My personality and intelligence. Growing up I was always told I was pretty. I got used to just falling back on my looks to get things—from jobs, ego boosts, relationships, money, etc. then one day I realized, that every time I met someone knew I never had anything to say, that was of value. I couldn’t really contribute in conversations, I had nothing to add. There was nothing about me that made me unique—or that I could express to anyone. If that makes sense. Plus I have ADD, and had processing issues growing up, so it’s a struggle to keep up sometimes when I’m learning something new, or trying to understand something complex. So I’m sometimes just won’t even try to contribute because I don’t want people to know I don’t understand.
Social awkwardness. I’m socially awkward. I know what to say to people, and I’m actually good with people, but I dont have a filter, and I say a lot of things without thinking. And do a little of stupid stuff, like getting lost when I shouldn’t, or not being able to find my car when I’ve parked it somewhere. Or not being able to cut things out lol, without messing it up(sucky fine motor skills).
I have mental health issues, a coldness I can’t explain. So I don’t react right to situations and people. I often wonder, if I ever truly loved anyone, if I’m capable of it. It makes me worried becsuse I’ve used and manipulated so many people that loved me, and I don’t even know if I love them back. If I am capable of it. I wonder why I don’t feel
things the way others do...
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bih if you don't slide up in my inbox...
