Who’s wrong in this situation?
- Thread starter Ashley Banks
- Start date
NZA
LOL
thinking about who is "wrong" is an immature way to think about this.
he should be more physically active in his child's life so he can be sure certain things are done. shopping is work, and if he isnt willing to do more of that work, he has less say in how it gets done. within reason, of course. if she is getting her nails done or buying jordans instead of a backpack, there is a problem. if his son's wants and needs are met and the surplus is getting his siblings a pair of shoes, that is not a serious problem.
he also should understand that these are his kid's siblings. they matter to his son's emotional wellbeing and they will be in his life when his dad dies of old age. a certain amount of care for those other kids can create a healthy environment for his own son. driving a wedge between his son and the siblings he actually lives with is shortsided. you dont have to interact with them, but a little bit of your support being used to keep the rest from falling through the cracks is probably going to benefit your own son in a myriad of ways
this isnt the best family structure but if you are in it, you might as well try to do it right
he should be more physically active in his child's life so he can be sure certain things are done. shopping is work, and if he isnt willing to do more of that work, he has less say in how it gets done. within reason, of course. if she is getting her nails done or buying jordans instead of a backpack, there is a problem. if his son's wants and needs are met and the surplus is getting his siblings a pair of shoes, that is not a serious problem.
he also should understand that these are his kid's siblings. they matter to his son's emotional wellbeing and they will be in his life when his dad dies of old age. a certain amount of care for those other kids can create a healthy environment for his own son. driving a wedge between his son and the siblings he actually lives with is shortsided. you dont have to interact with them, but a little bit of your support being used to keep the rest from falling through the cracks is probably going to benefit your own son in a myriad of ways
this isnt the best family structure but if you are in it, you might as well try to do it right
Ashley Banks
All I ever wanted was the world
Can’t I have a plat thread for ONCE in my life smfh
Ashley Banks
All I ever wanted was the world
It feels like you're making this a black and white issue when there are a couple shades of grey mixed in. By providing for the other ill-begotten children she is taking away, disadvantaging the kid whose crime is having a dad that mutually agreed to invest in his son's education. The first part is neglectful and the latter is fraudulent.
After her scheming, she no longer has a card to play for her next financial emergency. He'll get his son what he needs himself and the rest can be left up to the mom and her baby daddies. Furthermore, if the reason he gave her $600 was because he wasn't around as much as he would like, I doubt he would become an attentive father, knowing his kid is learning from a mother that has displayed short sighted behavior with a certain low-cunning.
richaveli83
Veteran
She's wrong but if I was the father I wouldn't be too upset because she didn't spend the money on BS, she spent it towards all the children. I'll just make sure in the future that I'll buy the stuff for my child instead of giving her the money.
Ashley Banks
All I ever wanted was the world
He's not wrong, nor is she 
But if i were him i'd be a little
too.
But if i were him i'd be a little
too.
Ashley Banks
All I ever wanted was the world
Now imagine if your bm came to you and said she couldn’t afford to buy the other kids stuff and ask to borrow some money for them too or asked if she could use some of the money for the other kids you’d be way less upset, right?
It Isn’t the mans responsibility to take care of the other kids. But at the same time, it’s fukked up to have one child that has much more than the other two. It’s bound to cause some tension and sibling rivalry. The mom needs to put the deadbeats on child support if possible, but if they really ain’t shyt and not in a position to give her child support, she’s caught between a rock and a hard place. each side can be seen as wrong just as much as they can be seen as justifiable. Depending on who’s interpreting, biases on child support, single mom, etc. Yet the kids in the scenario are the ones that this impacts the most. That’s why I dislike these threads. People can sit from their high horse and say what they would do hypothetically because they are not faced with the situation. I feel blessed enough to not be in this situation, because it’s easier to talk shyt when your not in it.
Hopefully the mother and father of these children can find a way to resolve this situation, and future ones like this that may continue to come up. Just watch who you have children with ladies. And fellas if you want to avoid this situation? Probably don’t impregnate a woman that has multiple ain’t shyt baby daddy’s. The thing about child support is that once it leaves your hands to go to hers, she can use that money as she wishes. Don’t like that she didn’t use it the way you wanted? Tough luck. Government doesn’t care.
All you gmb brehs who still plan to have kids, this is something to consider too.
Hopefully the mother and father of these children can find a way to resolve this situation, and future ones like this that may continue to come up. Just watch who you have children with ladies. And fellas if you want to avoid this situation? Probably don’t impregnate a woman that has multiple ain’t shyt baby daddy’s. The thing about child support is that once it leaves your hands to go to hers, she can use that money as she wishes. Don’t like that she didn’t use it the way you wanted? Tough luck. Government doesn’t care.
All you gmb brehs who still plan to have kids, this is something to consider too.
Cel 510 kid ados forever
Veteran
It Isn’t the mans responsibility to take care of the other kids. But at the same time, it’s fukked up to have one child that has much more than the other two. It’s bound to cause some tension and sibling rivalry. The mom needs to put the deadbeats on child support if possible, but if they really ain’t shyt and not in a position to give her child support, she’s caught between a rock and a hard place. each side can be seen as wrong just as much as they can be seen as justifiable. Depending on who’s interpreting, biases on child support, single mom, etc. Yet the kids in the scenario are the ones that this impacts the most. That’s why I dislike these threads. People can sit from their high horse and say what they would do hypothetically because they are not faced with the situation. I feel blessed enough to not be in this situation, because it’s easier to talk shyt when your not in it.
Hopefully the mother and father of these children can find a way to resolve this situation, and future ones like this that may continue to come up. Just watch who you have children with ladies. And fellas if you want to avoid this situation? Probably don’t impregnate a woman that has multiple ain’t shyt baby daddy’s. The thing about child support is that once it leaves your hands to go to hers, she can use that money as she wishes. Don’t like that she didn’t use it the way you wanted? Tough luck. Government doesn’t care.
All you gmb brehs who still plan to have kids, this is something to consider too.
I wouldnt mind helping the other 2 personally
I said $300 total. Meaning you only have $300 to spend on all of your child. The father gives you $2000 for his children only.
Maintaining a good relationship with the father is important to me but not to the extent where I am going to let my children go without to please him. Asking is fine, never said you shouldn't. But if it's the difference where one child goes without and I have the means to avoid that I am choosing my child every time.
Again, dude can solve this problem by taking the child out himself.
If you think she's wrong cool. But I don't. I understand why he is upset but you can't dictated the spending in another household.