Me and my pop reconnected. I got love for him in some ways but, I see him for what he is too. An old broken down man. My mom and my pop had an extra-marital affair which created me. My mom was already divorced. My dad separated. But once I was born, my dad's wife gave him an ultimatum and he chose his family. He had a son (my older half-brother) with his wife. And his mentality was basically this is my real son. "Malik" is my son outside the marriage. I heard him say something along the lines once. I saw him maybe fifteen times growing up. I saw my aunts and uncles (his siblings) more than him. Fast forward a couple years, I graduated college, got into a career, doing well for myself. My half brother ended up in jail for stabbing someone and is still at home at 28, selling drugs and being a delinquent. Now my dad started to come back in my life a few years ago. I appreciate the wisdom he tries to give. Sometimes he'll tell me he's proud of the man i became and i know he's thinking about how much of a fukkup his "real" son is when he says it
Like I said he's a beat down old man about to die and at that age they have regrets about life and shyt. I'm not bitter towards him but, I can't get close to him. All I can think about is how he wasn't around much growing up but, now that I ended up being the better of his two sons, he wants to forge a relationship. I used to want his approval growing up, now i could care less. But I do have some love for him.
with that generic bullshyt.
