Where Are the Brothas? How the Continued Erasure of Black Men’s Voices on the Marriage Question Perp

[UpAndComing]

This statement is way too absolute, but I didn't highlight this statement because the state of child support law is too often conflated with the rest of family law. I can acknowledge child support law is highly flawed without lumping it in with the rest of family law.



The current state of alimony is set up so that there generally isn't excessive alimony payments, this characterization doesn't apply to most of divorce law. The main exceptions to this are when:

• The woman is a stay at home wife with little to no income.
• The discrepancy in income or wealth between the husband and wife is substantial.

The vast majority of Black men do not have or can afford stay at home wives, and most Black men like most people have wives with similar incomes. And so the alimony boogie man doesn't have a major impact on them.





You have a link to back this up, because it seems like highly unlikely that this would be true, but I could be wrong.

No offense, but you're saying alot of nothing with this post

 

[ogc163]

No offense, but you're saying alot of nothing with this post

Great response.

 

[CarmelBarbie]

This statement is way too absolute, but I didn't highlight this statement because the state of child support law is too often conflated with the rest of family law. I can acknowledge child support law is highly flawed without lumping it in with the rest of family law.



The current state of alimony is set up so that there generally isn't excessive alimony payments, this characterization doesn't apply to most of divorce law. The main exceptions to this are when:

• The woman is a stay at home wife with little to no income.
• The discrepancy in income or wealth between the husband and wife is substantial.

The vast majority of Black men do not have or can afford stay at home wives, and most Black men like most people have wives with similar incomes. And so the alimony boogie man doesn't have a major impact on them.





You have a link to back this up, because it seems like highly unlikely that this would be true, but I could be wrong.

Thank you!!!

I’ve been saying this smh. It’s used as an excuse despite the fact that a quick google search reveals how much on average bw and bm make, as well as the average black household income. Most are not losing tons of money to scorned women in the form of high alimony payments lol. It’s a strange fear that isn’t grounded in reality once we’re honest about the economic situation of the average black married couple who gets divorced.

 

[UpAndComing]

Great response.

Yeah you're response is "Yeah your views on the laws are egregious. I don't agree 100% about your views on marriage and child support laws, but the laws are still in the woman's favor"

The fact that the laws are tipping to ANYONE'S favor is a problem. Who's cares about your views on the severity of the unfair laws

 

[Shadow King]

At the end of the day when a concession is made on the middle class educated black man being an undiscovered BET heartthrob this will change. And until nuptial laws are reformed, men will not have the same incentive or drive to go down the aisle. It is what it is.

 

[Wiseborn]

Thank you!!!

I’ve been saying this smh. It’s used as an excuse despite the fact that a quick google search reveals how much on average bw and bm make, as well as the average black household income. Most are not losing tons of money to scorned women in the form of high alimony payments lol. It’s a strange fear that isn’t grounded in reality once we’re honest about the economic situation of the average black married couple who gets divorced.

This is true is some no fault divorces but if a dude has any assets and it gets testy at the very least the breh gets kicked out of his house but he still usually has to pay the mortgage.

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

oh well shyt if you say so, it must be true.




Black men are 2x more likely to marry a white woman when they do marry.

Black women, and women in general, are attaining more post-secondary education than black men.

In the workforce, black men are less employed than black women, despite earning marginally more on average; a symptom of income inequality in general

Peep the % of all couples for black husband white wife and vice versa. There are more PAWGers than there are wenches. Which elucidates the point of black women choosing to marry outside because there arent as many prospects inside. Despite that they still do marry inside second only to hispanics. My point is, if they choose to marry black men, black men ought to be flexible to keep the family unit together.

if you're going to bring up stats and call bullshyt, put your numbers up or shut the fukk up.

Trust me when I say, TLR doesn’t like studies, stats unless they paint comfy narratives.

 

[IsThatBrothaMouzone?]

I'll repeat what I've said the previous times you've emphasized this point, it doesn't change the conclusions of the numbers . Even with Black women having low overall marriage rates, it does not change or negate the fact that college educated Black women are # 1 when it comes to marrying "down".

Personal observation....Black women marry down in terms of education but usually seek men on their level or higher in terms of looks.

I have never seen a Black couple where the man was way out of his league...unless we are talking famous people.

White women try to date on their level or higher for money/education but might date a notch or two down on looks. Seen enough Seth Rogen-looking white boys with slightly above average white broads.

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

The first barrier is economic in nature. The second barrier is cultural. The third barrier are lies we’ve been fed about each other. The fourth barrier is archaic thinking and misunderstanding of past traditions and the desire to apply them to current times without nuance. Things like colorism, self-hate, desirability, materialism and delusional thinking and entitlement play a role too.

 

[Wiseborn]

Trust me when I say, TLR doesn’t like studies, stats unless they paint comfy narratives.

Ok let's say the stats fit the narrative that Black Men aren't educated, not employed yet somehow still earning more than Black women Could this be due to self employment? According to the stats I'm unemployed and I'd hanging out with a retired Cop whose unemployed too, but we have more money than the average Black Man or Black woman.


Did the stats say that Black Men marry white women more or is it they marry "out" more? Again I'm dating a non ADOS woman but she is Black. Again most groups of Men date and marry "out" more due to social biological reasons.



Why do you think if Black women know or suspect that these stats fit the narrative of the broke and broken Black Man why don't they date out at the rate that asian women do?

 

[Wiseborn]

The first barrier is economic in nature. The second barrier is cultural. The third barrier are lies we’ve been fed about each other. The fourth barrier is archaic thinking and misunderstanding of past traditions and the desire to apply them to current times without nuance. Things like colorism, self-hate, desirability, materialism and delusional thinking and entitlement play a role too.

I'm not discounting what you're saying but what are you saying here? Are you talking about the barriers of Black Men getting with Black women or Black people gettting with non Black people?