"Why I Do Not Want to Split Rent or Mortgage With My Man"

Uncle Kendrick

I'm just bout that action
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I like the basketball analogy to describe a working relationship. Every man should shrive to be Jordan in the relationship but at times you're going have to differ to Pippin in order to be a champion.
 

MR. SNIFLES

**** YOU THUNDAAAAAAAAAAH
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She's a perfect example of how the right thing can come out the wrong mouth.
She's like the dudes always harpin on and on about submission. Basically if u worthy of it, you'll get it. She ain't gettin it so that's a problem with HER, not necessarily the community.

I'm traditional too. No amount of hating and shaming is gonna change that. I don't split bills with men. When I lived with my ex, I put in about $200 towards rent and bought groceries. He paid rent/cable and internet and utilities.

Why? Because as a female, (and this is fact) if I'm worth a damn, it's axiomatic that I am going work harder in that relationship than the male is. That's traditionally WHY men wanted to be be married. A helpmate is exactly that---a helpmate. Nobody is going to keep house like me. No male is dusting, making sure our floors aren't sticky, changing the sheets, sweeping, mopping, folding laundry, washing the skid marks out ur drawers like me. Ur not washing the ring around that tub out or scrubbing the soap scum off tiles like men Likewise, a guy might fix a meal every now and again, but u aren't cooking consistently, preparing meals AND cleaning up afterwards. You aren't managing the bills, mail, and I didn't even mention if u have children or elderly.
A woman's work is literally never done. So him taking care of fhe bills is appreciated. My money will go towards emergencies and rainy days and vacation for us as well as shyt around the house we need, groceries, and misc. Actually to be honest, this becomes less of an issue the longer u are with someone b/c it really depends on who will control the finances. Money is pooled. Relationships are communist. Lol! And most dudes I've been with haven't had a problem with this. And if I meet a guy who is better with moolah than I am, I totally don't mind him handling my money and his money and throwing me an allowance.

The real issue here is whether she wants to be honest with herself---is she worthy of that treatment and willing to do her part to maintain that type of lifestyle? She's using a legit issue as an excuse for her own personal romantic failures. I dun told ya'll about these types. Lames can't be spokesmen for concerns b/c they make a caricature of legitimate issues. This bytch as lame as they come trying to hide her unattractiveness and thinly veiled c00ning under the banner "finances in the black community". Just be real and say u want a white dude b/c u gotta stereotype of them having good credit.

This has nothing to do with traditional roles and finances in relationships. That's the front. The REAL name of this article is: "Justifications for Dating White Supremacy and How I've Been Mind Raped into Thinking Non-black=Stability"

Meanwhile I bet my student loans none of those alleged non-blk dudes tryin to fund her mediocre ass thru life either.
SO tired of people lying all the damn time. If u "real" and "bold" enough to insult ur own, be "real" enuff to take honest inventory of why u really ain't poppin too. :comeon:

I'M TRADITIONAL TOO. THIS IS HOW STUFF SHOULD BE. I KNOW I LIKE A HOUSEWIFE. I KNOW THE CONSEQUENCES OF THAT. I KNOW I GOTTA BUST MY ASS AT WORK TO PAY FOR IT. BUT SHE GOTTA HOLD THE HOUSE DOWN.
 

DatBoiHawk

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Whatever works for you but the stuff you mentioned isn't shyt to me. In fairness you are right that a lot of guys don't do them things you mentioned but for the guys like me where stuff like cooking, cleaning, paying bills is nothing what do you bring to the table. It's not unappreciated but it just isn't a selling point and I wonder do you just not work with those types? Not looking for an argument just how do you think that would work in that situation?
Fa real though...I’m a grown ass man been living by myself since i was 21 i can done everything she mentioned on my own. She needs a better selling point cause she’s sounding like a moocher
 

philmonroe

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Fa real though...I’m a grown ass man been living by myself since i was 21 i can done everything she mentioned on my own. She needs a better selling point cause she’s sounding like a moocher
She sounds like a moocher to us but I know a lot of guys that can't do simple shyt like cook and clean. No lie a friend of mine once said a chick was wifey material because she knew how to write a check. I'm looking at this dude like wtf so I know a lot of guys fit what she talking but I know more than a few that don't either. I just wonder how a relationship would work with them types. I guess it wouldn't for long because it might be too much disagreement
 

CoryMack

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Best thing for her is to continue living on her own paying all her own bills, giving herself that self-security she needs.

And since she's a good saver and investor she can get her own back if/when she falls.

Alotta these women need a severe reality check.
 

⠝⠕⠏⠑

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Whatever works for you but the stuff you mentioned isn't shyt to me. In fairness you are right that a lot of guys don't do them things you mentioned but for the guys like me where stuff like cooking, cleaning, paying bills is nothing what do you bring to the table. It's not unappreciated but it just isn't a selling point and I wonder do you just not work with those types? Not looking for an argument just how do you think that would work in that situation?
See that's the thing.
To me this stuff isn't a selling point. It's just standard features. To me that's the bare minimum so imagine my surprise when people outchea tryin to get brownie points for shyt that SHOULD be done anyway.

This is shyt that me and my family do for friends. At any given time my friends and family can pop into my place and kick it. If there is company, u can't just sit there with the crusty lips and growling stomachs. The hell I look like?! Ya'll ain't gon have my family working me. Lmao!

It's all about building a sense of home and community for the people U love. To me people are heaven. I'm surrounded by people. My next door neighbor got a key to my place. We'll push the furniture out the way and do calisthenics and then put quilts down and binge watch shows.

If I do this shyt for friends, why wouldn't I do it for the man in my life?
But that's not the selling point. It used to be in traditional relationships. But it never should have been. It only once was out of necessity.

No who I am as a person to the man who loves me and is loved by me---THATS the selling point. It's the connection between too kindred spirits and the opportunity to grow together.

People don't get what love is b/c they stuck in what this person can do for me and that's because they not taking care of themselves so they using other people to fill holes. They broke so they dating for money. They wanna feel important so they gotta have an exotical for validation. They scared so they need protection. Didn't have a daddy so they dating for a father. Momma treated em like shyt so they need a female to use and abuse to get back at mammy.

If there were no other men in the world today or tomorrow, I would STILL do the shyt I mentioned previously b/c that's the fabric of who I am. I don't need people to fill holes for me so I don't have to use anyone. What it means is I'm completely free to be myself and enjoy a man who is mentally and emotionally well adjusted enough to be himself and be genuine. It's REALLY that simple but hard to get to b/c men and women I encounter are view dating as a psychological battlefield where each new person is somebody that they can use to make them feel better about their own insecurities or doubts. They apply the hurt and trauma and survival tactics they used and developed growing up to their relationships. Love can't grow when ur looking to use somebody.

But nah. I don't sell myself. We not slaves no mo. The men in my life tell me they are here b/c there is something about me they can't shake. That I see shyt about them they don't disclose. The cooking and cleaning that's extra. What I bring to the table is me and who I am. And in spite of my flaws I've been good enough to get proposed to seriously 3 times in my life. And I've said no each time b/c I wasn't ready.
 

philmonroe

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See that's the thing.
To me this stuff isn't a selling point. It's just standard features. To me that's the bare minimum so imagine my surprise when people outchea tryin to get brownie points for shyt that SHOULD be done anyway.

This is shyt that me and my family do for friends. At any given time my friends and family can pop into my place and kick it. If there is company, u can't just sit there with the crusty lips and growling stomachs. The hell I look like?! Ya'll ain't gon have my family working me. Lmao!

It's all about building a sense of home and community for the people U love. To me people are heaven. I'm surrounded by people. My next door neighbor got a key to my place. We'll push the furniture out the way and do calisthenics and then put quilts down and binge watch shows.

If I do this shyt for friends, why wouldn't I do it for the man in my life?
But that's not the selling point. It used to be in traditional relationships. But it never should have been. It only once was out of necessity.

No who I am as a person to the man who loves me and is loved by me---THATS the selling point. It's the connection between too kindred spirits and the opportunity to grow together.

People don't get what love is b/c they stuck in what this person can do for me and that's because they not taking care of themselves so they using other people to fill holes. They broke so they dating for money. They wanna feel important so they gotta have an exotical for validation. They scared so they need protection. Didn't have a daddy so they dating for a father. Momma treated em like shyt so they need a female to use and abuse to get back at mammy.

If there were no other men in the world today or tomorrow, I would STILL do the shyt I mentioned previously b/c that's the fabric of who I am. I don't need people to fill holes for me so I don't have to use anyone. What it means is I'm completely free to be myself and enjoy a man who is mentally and emotionally well adjusted enough to be himself and be genuine. It's REALLY that simple but hard to get to b/c men and women I encounter are view dating as a psychological battlefield where each new person is somebody that they can use to make them feel better about their own insecurities or doubts. They apply the hurt and trauma and survival tactics they used and developed growing up to their relationships. Love can't grow when ur looking to use somebody.

But nah. I don't sell myself. We not slaves no mo. The men in my life tell me they are here b/c there is something about me they can't shake. That I see shyt about them they don't disclose. The cooking and cleaning that's extra. What I bring to the table is me and who I am. And in spite of my flaws I've been good enough to get proposed to seriously 3 times in my life. And I've said no each time b/c I wasn't ready.
Respect and all that I can roll with.
 
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If a MARRIED woman is taking care of the cooking, cleaning, the kids, being loving and supportive, staying in shape, fukking on the regular, and the man makes a living in which they can be comfortable, I don't see a problem with her not working.

BUT

If they're just living together, making modest salaries that just cover the minimum cost of living in that area, and especially no kids
:camby:

On the other hand, a lot of brehs on this site want to complain about black women, and think white women are better partners. A lot of the fine white women are being taken care of by their husbands. A woman who stays home has an easier time maintaining the house, her weight, and doesn't have the stress of the work environment.

Then again, a lot of those white women are miserable, unfaithful (I know from past experience, unfortunately) , strung out on pills and alcohol, and end up snapping one day from pretending to be happy, and smile all the time.
 
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