Why do people choose work over a family?

[xXOGLEGENDXx]

To me it makes no sense. This goes for both men and women. That job means nothing when you get to the end. I've yet to hear about somebody about to die and wishing they had more time to meet with clients and submit reports.

I have an aunt in her 50s who got laid off during covid from her bank. She worked there for decades building up becoming an executive. Never got married and never had children because she was very education and career driven. She got laid off with a severance and is no longer tied to that bank she worked so hard for. No plaques are put up in her name.

I only say this because I just seen Condoleezza Rice on TV at the Broncos game and it dawned on me that I don't even remember what her position in the government was. So I looked her up and also saw she was an only child. Never been married and no kids.

So she hasn't had a living parent for 25 years.
She doesn't have any brothers or sisters.
She doesn't have a husband.
She doesn't have any kids and grandkids.
That shiit has to be hella lonely.

I understand working hard, but that shiit never lasts forever. Not saying to ignore work, but I just can't fathom having a growing family and deciding to spend 80 hours of my week at an office around people I don't give two shiits about. Or not even having a family at all.

 

[lowkey0z]

people are driven by different things at the end of the day - many times it falls down to power and privilege

based on your examples, those are career driven women who want to climb the corporate ladder to gain more power & privilege, family was never part of the plan (i know, not the best plan for some)

the cost of living is crazy nowadays too, having people at their jobs all day just to stay afloat

and then theres people who hate the families they made lol parked in front of the whip for 30 minutes before walking the crib type nikkas

 

[Sir Jebbi]

to pay bills/rent.. if there was a UBI that could cover rent, who would even go to work..

 

[FTBS]

A lot of people come from fukked up families or dont have family like that. So they have to go get it themselves because nobody else is gonna help and who are they slowing down for? Cant miss something you never had.

Then there is our fukked up, psychopath friendly economic structure. If you supporting a family, they need and want shyt. Its only gotten harder and harder for the average person to be able to provide that. Time was a 18 year old with a HS diploma and no skills could walk into a plant or factory and sign up for 30 years of a livable wage and a pension. He was making enough to singehandedly support a family of 4 or 5. And this is straight 40 hours. Now a most folks with degrees can't even afford that alone.

Then you got this boss/hustle/look at me culture that makes the easily influenced and misguided and insecure among us (aka the majority) feel like having a gig and a comfortable living aint enough.

Lastly, look at the current state of relationships. People aint even trying to come together as couples. They damn sure aint tryna build no families. Chicks wanna go on trips every week, and eat out at fancy restaurants daily, and wear all the latest designer BS. Dudes wanna run up in everybody with no commitment and ride around in the latest overpriced over-compensation whip.

Literally ever aspect of our culture is anti family or disregards it.

 

[Kiyoshi-Dono]

Most people don’t choose work over family
If a person has a loving spouse, good kids and decent core family
They want to spend every second with said people
But we are in a world of consumption and capitalism
You can’t survive without working
You can’t send your kids to a good school with out currency
You can’t have a decent house without currency
You can’t travel or retire without currency
So people have to do what the system designed
If we could go back to barter system
Then you would see a change but that ain’t happening any time soon
Also people bought in on titles and prestige of their careers not realizing none that shyt matters in the grand scheme of things
Yeah on paper you are a doctor
But when you die you are still worm food

 

[Meowth tote da Uzi]

Because prices are fukked and thats what you gotta do to survive. Duh. You think the powers that be want citizens in the house teaching the family values. No they want wage slaves and discord.

 

[Doobie Doo]

They don't like their family

 

[UpAndComing]

A family's love doesn't pay the Bills

And ironically, a family can't be nurtured if bills are not paid

 

[Chrishaune]

they spend your whole childhood indoctrinating you.

 

[WIA20XX]

I just seen Condoleezza Rice on TV

Maybe Condi could have gotten it when she was in college/grad school

But I can only speak for my experience in DC/NYC - but a lot of these ambitious, educated, and career oriented Black women are not facially attractive, bodily attractive, or attractive personality wise. especially the latter. Especially the personalities. There's something about law school, business school, and graduate programs that make a lot of women insufferable. A degree doesn't make someone intelligent or smart or witty or interesting.

A lot of y'all here on The Coli keep thinking there's a lid for every pot - that some bruh would gladly smash Stacey Abrams if she'd just come down off her high horse - but based on dealing with these broads almost exclusively for more than decade, I have to disagree.

A lot Some of these chicks CANNOT GIVE IT AWAY.

And most of these chicks are not trying to give it away.

She ain't getting no kinds of interest or offers, but Breh still gotta go through all types of obstacles and run mad gauntlets. (only for the "goal" at the end to be quite wack)

 

[Seoul Gleou]

Because at a certain point, what you do becomes who you are.

But knowing that work means you are a replaceable number and family means you are an irreplaceable member, should change that mindset

 

[Treblemaka]

Id love to have a family. Need a wife first.



Loneliness is more about your psychological make up and the communities you chose. You dont need to have a wife and kids to have a strong social circle. You can also have a wife and kids and be the loneliest person on the planet. Loneliness is one of the stupidest reasons to have a family. Some people are driven by their goals and their desire to be productive as they see it. They find fulfillment in those things. They often find their "extended family" though what they do, not who they share genetics with.

Most people are too selfish, have too much baggage, and lack the discipline to raise a well prepared child. If procreation took the same effort getting a degree does the human race wouldve died a long time ago. 70% of our children are born because "fukking is fun" rather than any planning or structure.

Id rather people who dont plan for it dont have children. Sadly most children are born for selfish reasons and the way they are raised reflects that.

 

[Elim Garak]

Not everyone wants a family of their own. I don't understand why this is a recurring thread and why people struggle to understand this?

 

[MikelArteta]

Family first

 

[CopiousX]

To me it makes no sense. This goes for both men and women. That job means nothing when you get to the end. I've yet to hear about somebody about to die and wishing they had more time to meet with clients and submit reports.

I have an aunt in her 50s who got laid off during covid from her bank. She worked there for decades building up becoming an executive. Never got married and never had children because she was very education and career driven. She got laid off with a severance and is no longer tied to that bank she worked so hard for. No plaques are put up in her name.

I only say this because I just seen Condoleezza Rice on TV at the Broncos game and it dawned on me that I don't even remember what her position in the government was. So I looked her up and also saw she was an only child. Never been married and no kids.

So she hasn't had a living parent for 25 years.
She doesn't have any brothers or sisters.
She doesn't have a husband.
She doesn't have any kids and grandkids.
That shiit has to be hella lonely.

I understand working hard, but that shiit never lasts forever. Not saying to ignore work, but I just can't fathom having a growing family and deciding to spend 80 hours of my week at an office around people I don't give two shiits about. Or not even having a family at all.

Not everyone cares about the same things. Family is not a universal passion. It's a personal values thing. The same way you care so much about your family , is the same way somebody else cares so much about using their life to save elephants or being the best in the region at their job or being the best bball player in the league or slaving in a lab to cure lymphoma or inventing a faster processor. All these non-family things bring joy to the people that pursue them that's equivalent to what you get from your family.

And each of these activities comes with a lifelong companionship of comrades on the same path. Believe me when I tell you that partners who built a law firm together are much closer to each other than they are to their own families. Same could be said for researchers who have worked together for decades trying to get a better transister or make an mRNA vaccine. For example , a work focused woman like Mae Jemison is close as hell to the astronauts she risked her life with. So the loneliness angle is kind of weird.



The family focus was only the default earlier in human history because there was no other option than to rely on family to work the farm or provide free childcare/eldercare.The change you're seeing in the last two decades is because society is productive and wealthy enough to actually have a choice. Notice how it's never poor people choosing options beyond family because they have no choice.

Not everyone wants a family of their own. I don't understand why this is a recurring thread and why people struggle to understand this?

A lack of independent thinkers.

a lot of people have [what they want in life ] dictated to them early in life by other people and just accept it. And they assume everyone else did the same thing.


These will be the same folks having midlife crisis(es) in their 50s and 40s after a divorce or when their kids don't like them because they have nothing else in life to ground themselves to other than their family. There is also this false assumption that says just because you make a family, you will keep it until your silver years.