Why do women keep remarking that I’m quiet at work?

[Booker T Garvey]

I feel like if a young black male isn’t all extra and being the “entertainment” for people he’s automatically labeled “quiet” which is unfair. We can never just sit back and mind our damn business

Black folk usually seen as the “entertainment” aka tapdancers at work. We always gotta be the loudest and always in the middle of work drama. Or you got homo flamboyant nikkas always “yassing” nshyt

We arent ever taken seriously. We always supposed to be on playtime

A black man being reserved = threatening to them.

^^^ ALL OF THIS. and i'm only on the first page!!

I work in corporate america and have for 10 years, I've got co-workers that NEVER SAY shyt unless it's work related, no small talk, no friendly shyt nothing and they've been there longer than me!

I even have one that is from the middle east somewhere (but he looks white) - he takes everyone who asks where he's from to HR, he's KNOWN for that

with us, they want to get a "feel" for us..want to know where our heads are at...are we gonna be trouble makers? clowns/c00ns? militant? play ball? etc etc..

shyt is racist as fukk

 

[ThrobbingHood]

When it comes down to it, I can see the arguments from both sides.

Yes, we as black people are judged more harshly for being reserved in a work environment if we’re not over the top with our antics.

However, in the corporate world, you will not advance unless you’re friendly and social with your staff. That’s just how the world works. The guy who gets the highest sales/contracts is not necessarily going to get promoted.

The guy who has average sales but is loved by everyone, who keeps the staff motivated and gets involved in all the activities outside of work, will easily progress up the ladder.

We’re Black so there’s already one strike against us. Who do you think they’re going to hire? The quiet reserved black guy who’s the best when it comes to numbers but doesn’t hang out after work for drinks.

Or the white guy who they can relate to more, hang out with and be pals with?

It’s a bitter pill to swallow but that’s the world we live in. Hence why I’m my own boss. I knew I’m not the person to kiss ass and give a fukk about how somesone’s day has been so I never expected to advance far in the corporate world.

Pick your poison.

 

[Shykai]

Well, I defo wasn't expecting the thread to end up like this. Reading the thread title I really didn't think it was that deep.

Your manager just seems to be a talkative person who just made an observation about you and that was it. "You don't speak up much" is not "you need to talk more and be a source of entertainment for me" or whatever some posters in here thing it means. They just said what they said, end of story- they probably forgot they said it the minute it left their mouth. It's nothing got to do with them having preconceptions about how you're supposed to behave as a black man, it really is not that deep.


You can be as reserved as you like, nobody's denying you that op. But as an introvert bear in mind that extroverts like to try to break people out of there "shells" or whatever but that doesn't mean you have to change. It's a personality thing, not a race thing.

 

[KOohbt]

Who gives a fukk what a bytch think at work

Or anywhere

 

[Vandelay]

Some of the women at work where saying that about me last night when I was punching out

Bout 87% sure they were lowkey flirting with me tho

If it was a chick...she was flirting.

If it was a dude, a white man especially your superior...you might have to worry about your job.

 

[Karb]

You're paid to work, not have bullshyt chit chat with your co-workers.

Sounds like you want these young black men to be dancing monkeys to appease their associates.

That kind of mentality might work in a warehouse job breh

Smalltalk is super important if you're working an office job. Not just for black people either.

 

[Karb]

As for OP, I think they like you breh

 

[newworldafro]

double

 

[newworldafro]

That could be it a bit too cause she grabbed my arm today, like she grabbed my bicep joking around (I’m not cut or anything either) it was off putting
I feel like women feel more open in the work space, they seem more ready to initiate conversation and can just force it easily.

Breh & Breh Associates got a #MeTooDawg case.

Of course if OP realizes he could potentially smash, case is null and void.

 

[Cynic]

so I’ve been working at Best Buy for about a month and today my manager remarked “you know you don’t speak much”
Before I’ve worked in a flower shop and an outback steak house and I’ve heard the same thing (varied delivery) about 2-3 times in each of those places. Other men don’t make that remark for the most part, if anything they just joke around with me and I speak up. I don’t really see the point in talking often at work. I don’t get paid much anyway and I’m just part time so talk feels pretty cheap to me in that environment. Not a sociopath tho, but I’d rather keep to myself, easier to focus.
Is this a common thing where you guys work or have worked? Does silence from a man make women uncomfortable? I’m Curious cause women only really ever point out my quietness on the job.

Women are natural instigators... don't take what they say personally or serious
and you'll be fine.

 

[Jim Cornette]

im a good lookin nikka and all the white women i come across in the workplace love me but frustrated as hell i give them cave bytches no looks.. whilst all the dusty white dudes go crazy over em


but yeah you gotta find that medium... you gotta talk to the whites at work to keep it cordial but just don't go deep into your personal life or make out you're doin better than them

 

[MikelArteta]

Good morning
Closes door puts headphone in

Goodnight

 

[mortuus est]

Let me begin by saying fukk ALL WHITE WOMEN

These bytches would be the first to snitch on you or accuse you of hitting on them if you talked to them but they literally get offended when a black man isn’t drooling over them or entertaining them, fukk them, I don’t speak to them, I don’t look at them, I don’t hold the door open for them. Nothing but a bunch of passive aggressive backstabbing racist snitches

RIP Emmett Till

 

[J Money]

I respect that. Everybody is not meant to get far in life. We need the antisocial cogs too.

There's more ways to "get far in life" than tapdancing for cacs at work fam

 

[Coli Bot]

Yup I dealt with this at my job too. I did my job and talked when I needed to and even joked around but to some of the women in the office they thought I was just the most reserved and quiet person on earth.

Same. I don't get it either.