though the Wendy’s staffers who called the police did. A single combo: burgers, fries and a drink.
“I don’t know how I didn’t get in an accident,” Cullen says. “Thank God I didn’t hurt anybody.”"
I know that's serious but.
How the fukk you so drunk that you leave your house naked, get in your car, and make it all the way to Wendy's without realizing you're out in public naked?
I've passed out drunk in college and I still feel there are levels of drunkenness that I have never experienced.
He’s bringing the circus to the circus?
for me
