Why don’t couples last after having a baby??

[TLR Is Mental Poison]

Honestly there's a lot of men who don't do enough to assist. But at the same time if you're in a relationship where yall cant openly discuss concerns than there's a weak foundation there to begin with. There's ways to suggest that a woman lose weight without putting her down. But sometimes people just don't have the time between work and raising the kids. I know a couple where it took years for the woman to lose all the baby weight. The father was a truck driver and was gone for a week and a half at a time so she was the main one taking care of the child on a daily basis. It wasn't any fault of his becuz he makes good money and spends all his time with them when hes home. But there's really not much she can do when he's hardly there

Exactly. Plus a lot of people saying "o i know a chick who stayed slim"... that's genetics My wife lost weight in her first trimester, was her pre birth weight after the baby was born, and then lost ANOTHER 12lb in the 2 weeks after the baby was born. No exercise necessary Some women blow up without being irresponsible or food reckless. A lot of the shyt is the luck of the draw

 

[Shadow King]

I th

i think you should consider that four years means you raise a kid from a needy newborn to a needy preschooler. Consider that she may be pressed for time and energy. She won’t be the same energetic person just with a kid on the side. She’s lost physiological energy, time, and probably a sense of being a separate person with needs who is desirable in other ways than a maid and a mom. Those are all things you and her have to realize you need to put effort in.

If you want to help your loved one lose weight, watch your child to free up time to work on herself. It’s actually pretty simple.

This is very simple and the fact there's an idea that a man/men in general don't do this is sad. But I can't push a woman to want to change her body. If the woman I'm with brings up a desire to lose the weight I'm watching the baby amongst other things.

Do men really not watch their babies?

 

[TLR Is Mental Poison]

A plan made by the man and woman in the relationship. I work out but my mission is reshaping my body because I'm already small. Times where she would imagine she doesn't have the time to work out, I'm watching the baby. Things that she thinks will help the weight loss, I'm researching and seeing if it's legit or a placebo, and I'm buying. If she changes what she eats, I'm changing what I eat. But like I said to BMore this is hard to do because we're not allowed to bring weight up. The person whose body changed big time (the woman) has to have a desire to change it back.

I'm a long way from any relationship and I actually want a vasectomy. So the "it's been 2 years since the baby got here and..." conversation isn't in my plans.

Like BMore said if you can't talk openly and respectfully with your woman you have bigger problems than her weight. And in any case you can plan all you want... when that baby comes all that shyt goes out the window. shyt is tooootallly different. You might get an easy baby, you might get a difficult baby. Again, then what? If that's the love of your life and the mother of your child, and you want to be a good father, you aren't going to stress over the shyt. If you can't do that then don't have kids... and don't tell people with kids the way it's supposed to go. As for watching the baby a lot of the time both parents need to be with the kid. Or if one parent has the kid the other one is cleaning or making dinner. There's just not time

 

[Shadow King]

Nope

Both my sisters are in their late 30's and most my close male friends are touching 40 their wives are a couple years behind.. 5 at most. The only one not to loose the weight is the youngest of the wives... I knew what time it was when she didn't even try for the wedding cuz that's when women are most about it.

That sounds like great genes honestly. My mother had me in her 30's and while her body never got to be the same, she wasn't/isn't the type to grind it out in the gym. She didn't gain a whole lot either. Maybe she could've if my parents cohabitated and someone else was there fulltime

 

[Rocket Scientist]

Older you get more set in your ways and harder it is to lose weight.Unless extremely motivated the only way women lose weight is when doctor tells them they have to or they will have serious health issues or maybe an early death

 

[datnigDASTARDLY]

No and discussions like this a part of why. After 4 years your baby is not a newborn, those pounds could've come off. Some women fall back into form fairly easily/naturally, some don't. Out of those who don't, some put the work in and end up looking the same as the pre-pregnancy period, or sometimes better from filling out in certain places. Meanwhile, others struggle. I understand this but after the first year or so if there's no effort or plan to get back in shape she doesn't care about getting back in shape, which on top of a decrease in free time and intimacy and bickering/cloaked resentment over who does how much work splits couples.

Your story/rebuttal or anyone else's story/rebuttal will not change my opinion or draw a concession. An effort can be made. Period.

My God breh, I ain't one to pass judgement...but parenting don't stop after you have children. Ever.

Depending on what type of mother she wants to be there may never be a good time to lose that weight. Some women just ain't built for that ripin and running life that having a kid presents. And are we forgetting genetics?

My wife bounced back after our first but the second is difficult...I couldn't care less cuz she got thicker but she doing enough as it is. Plus the physiological changes her body went through, she most likely can't bounce back. shyt, she told me her feet went flat so she can't wear heels anymore cuz her foots hurt !!

Did you hear me breh? She used to wear heels Everytime we went out...turnin nikkas heads! She still turn heads, don't get me won't, but it is what it is brehs .

I get your stance that she could make an effort, but real life ain't that cut and dry.

 

[Amestafuu (Emeritus)]

You guys are on the outside looking in. I’m willing to bet you’ve never sat these women down to ask the nitty gritty details of their pregnancy and postpartum recovery, even if they were smooth and problem free. I doubt these women are talking to their man’s friends or men at work about their postpartum body changes lol. All you see is the result and not the process. I think it really depends on the body and the genetics. They say every woman is different and within every woman, every pregnancy is different. My friend had a baby in her early 20s and said she felt fine, no problems, got her abs back quick. She just recently had her second at 29 and she gained a little more weight, had issues walking and regaining stability in her pelvis, is more tired, and on and on. It really is a mind blowing process. It’s so varied but so similar. You’re doing yourself a disservice by assuming and not learning.

Do people need to hold onto the extra 20-30 lbs? No, but a little education on why some do goes a long way if you want to inspire change.

Thanks for the info

From my personal view it really wasn't that hard for majority of the women around me... I'm being honest. They bounced back fast or didn't have to at all cuz of no significant weight gain. Maybe it helped that they were in shape in the first place I don't need to know the gritty details or understand how hard it is. We both have our struggles as sexes. We have to maintain some standards to keep it together. There's always a call for understanding when it comes to women but not both ways. It's not really out of the question to expect that your mate takes care of themselves. I wouldn't be mad if a woman left me because I wasn't taking care of myself either. I'll never buy into the whole excuse of having anything better to do than take care of yourself, health and wellbeing. That's a joke.

 

[Shadow King]

Like BMore said if you can't talk openly and respectfully with your woman you have bigger problems than her weight. And in any case you can plan all you want... when that baby comes all that shyt goes out the window. shyt is tooootallly different. You might get an easy baby, you might get a difficult baby. Again, then what? If that's the love of your life and the mother of your child, and you want to be a good father, you aren't going to stress over the shyt. If you can't do that then don't have kids... and don't tell people with kids the way it's supposed to go. As for watching the baby a lot of the time both parents need to be with the kid. Or if one parent has the kid the other one is cleaning or making dinner. There's just not time

My God breh, I ain't one to pass judgement...but parenting don't stop after you have children. Ever.

Depending on what type of mother she wants to be there may never be a good time to lose that weight. Some women just ain't built for that ripin and running life that having a kid presents. And are we forgetting genetics?

My wife bounced back after our first but the second is difficult...I couldn't care less cuz she got thicker but she doing enough as it is. Plus the physiological changes her body went through, she most likely can't bounce back. shyt, she told me her feet went flat so she can't wear heels anymore cuz her foots hurt !!

Did you hear me breh? She used to wear heels Everytime we went out...turnin nikkas heads! She still turn heads, don't get me won't, but it is what it is brehs .

I get your stance that she could make an effort, but real life ain't that cut and dry.

Ok.

 

[InfinateOpulance]

I know plenty of women that lost weight after the baby. Didn't put on much in the first place . People are calling OP shallow for pointing out some real shyt.

I have a friend who is a personal trainer and his wife gained weight after the firrtborn and refused to work out. She doesn't represent him and is hurting his image as an effective trainer. He is also surrounded by beautiful women. I don't blame him for cheating at all. You can't be talking about baby weight years later.

I hope she gets in shape and cheats on his ass. And i won't blame her for cheating at all either.

 

[Amestafuu (Emeritus)]

I hope she gets in shape and cheats on his ass. And i won't blame her for cheating at all either.

she has no shot with her lazy ass

Couldn't even do it for her special day.

 

[TLR Is Mental Poison]

I know plenty of women that lost weight after the baby. Didn't put on much in the first place . People are calling OP shallow for pointing out some real shyt.

I have a friend who is a personal trainer and his wife gained weight after the firrtborn and refused to work out. She doesn't represent him and is hurting his image as an effective trainer. He is also surrounded by beautiful women. I don't blame him for cheating at all. You can't be talking about baby weight years later.

Again, genetics. You and your homie are some shytbags and I hope you and him get what's coming to you Did he not exchange vows? nikkas wanna run out on the mother of their children cause she gained some weight. Trash

 

[King of Creampies]

This is one of the reasons why I chose not to have kids.

I could not handle being separated from my children in any fashion and I am glad I made that choice.

Seeing mothers and fathers heartbroken and angry at one another or hearing these tales of divorce and kids going through it all just fukks me up.

(neg me for being sensitive to the shyt I don't mind)

Salute to the Coli Parents on here holding it down seriously...

 

[InfinateOpulance]

I hope she gets in shape and cheats on his ass. And i won't blame her for cheating at all either.

So has he tried to work out with her, come up with a work out plan for her to follow?

 

[InfinateOpulance]

Again, genetics. You and your homie are some shytbags and I hope you and him get what's coming to you Did he not exchange vows? nikkas wanna run out on the mother of their children cause she gained some weight. Trash

Exactly! that dude is a coward and should have never gotten married.

 

[Amestafuu (Emeritus)]

Again, genetics. You and your homie are some shytbags and I hope you and him get what's coming to you Did he not exchange vows? nikkas wanna run out on the mother of their children cause she gained some weight. Trash

It's deeper than that and I usually don't cosign cheaters but her family is white trash and he the only nikka that married a cac

I know her folks ignorant because I worked with her father and he stayed hating on my nikka with some slick shyt acting like his daughter deserves better (white man)... so I don't care what he do cuz that old fukks daughter couldn't do any better. Her mom seen her wedding picture surrounded by Black groomsmen and told the daughter she looked like a whore... facts.

If my nikka get what's coming to him it has to be positive cuz he can't hold anymore L's

Thanks for your wishes tho