What's The Pettiest Reason You've Bushed A Chick?

[StickStickly]

yo son, why do bytches do shyt like this?

She probably wanted him to say something to take it to the next step. She's seeing if he sees her that way

Or she sucks at conversations

 

[StickStickly]

not petty but when this domincan chicc started talking about all these pork meals she wanted to eat the next morning (this was like midnight) my dicc got sawft and i never talked to her again

Why tho? Hate pork?

 

[BigMan]

Why tho? Hate pork?

Wi nuh bowcat an wi nuh nyam swine over here ma

 

[flea]

1st. Got with her based off instagram pics and dumped her couple months later cause her teeth was busted. bytch had spaced out dolphin teeth. U check her page you'd be like "damn this bytch pretty and you can see her p*ssy print" but her teeth were jacked.
2nd chick. She would say little girl shyt all the time like "babe my tummy aches" or "I got a boo boo on my arm " thinking I would find that shyt cute. bytch I dated whores who would lie to me for a pooch of cocaine, WHY THE fukk would I find your shyt cute??

 

[Malik1time]

Not really petty but I bush girls who don't show effort to text/contact
I know its the men job to chase but shyt show an effort

 

[Vinny Lupton]

Why tho? Hate pork?

I dont associate with swine eaters outside of work or casual acquaintance situations. I work with alot of Italians so i show tolerance for their nasty cuisine but I'm not kissing some bytch with a pig's azz on her breath. And the way she kept going on about it. bytch I'm uncomfortable, picc up on my vibe

 

[Lady.Libra.]

Three novellas of me fukking up a good thing for minor infractions I coulda just played off but went full retard with

Spoiler: Kept patting my fukking head whenever we took pictures out with friends.

Now I don't run to take pictures for shyt (I got this weird hang up where I feel pictures should be spontaneous not a bunch of mass produced 'pose for the camera in everyday locale shyts) but we was out with friends and I didn't want to be a wet blanket so I just posed along with everyone else to keep the party going.

Go home see the shyts on Facebook. She got her hand on my head in erry, fukking, picture. Not around my shoulder. No face up to my cheek, palm flat, on my head, every picture and it subconsciously had me Pissed off even though I felt I was missing something.

Homeboy calls me up on the phone laughing talking about "Yo, is every picture she doing that to you in dude, and her knuckles like neck and shoulder height to everyone else, it like she putting a grow chart next to yo short ass in each pic. ".
Made excuses Everytime she wanted to go out and she moved on and I stayed Petty, cheekless and Pissed the rest of that summer.

Spoiler: Kept calling me "Daddy."

I done don't like this shyt but she started to get incessant with it and I ain't talking about just the bedroom. Out in public "Ooh, don't forget yo phone on the table 'Daaaa-deee.' " or "Oooh, remind me to pick up them packages from FedEx, Daddy."

I'm like "Will you don't do that, woman ?" but she thought it was fun to tease a breh since certain chicks have a propensity to tease me when they see that they can wiggle into the cracks of my normally easy going persona'n'shyt. Then in comes the baby shyt.

"Oooh, our baby gonna be born wid a full head of hair, cause you got nice soft long hair and so do yo sister too." Me "um..thanks."

"Look how good kids respond to you, she normally don't like new people or dudes for that matter." *Me holding a sleeping baby on my stomach* "Um yeah you just need patience and a phone filled with kids programming"(Veggie tales and the first few seasons of MLPFIM before Cacs put they genitals on it was the shyt)

Then one day l, we at a bar, she meets a friend and they start talking female shyt so I'm cut out of the conversation for a bit so I'm heading to the bathroom. I comeback and her friend calls me "Child Father" out the fukking blue and they giggling and I'm just standing there with a sour face cause I can't play it off at that point. Then a taxi man who was Prolly peeping the scene was like "bruh, unless you want kids. Dip. She sound like the type that gonna poke holes in the condom and start stocking up on maternity shyt the minute she decides it's time. That's how I got my first two."

I ended it that month after she made a comment about how much break I had left in a condom after fukking talking about "Damn, you gonna give a bytch twin sons wid all of that" and couldn't take the not so subtle bludgeoning no more. shyt was messy but I was 23 and thought I had a future ahead of me and wasnt looking to ruin it with kids.

Patched things up like a few years later when I heard she had a miscarriage and went over to console her. We argued, she hit me over the head with a clock radio, we bared some truths and promised to keep in touch more.

She got two cute as hell girls that adore a breh now and I add that to my long list of 'young boy penalties' and she calls me uncle instead of Daddy now as a sarcastic reminder of what could have been

Spoiler: Made my fukking bed after I asked her not to

Was fooling around with this chick and we sorta got serious after a few months.

She was one of them housekeeper, "Momma raised me on how to keep a man pleased" shyt and while I ain't had no problems with the food and the cleaning and looking to iron my clothes'n'shyt, I had to tell her that I don't really need all that done, I do it for myself but I can see she pleased as hell when she does it, so why fight it?

When we got a bit serious she kicked it up a notch, like I'd come home and meet shyt packed away and cleaned, fukk ass pledge all across the place and Glade plug ins and we'd have arguments over it cause she'd get super mad whenever I had to tell her to stop moving my shyt to places she FELT was better or how much I dislike Glade and prefer fukking Fabreeze and she'd get mad pouty or straight up spit venom on a breh.

So now I'm getting mad cause she getting mad at me getting mad at her for getting mad that I don't want a housekeeper, but I'm holding it in, thinking on her feelings cause this shyt is ingrained in her and I need to be more understanding and compromise...and it ain't a bad compromise, Lotsa dudes would kill for a girl cooking and cleaning like this and wouldn't even get mad which in turn causes her to get an attitude....so I'm rolling with it, acting like I'm pleased (I am, sorta now that we good, fukking hard, eating food, cuddling on my couch that now got a matching bedspread and throw pillows) and then one night she makes my bed.

I ain't asked her to and it's how she did it that set me the fukk off. I had a friend over and we playing Xbox, she come over, we all kick it for a bit, then me and her plan on going out somewhere and she goes "lemme make the bed right quick" and I'm like "nah, let's go my breh about to give us a ride, plus I'm coming back in like 20 minutes I'm gonna nap on it."

She like "so you gonna leave your bed unmade? Yo momma ain't taught you better?

I avoid the jab and part of me thinking she only acting up cause my friend in the room but I just go "Yo, my mom had better shyt to do then lecture me on making my bed at 4pm in the GOTDAMN afternoon before I take a trip to fukking Walmart and be back to rumple the shyts up. Dead it, let's go."

So she flips her princess tantrum switch and starts screaming "Fine. Live yo nasty fat ass in a pigsty for all I give a good god damn. " And my breh just there like "" and in my head I'm like "It ain't nowhere near that serious bytch why you doing this in front of company" but I get mean when I argue with chicks over dumb shyt and I honestly feel like I shouldn't even be having this convo so I go "When yuh muddac*nt was whining up under me you ain't no problem with the bed then ,eh? Couldn't hold you down a fukk, is yuh bony ass back throw the sheet all out of proportion, so yes, tuck it ass back under the box spring now, go. Go!"

And I'm getting mad now (Same reason I don't argue with chicks..I don't like the way I feel about 'em during and after) and she kinda modest when it comes to talking about sex in public and this is a deliberate low blow cause it embarrassing for her so she storms off and just goes in the car and my breh like "nikka, she gonna poison you." But at this point in the don't give a fukk I'm like "nikka it's the principle of the thing. Leave the fukking bed alone. " He calls me stupid and laughs we go outside. She in the back seat all mad, I try and apologise, she ignores me, I ignore her we go about what's left of our day.

Fast forward like two weeks. Me and her good again. I'm doing my best to let her have as much of her way as possible when it comes to her tendencies, we get up to go somewhere again, we in the car and she pauses to go to the bathroom.

I'm waiting Inn the car for a bit and I decide, "shyt, I might as well use my own commode cause I ain't wanna have to do the whole hold my breath and blur my eyes in the public restroom shyt if I can help it." So I pop inside, hit the bathroom, I'm out of liquid soap, I hit my room for some bodywash to use and she bent over, tucking my sheets in fixing the bed.

I'm just like in the doorway, she looking at me all like and in my mind I can hear what I always thought was just my thought process speaking to me but in retrospect is either a tumour or some mental illness going "Breh, she pretty much showing you that now or later her will, WILL be done on you regardless" She fixes the bed, claps her hands (I'll never forget that shyt) looks at the bed, looks at me and says "let's go now"

I walked over to the bed and sat on it. Then I slid my feet out my shoes, she asking "what you doing? We ain't going out?" then I started slowly pulling the top corner of the sheet that was jammed up against wall out revealing all the bullshyt petticoats she done went and bought for the thing, and I'm pulling them shyts off too, one by one while she arguing, which turns to screaming until I'm down to the mattress and then for no other reason than spite, I flip the bytch(The Matress!) over and yell as loudly as I could "STOP. fukkING. MAKING. MY. fukkING. BED. IN. THE MIDDLE. OF. THE. fukkING. DAY. WHEN. IT'S. GONNA. GET. USED. AGAIN. WITHIN. THE. HOUR!" Directly in her face, took the nearest sheet, flip it over my shoulders like a cape and proceed to curl up in bed, bundled up under it with my back to her hugging a pillow ignoring (and absorbing) her bewildered abuse until she left me with nothing but a bruised back and the eye squigglies I got from screaming so loud.

Not my finest hour at all and I'm surprised the universe didn't leave me trimless after this stupid bullshyt episode.

Help me.

 

[Vinny Lupton]

Three novellas of me fukking up a good thing for minor infractions I coulda just played off but went full retard with

Spoiler: Kept patting my fukking head whenever we took pictures out with friends.

Now I don't run to take pictures for shyt (I got this weird hang up where I feel pictures should be spontaneous not a bunch of mass produced 'pose for the camera in everyday locale shyts) but we was out with friends and I didn't want to be a wet blanket so I just posed along with everyone else to keep the party going.

Go home see the shyts on Facebook. She got her hand on my head in erry, fukking, picture. Not around my shoulder. No face up to my cheek, palm flat, on my head, every picture and it subconsciously had me Pissed off even though I felt I was missing something.

Homeboy calls me up on the phone laughing talking about "Yo, is every picture she doing that to you in dude, and her knuckles like neck and shoulder height to everyone else, it like she putting a grow chart next to yo short ass in each pic. ".
Made excuses Everytime she wanted to go out and she moved on and I stayed Petty, cheekless and Pissed the rest of that summer.

Spoiler: Kept calling me "Daddy."

I done don't like this shyt but she started to get incessant with it and I ain't talking about just the bedroom. Out in public "Ooh, don't forget yo phone on the table 'Daaaa-deee.' " or "Oooh, remind me to pick up them packages from FedEx, Daddy."

I'm like "Will you don't do that, woman ?" but she thought it was fun to tease a breh since certain chicks have a propensity to tease me when they see that they can wiggle into the cracks of my normally easy going persona'n'shyt. Then in comes the baby shyt.

"Oooh, our baby gonna be born wid a full head of hair, cause you got nice soft long hair and so do yo sister too." Me "um..thanks."

"Look how good kids respond to you, she normally don't like new people or dudes for that matter." *Me holding a sleeping baby on my stomach* "Um yeah you just need patience and a phone filled with kids programming"(Veggie tales and the first few seasons of MLPFIM before Cacs put they genitals on it was the shyt)

Then one day l, we at a bar, she meets a friend and they start talking female shyt so I'm cut out of the conversation for a bit so I'm heading to the bathroom. I comeback and her friend calls me "Child Father" out the fukking blue and they giggling and I'm just standing there with a sour face cause I can't play it off at that point. Then a taxi man who was Prolly peeping the scene was like "bruh, unless you want kids. Dip. She sound like the type that gonna poke holes in the condom and start stocking up on maternity shyt the minute she decides it's time. That's how I got my first two."

I ended it that month after she made a comment about how much break I had left in a condom after fukking talking about "Damn, you gonna give a bytch twin sons wid all of that" and couldn't take the not so subtle bludgeoning no more. shyt was messy but I was 23 and thought I had a future ahead of me and wasnt looking to ruin it with kids.

Patched things up like a few years later when I heard she had a miscarriage and went over to console her. We argued, she hit me over the head with a clock radio, we bared some truths and promised to keep in touch more.

She got two cute as hell girls that adore a breh now and I add that to my long list of 'young boy penalties' and she calls me uncle instead of Daddy now as a sarcastic reminder of what could have been

Spoiler: Made my fukking bed after I asked her not to

Was fooling around with this chick and we sorta got serious after a few months.

She was one of them housekeeper, "Momma raised me on how to keep a man pleased" shyt and while I ain't had no problems with the food and the cleaning and looking to iron my clothes'n'shyt, I had to tell her that I don't really need all that done, I do it for myself but I can see she pleased as hell when she does it, so why fight it?

When we got a bit serious she kicked it up a notch, like I'd come home and meet shyt packed away and cleaned, fukk ass pledge all across the place and Glade plug ins and we'd have arguments over it cause she'd get super mad whenever I had to tell her to stop moving my shyt to places she FELT was better or how much I dislike Glade and prefer fukking Fabreeze and she'd get mad pouty or straight up spit venom on a breh.

So now I'm getting mad cause she getting mad at me getting mad at her for getting mad that I don't want a housekeeper, but I'm holding it in, thinking on her feelings cause this shyt is ingrained in her and I need to be more understanding and compromise...and it ain't a bad compromise, Lotsa dudes would kill for a girl cooking and cleaning like this and wouldn't even get mad which in turn causes her to get an attitude....so I'm rolling with it, acting like I'm pleased (I am, sorta now that we good, fukking hard, eating food, cuddling on my couch that now got a matching bedspread and throw pillows) and then one night she makes my bed.

I ain't asked her to and it's how she did it that set me the fukk off. I had a friend over and we playing Xbox, she come over, we all kick it for a bit, then me and her plan on going out somewhere and she goes "lemme make the bed right quick" and I'm like "nah, let's go my breh about to give us a ride, plus I'm coming back in like 20 minutes I'm gonna nap on it."

She like "so you gonna leave your bed unmade? Yo momma ain't taught you better?

I avoid the jab and part of me thinking she only acting up cause my friend in the room but I just go "Yo, my mom had better shyt to do then lecture me on making my bed at 4pm in the GOTDAMN afternoon before I take a trip to fukking Walmart and be back to rumple the shyts up. Dead it, let's go."

So she flips her princess tantrum switch and starts screaming "Fine. Live yo nasty fat ass in a pigsty for all I give a good god damn. " And my breh just there like "" and in my head I'm like "It ain't nowhere near that serious bytch why you doing this in front of company" but I get mean when I argue with chicks over dumb shyt and I honestly feel like I shouldn't even be having this convo so I go "When yuh muddac*nt was whining up under me you ain't no problem with the bed then ,eh? Couldn't hold you down a fukk, is yuh bony ass back throw the sheet all out of proportion, so yes, tuck it ass back under the box spring now, go. Go!"

And I'm getting mad now (Same reason I don't argue with chicks..I don't like the way I feel about 'em during and after) and she kinda modest when it comes to talking about sex in public and this is a deliberate low blow cause it embarrassing for her so she storms off and just goes in the car and my breh like "nikka, she gonna poison you." But at this point in the don't give a fukk I'm like "nikka it's the principle of the thing. Leave the fukking bed alone. " He calls me stupid and laughs we go outside. She in the back seat all mad, I try and apologise, she ignores me, I ignore her we go about what's left of our day.

Fast forward like two weeks. Me and her good again. I'm doing my best to let her have as much of her way as possible when it comes to her tendencies, we get up to go somewhere again, we in the car and she pauses to go to the bathroom.

I'm waiting Inn the car for a bit and I decide, "shyt, I might as well use my own commode cause I ain't wanna have to do the whole hold my breath and blur my eyes in the public restroom shyt if I can help it." So I pop inside, hit the bathroom, I'm out of liquid soap, I hit my room for some bodywash to use and she bent over, tucking my sheets in fixing the bed.

I'm just like in the doorway, she looking at me all like and in my mind I can hear what I always thought was just my thought process speaking to me but in retrospect is either a tumour or some mental illness going "Breh, she pretty much showing you that now or later her will, WILL be done on you regardless" She fixes the bed, claps her hands (I'll never forget that shyt) looks at the bed, looks at me and says "let's go now"

I walked over to the bed and sat on it. Then I slid my feet out my shoes, she asking "what you doing? We ain't going out?" then I started slowly pulling the top corner of the sheet that was jammed up against wall out revealing all the bullshyt petticoats she done went and bought for the thing, and I'm pulling them shyts off too, one by one while she arguing, which turns to screaming until I'm down to the mattress and then for no other reason than spite, I flip the bytch(The Matress!) over and yell as loudly as I could "STOP. fukkING. MAKING. MY. fukkING. BED. IN. THE MIDDLE. OF. THE. fukkING. DAY. WHEN. IT'S. GONNA. GET. USED. AGAIN. WITHIN. THE. HOUR!" Directly in her face, took the nearest sheet, flip it over my shoulders like a cape and proceed to curl up in bed, bundled up under it with my back to her hugging a pillow ignoring (and absorbing) her bewildered abuse until she left me with nothing but a bruised back and the eye squigglies I got from screaming so loud.

Not my finest hour at all and I'm surprised the universe didn't leave me trimless after this stupid bullshyt episode.

bih pat my head in a picture and we gon have problems animal kingdom rules over here

3. Butt was little.

A little butt is not a long term viable option I dont feel bad, if you had a little dicc she would feel the same it c's like that sometimes

Had hair on her forearms

hair on their toes is a bushable offense to me. bytch if it was some NBA player coming to get you and not me, you'd shave them toe hairs right? to the bushes



didnt bush a chicc over this but I should have: said she liked Kanye/Drake music but didnt like them "as people". bytch, dont be friends with them then. just play the music and stop watching tv

 

[Vinny Lupton]

Feet, the way a girls p*ssy looked, bad lace fronts, saying bab instead of baby I used to look for reasons to bush chicks after I hit once

I don't like when the pwusseh look like that dinosaur that killed Newman from Seinfeld in Jurassic Park 1

all that extra lip action. nah. better go get that taken care of then come bacc

 

[MajorVitaman]

She was a New Jersey giants fan

 

[Taadow]

She said I was dancing too wild. At a party.

Fuuuuuc that.

 

[StickStickly]

These are just things that would turn me off

-sweats too much
- eats too much shyt, like pizza, soda or chips or candy
- any drugs harder than weed
- wears Dad shoes
- refuses any type of clothing or hair style updating
- hating too much on my shows. If I have to hear about how much my show or song sucks every time I watch or listen, it's too negative. I make an effort to find positive in the what he does
- dirty house. Can't stand filthy homes but a slimy keyboard, tv remote, toilet or sink will kill everything
- if he can't make or like a cup of coffee
- if he has a rating system for women
- bad table manners- making grunting or gasping noises when eating or otherwise noisy mouth eating, stuffing food in his mouth and eating too fast, not using napkins and licking fingers, burping, food everywhere on his clothes and mouth
- people who won't try new foods are not for me
- can't speak properly, says "like" and "umm" too much and uses too much trendy slang

 

[Vinny Lupton]

These are just things that would turn me off

- people who won't try new foods are not for me

I feel u
People who are fussy eaters like 4 yr old babies piss me off. The world is big, try some stuff

Except anything swine or made of any type of animal dicc

 

[StickStickly]

I feel u
People who are fussy eaters like 4 yr old babies piss me off. The world is big, try some stuff

Except anything swine or made of any type of animal dicc

I agree I don't like pig at all.

But those people who only eat hamburgers, pizza, spaghetti and chicken tenders piss me off

I love Indian, Ethiopian, Japanese, Thai, Caribbean/Jamaican, and Creole food. French and some German are good too. Mexican is good especially authentic. I can't just eat bland burgers every day of my life.

 

[StickStickly]

Wi nuh bowcat an wi nuh nyam swine over here ma

.

All I understand is no swine and I agree with that . Pig smells fukking terrible and looks like human flesh.