Why are men avoiding marriage?

satam55

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Most men would have no problem getting married. Problem is most of the guys women are actually going for ONLY in the top 20% already went off the market in college or made the cost benefit analysis and realized the bachelor life is the better option.

Now I'm seeing all these female dating coaches like Nicole Michelle and Sara Lena teaching "feminity" to women under the guise of acting traditional to snag a man on the road to 6 figures or higher that is willing to accept their wife being a stay at home mom.

Like they werent the main culprits talking about being strong and independent for the past few decades:mjlol: That 50+ hour workweek and bills piling up is humbling them.
:dead: I had to Google this.
 

A1aaa

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I'd strongly consider marriage only if my spouse came from enough wealth that it would drastically exceed my current comfort level with my income as a professional. That's in conjunction to being intelligent, grounded, etc.

Women will let you know what they really think about you when they're not financially reliant/dependent on you.

If you're a single male and have bread, short term dating (3-6 months) when the spark, fun and intrigue is still there is GOAT :banderas:


Avoiding the drama and fukkery of long term relationships:banderas:

Being perpetually in the honey moon phase :banderas:

My real goons understand :banderas:
 

The Coochie Assassin

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I'd strongly consider marriage only if my spouse came from enough wealth that it would drastically exceed my current comfort level with my income as a professional. That's in conjunction to being intelligent, grounded, etc.

Women will let you know what they really think about you when they're not financially reliant/dependent on you.

If you're a single male and have bread, short term dating (3-6 months) when the spark, fun and intrigue is still there is GOAT :banderas:


Avoiding the drama and fukkery of long term relationships:banderas:

Being perpetually in the honey moon phase :banderas:

My real goons understand :banderas:
Yeah I been doing mini relationships for years now. Not only do you get to experience more women and enjoy your short time with them, you actually learn how to be a better partner because you aren't stuck in a 3-4 year relationship where you're only trying to satisfy one woman. I usually date and enjoy 2-3 women every year and get to know them on a deep, personal level.
 

HarlemHottie

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#ADOS
I hope more black women begin to see their worth and understand that they do not have to be a lifelong girlfriend or single mother. They can find a loving and respectful man who desires a spouse and children just as they do.

My ex girlfriend got married last year. Church girl, very sweet person.

But I’ve came on her face about 4 or 5 times since she’s been married. That alone confirmed that marriage isn’t for me.
Sis, I hear you and you know I dapped + repped your first post itt. However...

Modern women aren't worth the effort. Yeah, I said it. :francis:

1. Men don't want ran through p*ssy (mouth, etc). You might say, hey, x# number ain't high. But, to men, it's always too high. Yes, I know it's crazy and logistically unfeasible (for women to be virginal while, simultaneously, there are enough women to fukk for sport). It don't matter.
Now consider how many men the avg modern woman has fukked btwn the ages of 17- 30. :usure:

2. Modern women have no 'womanly' skills and most are feminine only in the most surface-level way possible. There is no softness to them. They're aggressive and mercenary, even toward their man.

For both of those reasons, there's no reason for a man to invest in such women. They're ran through and have nasty attitudes (to men). Even if a man wanted to be married, he'd have to search high and low for a woman who was worth it and had the appropriate skill set. I feel bad for everybody. It's a sad situation. You're fighting the good fight, but, ime, modern women won't even appreciate your efforts. A feminist would look at this thread and say, "fukk yall broke nikkas, don't nobody wanna marry yall anyway!! :pacspit:"

:francis:
 

Deus

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If you split up instead of stay together, and no children are involved, lord bless! You're not wasting your time and heart-ache.

If you have children, then you do indeed have that lifelong commitment that even state-sponsored marriage can't guarantee. Having kids is REAL commitment -- REAL marriage -- TRULY "until death do you part" instead of just words. Let's base our commitments on REAL stuff like that, rather than "white gowns" (who's the virgin?), diamonds (a goddamn marketing scam), and vows you KNOW you will break when you tire of one another.

You CAN'T break your commitment to your children (unlike divorce, there's actual social stigma attached to that) and there is NO ESCAPING the bureau of child support. That's REAL commitment, and we should start basing our "marriages" on stuff like that.

I didn't say give up weddings (or commitment parties or commitment ceremonies) if that's what you're into. I didn't say give up commitment. I said use the anti-marriage trend as an opportunity to SAVE MONEY and SAVE SILLINESS by keeping the state (and the church if you're not truly feeling the church) OUT of it. Use the anti-marriage trend in our culture to establish genuine working traditions with real taboos, instead of shyt that just enriches gown sellers, diamond merchants, the church, the state, etc.

Don't let some female drag you down stupid lane if you KNOW it's stupid. We black men need to assert our will over the direction of our culture. If you leave it up to women, you'll get exactly what you're getting.

They love marriage, but they love "scandal" too. You should be saying FOOH with that, and encouraging true men to manage relations on smarter terms.
"You CAN'T break your commitment to your children (unlike divorce, there's actual social stigma attached to that) and there is NO ESCAPING the bureau of child support"

Yes you can break your commitment to your kids and you can escape child support.

Ask my "father"

More smart dumb nikka mumbling
View media item 17641
Marriage is the only thing keeping us from total babylon
 

Easy-E

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The thing that bothers me is that you have people who aren't really christians/muslims/etc talking about marriage. You don't devote any real time to the faith, but you are either forcing your partner to get married or fighting against marriage....:what:

There is marriage in the secular space :comeon:

My fear with marrying a "church girl" is the same as marrying a woman who ain't been in years

But, sisters who go to church be the same ones on some "love ain't enough," shyt like the most revered figure wasn't a poor man who's spirit and purpose was all he had and what we're taught to follow

I'd claim religion, but, I DEFINITELY don't wanna marry

I don't judge and understand the pull of consumerism and materialism that makes people life purpose "taking" and gathering titles (wife, mother, CEO) in the place of actual happiness

Find me a woman that would be happy with me in a hotel after losing my job, hold her still so I can purpose

In 2019, women may as well pass out job applications to be with them

And I'm a black man with a degree, gov't job, new car, own apartment and inheritance in my future

Marriage isn't about love, today...really never was more than a utility

You can add religious obligation and it's the same, IMO, in terms of the issues (though religious people stay married longer, but, we both know why)
 

Easy-E

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I told myself I didn't want to argue about marriage, coming back to thecoli after a break

Fam, this shyt in a social construct

It was never meant to be anything more than a social obligation

We listen to our parents repeat what our grandparents told them about a time WAAAYYYY before ours

The world is different and women are struggling to demand traditionalist values on men as they continue on as modern women

Add the economic situation we ignore about this country--we love to ignore

Now, I'm not watching some diet alt right dude

But, relationships before marriage are fukked up

Disclaimer; No MGTOW shyt

 

panopticon

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Sis, I hear you and you know I dapped + repped your first post itt. However...

Modern women aren't worth the effort. Yeah, I said it. :francis:

1. Men don't want ran through p*ssy (mouth, etc). You might say, hey, x# number ain't high. But, to men, it's always too high. Yes, I know it's crazy and logistically unfeasible (for women to be virginal while, simultaneously, there are enough women to fukk for sport). It don't matter.
Now consider how many men the avg modern woman has fukked btwn the ages of 17- 30. :usure:

2. Modern women have no 'womanly' skills and most are feminine only in the most surface-level way possible. There is no softness to them. They're aggressive and mercenary, even toward their man.

For both of those reasons, there's no reason for a man to invest in such women. They're ran through and have nasty attitudes (to men). Even if a man wanted to be married, he'd have to search high and low for a woman who was worth it and had the appropriate skill set. I feel bad for everybody. It's a sad situation. You're fighting the good fight, but, ime, modern women won't even appreciate your efforts. A feminist would look at this thread and say, "fukk yall broke nikkas, don't nobody wanna marry yall anyway!! :pacspit:"

:francis:
This.

It's a rolling disaster, and nobody seems to have any solutions.

I try and stay away from stoking the gender wars though - as time goes on, I think it's really this economic / social / demographic environment that's driving all the negative behaviors by both men and women.

When broad social indicators are in drastic decline, there's usually an explanation beyond individual character that better fits the data. People are struggling to adapt to a rapidly changing / deteriorating environment, and they just can't keep up.
 

Huellz Santana

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Da city where the skinny nikkas die
  1. People are highly indivualistic & mistakenly believe that they can get farther in life without a spouse.
  2. Men falsely believe that single life is always the better option when statistics show that married men live longer, are healthier & happier than their single counterparts.
  3. Men internalize the widely perceived & promoted imbalance of the divorce court system. They don’t realize that the vast majority of them are not in a tax bracket where they would be the victim of any alimony payments at all.
  4. Too many people didn’t grow up around healthy marriages, so they are lost when it comes to choosing a partner. This is for women AND men. The people that were exposed to healthy relationships then have to exhaust themselves to teach others healthy boundaries...while having their own learnings to work on (I’m sorry, but this is basically double duty).
  5. Too many people believe that child rearing between coparents vs healthy married couples are created equal.
BONUS: Why women aren’t getting married...
  1. Women keep giving husband privileges to boyfriends. A boyfriend does not, and will never, deserve the gift of continuing his legacy through your womb. Cohabitation ain’t working in the best interest for women either...but if you must, have a timeline for marriage & stick to it or leave.
  2. Women need to learn when to leave a dead end relationship & stop wasting their own damn time.


these are popular talking points but I disagree with them. men aren't getting married because men are no longer employed in jobs that will help them take care of a family.

the more wealth a man has, the more likely he is to get married. that is because men don't want to settle down if they haven't accomplished their goals yet. society is making this harder and harder and marriage suffers. my friend group is largely black brehs who've got grad degrees and stable careers... guess what, they're all married or on the path to be married. hell I'm 34 and just now got to a point where marriage made sense for me economically

unfortunately, men like us are the anomaly.​
 

Koba St

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  1. People are highly indivualistic & mistakenly believe that they can get farther in life without a spouse.
  2. Men falsely believe that single life is always the better option when statistics show that married men live longer, are healthier & happier than their single counterparts.
  3. Men internalize the widely perceived & promoted imbalance of the divorce court system. They don’t realize that the vast majority of them are not in a tax bracket where they would be the victim of any alimony payments at all.
  4. Too many people didn’t grow up around healthy marriages, so they are lost when it comes to choosing a partner. This is for women AND men. The people that were exposed to healthy relationships then have to exhaust themselves to teach others healthy boundaries...while having their own learnings to work on (I’m sorry, but this is basically double duty).
  5. Too many people believe that child rearing between coparents vs healthy married couples are created equal.
BONUS: Why women aren’t getting married...
  1. Women keep giving husband privileges to boyfriends. A boyfriend does not, and will never, deserve the gift of continuing his legacy through your womb. Cohabitation ain’t working in the best interest for women either...but if you must, have a timeline for marriage & stick to it or leave.
  2. Women need to learn when to leave a dead end relationship & stop wasting their own damn time.
Shut the fukk up :mjlol:
 
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