Prince.Skeletor
Don’t Be Like He-Man
Chess grandmaster accused of using anal beads to win ‘likely cheated over 100 times’
A chess grandmaster who beat the world champion has been accused of cheating ‘over 100 times’ in his career.
At just 19-years-old Hans Mok Niemann sensationally beat the world champ Magnus Carlsen earlier this year.
The upset rocked the chess world to its core and resulted in rumours that Niemann had somehow cheated his way to victory.
A wild theory suggested vibrating anal beads could be his tactic.
Lodged deep inside him, they would pass through the airport-style tournament security and – being controlled by his coach watching the match – vibrate gently to let him know the right moves to make.
Neimann didn’t help his cause when he stated he would play naked as a way to prove his innocence.
Unfortunately for him, an extensive 72-page investigation into Neimann by Chess.com has made some damning claims.
It says the chess prodigy broke the rules in tournaments as recently as 2020, noting ‘many remarkable signals and unusual patterns in Hans’ path as a player’.
In fact, the report says that Neimann used illegal computer aids to receive assistance in over 100 online games in his path to the top. Many of these tournaments included cash prizes, it added.
Neimann was expelled from the site in 2020 for ‘blatant cheating’.
At present, he hasn’t issued a statement on the report.
‘Outside his online play, Hans is the fastest rising top player in Classical [over-the-board] chess in modern history,’ the Chess.com report reads.
Looking purely at rating, Hans should be classified as a member of this group of top young players. While we don’t doubt that Hans is a talented player, we note that his results are statistically extraordinary.’
The world of chess is divided over Niemann’s abilities.
Some other chess pros have defended him, calling the allegations a ‘witch hunt’.
Among the 10 players participating in the Sinquefield Cup, Niemann was the lowest rated and the least likely to defeat Magnus Carlsen who was on a two-year unbeaten streak.
