Why do women keep remarking that I’m quiet at work?

[jwonder]

Hell even with a black dominated workforce I'm sure it would be all the same shyt having to be social to get ahead

Maybe but it's more enjoyable to work with your own people.

The main reason most aren't talking at work is because they work with corny ass white people. They literally have no culture. They are extremely lame which is why they are culture vultures

 

[Ezekiel 25:17]

I'm an introvert and don't feel the need to talk much, depends on who I'm around.

It's always women who bring it up, dudes never bother you about it

 

[Canon]

theres like 3 people i chat with but i pretty much keep to myself at work

 

[Ezekiel 25:17]

I’m taking a contrarian position from most posters and will say that this has nothing to do with race.

OP, if you want to get ahead in life, you will learn that those that do, most of the time, are not the smartest people in the room. The folks that are the most successful are the people that have superior social capital.

I work in an all-white high paying industry and it’s the same for everyone. My job and many others take the “fit” approach to hiring. We only hire a candidate based off of them being a good fit. Most of the time, this means the right “social” fit. Because we work long stressful hours, they want to make sure that the people they onboard will get on well with the team. The question is asked, “is this candidate someone in which we would want to be stuck 8 hours at an airport with?”

If you are a dull non-social person then the answer will be no and you’re not getting hired. The question is loaded because it implies that a good candidate will have similar hobbies and interests as the team (real hobbies like sports, traveling, and outdoor activities), that they are social, fun, and engaging enough to help the stressful long day go by quicker, and that they are outgoing and proactive in building/establishing/parlaying relationships. Introverted people and those that lack social capital get passed up 100% of the time.

And this a reason why there are not many blacks in my industry because so often we take the “I just go in to do my job and not make friends approach” which is easy to spot in a person and will get you dinged immediately for a position.

My advice would be to be a bit more proactive in being engaging and improving your social skills. Take every opportunity to build those skills, at work, school, bars, or parties. Everywhere. It will only improve your lot later in life. It’s not about “uncomfortableness” it’s about people wanting to be around fun people to pass the time with, especially if you’re working a shytty job.

Gonna disagree with you on that getting ahead in life thing. Unless it's regarding building your own business, most people bring no value to you

Btw, getting ahead in life to me is not having to work 9-5, having passive income, investing in stocks, etc. Most office folks don't know anything about that, especially gossipy women

If I want to get ahead I'm going to meetings outside of work with like minded people

 

[DaRealness]

The only time I really talk with cac coworkers like that is when I want to network as a stepping stone for my career.

If it doesn't benefit me then I'm silent as a church mouse.

Cacs especially don't like a silent black male because they can't figure you out.

 

[invalid]

Gonna disagree with you on that getting ahead in life thing. Unless it's regarding building your own business, most people bring no value to you

Btw, getting ahead in life to me is not having to work 9-5, having passive income, investing in stocks, etc. Most office folks don't know anything about that, especially gossipy women

If I want to get ahead I'm going to meetings outside of work with like minded people

Before I tell you that you have poor comprehension skills, tell me what skill in that post I’m saying is the key to getting ahead in life?

 

[Ezekiel 25:17]

Before I tell you that you have poor comprehension skills, tell me what skill in that post I’m saying is the key to getting ahead in life?

You said to get ahead in life you need to be a social fit with good social skills at work

Op if you want to get ahead in life, you will learn that those that do, most of the time, are not the smartest people in the room. The folks that are the most successful are the people that have superior social capital.

Getting ahead in life to me is not having to work many hours if any at all. Most office folks aren't about that. I'm social, but unless it really benefits me getting ahead I really don't care

 

[invalid]

You said to get ahead in life you need to be a social fit with good social skills at work




Getting ahead in life to me is not having to work many hours if any at all. Most office folks aren't about that. I'm social, but unless it really benefits me getting ahead I really don't care

Ok. Well I’m glad I didn’t say what I was gonna say. But you still partially misunderstood.

I said getting ahead in “life” not just getting ahead at “work”.

The people that are the most successful in “life” are the people that are the most social, and not necessarily the smartest. That skill isn’t only applicable for the working enviroment.

But even still, Its typically the smartest people that work for the most social.

 

[Ezekiel 25:17]

Breh you wildin

I gotta get to the point where I can just drop ether like this in a corporate environment and not worry about my money

That's the dream Can't say shyt now cuz you need the money

 

[Ezekiel 25:17]

Ok. Well I’m glad I didn’t say what I was gonna say. But you still partially misunderstood.

I said getting ahead in “life” not just getting ahead at “work”.

The people that are the most successful in “life” are the people that are the most social, and not necessarily the smartest. That skill isn’t only applicable for the working enviroment.

But even still, Its typically the smartest people that work for the most social.

We're talking work environments here, your post was 80% work environment, this thread is about the work environment. Just because someone ain't social at work doesn't mean they not social outside.

Brehs might have hobbies outside of work. I know I'm about to pick up some hobbies come Spring

 

[Max.]

Did u watch that basketball game last nite dog?

 

[invalid]

We're talking work environments here, your post was 80% work environment, this thread is about the work environment. Just because someone ain't social at work doesn't mean they not social outside.

Brehs might have hobbies outside of work. I know I'm about to pick up some hobbies come Spring

It doesn’t matter what 80% of my post comprises of. I started at a macro level (life) then went to a micro level (work) and it applies to both just the same.

And I’m talking about social capital (currency) which is an amalgamation of a number of factors including socialability.

And you can have hobbies and still be an introvert.

 

[Suspicions]

I think it was mentioned already but How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

Others that I've read:

Small Talk by Debra Fine
People Smart by Melvin Silberman

Here's a good list of other resources. People Smart is included:

25 Books To Sharpen Your Social Skills and Transform Your Career

Which book do you think is most essential? The how to win friends one?

 

[EBK String]

It doesn’t matter what 80% of my post comprises of. I started at a macro level (life) then went to a micro level (work) and it applies to both just the same.

And I’m talking about social capital (currency) which is an amalgamation of a number of factors including socialability.

And you can have hobbies and still be an introvert.

your new username is boy.

 

[CrimsonTider]

That's the dream Can't say shyt now cuz you need the money

Trying to justify being socially awkward is so stupid

just stop