malbaker86
Gators
I doubt couples say to each other "'let's try living together before getting married and if it doesn't work, we'll break up". In fact, i'm pretty sure they don't say that or think like that
What should be the dating time minimum (months/years) before getting married?
- Thread starter Mr Uncle Leroy
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I doubt couples say to each other "'let's try living together before getting married and if it doesn't work, we'll break up". In fact, i'm pretty sure they don't say that or think like that
Well allot of people treat marriages like they are "let's try it out and if it doesn't work lets break up"
By cohabitating you are not practicing marriage, you are practicing cohabitating. Sure marriage is a different type of commitment, but in that commitment you have to live together, you might as well find out if living together is going to be a problem.
You mean to tell me if you find a woman you love and want to marry. You will propose to her and still insist that you two live apart?
Grams
Grams Grands Gucci G'd Up
Champishere said that he's gonna be single until he gets married. And I had a friend I saw once in a while freshman year. By sophomore year we're roomates and I would not mind if this nikka drops dead. If I see a girl once in a while and I'm on some Drake thing in love with her, who's to say that I won't actually hate her once we start living together. But ima wait until we get married to find out that I can't stand being around her hours in a day right?
malbaker86
Gators
Well allot of people treat marriages like they are "let's try it out and if it doesn't work lets break up"
By cohabitating you are not practicing marriage, you are practicing cohabitating. Sure marriage is a different type of commitment, but in that commitment you have to live together, you might as well find out if living together is going to be a problem.
You mean to tell me if you find a woman you love and want to marry. You will propose to her and still insist that you two live apart?
and if she doesn't share the same opinion, he'll move on and not compromise to an extend because he fully believes that you should never live together before getting married. She doesn't share the same opinion or belief as him so she didn't truly love him or was the one for him in the first place
That's the vibe i'm getting from some of these responses
DaChampIsHere
Survive the drought
Yes. I'm not mixing my financial well being and standing with a woman who is not mine or not my immediate family member.
But that's the whole idea behind living together. It's supposed to be some pre-emptive measure to see if someone if right for living together.
Are you telling me that people find out they cant live together and still get married?
DaChampIsHere
Survive the drought
and if she doesn't share the same opinion, he'll move on and not compromise to an extend because he fully believes that you should never live together before getting married. She doesn't share the same opinion or belief as him so she didn't truly love him or was the one for him in the first place
That's the vibe i'm getting from some of these responses
I damn sure would. I'm not desperate and I'm not letting a woman lead me into something I don't wanna do.
There's always someone else if things are a major problem. No sweat off my back.
No one said to buy a car and sign a lease with her.
But anyway to each his own, I'm not sure how realistic your ideals are, but good luck bruh.
DaChampIsHere
Survive the drought
More realistic than your's according to numbers.
Nope actualy less. Those numbers you keep quoting also say that those who get married without cohabitation are most likely religious or part of a arranged marriage culture. You seem to be neither so I'm not sure how your gonna fit in with your statistic.
2 yrs dating + 2 yrs engaged (setting up your marriage...not just the wedding) = 4 years
Based on this logic; she could fake it until the nuptials.
Nothing in life will ever be perfect--even marriage...
Number 1, if you're willing to call off a marriage, because of something as petty as the toilet seat or milk, then ya'll might not be ready to get married. I expect the pro-shacked-up crowd to list superficial things.
Number 2, Ask. It seems communication is the most unappreciated trait in a relationship--on SOHH/Coli.
Just ask her about her preferences and expectations of you.Then, ask about the things she thinks she could work to improve on. Then, you do the same. Keep it open and honest.
Marriages should be treated like a business, not, a car sale @malbaker86.
Sit down, got down everything--EVERYTHING--you could think about being an issue. It's the rest of your life. If can't trust her to have a honest discussion (actually, series of discussions), then; marriage is out of the question.
I think this is a case of; people want everything to be perfect and ready made. You are two different people; ya'll not gonna come "ready to eat" after the rings come on. How long after you are married are you gonna find out something new and wanna call it quits? Shackin up to "test out" sets a bad precedent in a committed relationship to will last a lifetime.
Of course, you don't wanna be blind, but; if seriously don't trust her to be honest or mature enough to have that convo with, then, marriage ain't for ya'll.
I guide my life by the Bible, but, that doesn't mean I don't see practical and modern reasons to follow it. IMO Marriage should be treated for the heavy commitment it is. It's the rest of ya'll's life. You should be able to open up about it, in every way.
No doubt.
I'm not married, but, I sometimes think us single folk forget the reason for marriage, in the first place.
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before you make assumptions about me, just know that I am married and I am not part of this "shaking up" crowd you speak of.I more than anyone else in this thread understand what it takes to be married and have a successful happy life with another person. In here debating this issue we have a single mother, and a college frat boy, talking about what should/shouldnt be done in marriage. I'd say my advice is much more relevant than theirs.
The reason I brought up those trivial things is because they are trivial, but living together they could cause problems. You'll never know how you will handle someone constantly leaving the seat up until you've delt with it.
I also know its unrealistic to say that you can date someone for 2 years then get engaged with someone for 2 more years and never live together until after the wedding.
With that said ill ask you this, would you propose to a woman and still insist that you live sepertely until the wedding.
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Oh yeah and guess you missed the post where i said communication. Is the most important thing when considering marriage.
BlackElitism
Banned
I more than anyone else in this thread understand what it takes to be married and have a successful happy life with another person. In here debating this issue we have a single mother, and a college frat boy, talking about what should/shouldnt be done in marriage. I'd say my advice is much more relevant than theirs.
The reason I brought up those trivial things is because they are trivial, but living together they could cause problems. You'll never know how you will handle someone constantly leaving the seat up until you've delt with it.
I also know its unrealistic to say that you can date someone for 2 years then get engaged with someone for 2 more years and never live together until after the wedding.
With that said ill ask you this, would you propose to a woman and still insist that you live sepertely until the wedding.
Exactly. Those problems seem petty but they are very real. Outside of infidelity and other major issues, the small ones day in an out are the problems that try your patience.