I hear this phrase all the time; however, before self-reflecting on the realm of possibilities which may explain this conundrum, I conducted my own little experiment. I went out with a so-called 'nice' guy. My family and friends kept telling me that I was extremely picky and here was a 'nice' guy that was interested in me but I was turning him down for no reason apparently. So against my better judgement, I decided to give this 'nice' guy a chance.
We went out for dinner and I listened to him talk exuberantly about his own interests. I could tell he was very much attracted to me. Taking every opportunity to put his body in close proximity with mine. And he would stare at me like a hungry mad man on death row, about to eat his last supper. I felt uncomfortable but decided to give him a chance. Although I usually enjoy talking, that evening I sat silently and remained in observation mode. He kept talking and talking, and talking. I looked at the time and it appeared to have been moving every millennia; boredom quickly began to seep in as I struggled to keep any interest of mine afloat.
You're probably reading this and thinking that I was being a stuck up [beep]. Perhaps you're right but hear me out before you make your judgement. You see, I get turned off by men who appear to like me even when I sit there like a mute -- with nothing to offer but my beauty. There's no intellectual discussion, he hasn't gotten to know me beyond my exterior layer. A date is where you peel back layers instead of admiring the outer layer. It's the sweet soft part that's all within us; the part anyone rarely gets to see, which should be the main course of discussion!
That's the problem, you see. Liking the exterior before you've even touched upon what's on the inside. A so-called 'nice' guy gets excited over the packaging and his enthusiasm is revolting. He'll tell you he loves you without even tasting you. He'll call you every day and declare his love before even knowing your ingredients. He'll like you albeit you've said very few words to him.
His love for you is an illusion. And the sad part is, he doesn't even know it.
For that reason, I don't go for the 'nice' guy per se. I go for the guy I find mentally stimulating, not the one who tells me I mean the world to him, when he doesn't even know what my inner world contains.
/End rant.
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That's a perfect example.
