Would You Date Someone With Multiple Kids If You Had None Yourself?

[*Angel*]

First, I never mentioned anything about being a father figure nor inferred it. Second, if OP plans to hang around as more than just a FB (aka SO/boyfriend/whatever) then the above are all things to consider. Unless you think he should just pretend like the children don't exist or never plan to be around when the children are around then yes he will have to spend time with the children and he will have to come out his pocket for those children. It could be as little as buying an extra pizza, buying 3 extra tickets or helping to pay for a babysitter. Either way it will cost him more than it would if that same woman had no children. Also If your friends have long term relationships and those men never see or do for their children I would seriously tell you to consider the company you keep.

Well you may not be able to say she's not intelligent but I will. Sorry but that situation doesn't read as intelligent nor responsible. Being aware doesn't make you bright. It makes you alive.My point is that whatever she has he could just easily find someone who also has those without kids. I see it as a no brainer.

Dating someone without 3 kids >>>>> Dating someone with 3 kids

Cool. We can agree to disagree, but I know first hand that the situations you described don't happen that way, especially with fwb situations, if that's what they are. I mentioned being a father figure bc you put him in a father role, making him emotionally and financially responsible for the well being of her kids by paying for babysitters and extracurricular activities, just to go on dates and spend time with their mom. It just doesnt happen that way. Its strictly on him if he wants to do that but that does not come with the deal. Besides with fwb relationships the underlying agreement is sex, not the obligations you described so they aren't good reasons to not talk to her IMO.

Regardless, he knows hes seeing a chik with kids and their relationship has gotten this far with no problems. Yeah he could find a childless woman, but in this situation hes interested in a woman with kids. He enjoys having sex with with her and to him she has a cool personality. From what he described her good qualities outweigh her bad and they already have a good vibe. He mite as well keep dealing with her, unless he doesn't like kids.

I completely understand team no kids if you don't have any yourself, but that went out the door when he entertained a woman with kids. If he likes her more despite her circumstances, it doesn't make sense to let her go to follow ideals and avoid hypothetical issues. As long as she's drama free and is doing something with her life I see no problems here.

I'm done.

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

Cool. We can agree to disagree, but I know first hand that the situations you described don't happen that way, especially with fwb situations, if that's what they are. I mentioned being a father figure bc you put him in a father role, making him emotionally and financially responsible for the well being of her kids by paying for babysitters and extracurricular activities, just to go on dates and spend time with their mom. It just doesnt happen that way. Its strictly on him if he wants to do that but that does not come with the deal. Besides with fwb relationships the underlying agreement is sex, not the obligations you described so they aren't good reasons to not talk to her IMO.

Regardless, he knows hes seeing a chik with kids and their relationship has gotten this far with no problems. Yeah he could find a childless woman, but in this situation hes interested in a woman with kids. He enjoys having sex with with her and to him she has a cool personality. From what he described her good qualities outweigh her bad and they already have a good vibe. He mite as well keep dealing with her, unless he doesn't like kids.

I completely understand team no kids if you don't have any yourself, but that went out the door when he entertained a woman with kids. If he likes her more despite her circumstances, it doesn't make sense to let her go to follow ideals and avoid hypothetical issues. As long as she's drama free and is doing something with her life I see no problems here.

I'm done.

Why are you talking about friends with benefits when the thread is obviously about moving beyond that? Just b/c you "like" someone doesn't make them good relationship material and just b/c you have been dealing with them on a very low level doesn't mean you "might as well" go beyond that. People should actually think about the relationships that they put themselves into. Glad he is actually using his brain and thinking beyond "might as well." It's just not a good decision. He is way too young to be taking on so much when he doesn't have to.


Off topic but...young...your girls need to get themselves together. Your single mother friends are running playing fukk buddy with dudes and paying for their own babysitters.You consider a dude paying for dinner and pizza as "taking on a father role?" Wow. No, those are things that he is suppose to be doing if he wants to be around. SM are always a package deal even if it's just casual. Ya'll seriously messing with dudes were breaking bread is optional? This is baffling to me. I've had a dude I just met pay a $100 parking ticket for me w/o even touching me and ya'll are spending your own money for dikk. What is the world?

 

[Sonic Boom of the South]

nah


i hate kids too much for that







more than likely the kids wont have discipline





and im the nikka that will whoop another nikkas kids with ease if they wilding out








lil mafukkas asking for shyt

eating my sunkist fruit snacks

hell the fukk no


one kid depending on the situation do able



more than one

 

[$$$HotBoyRonald$$$]

99% of the time this shyt is the ultimate simp move by a breh. Of course there are occasions where the women actually got wronged and doesn't deserve to be labeled cause of the kids, but most of the time they are just thots who can't get along with a dude.

 

[Axum Ezana]

no. but if you do and it doesn't work out, don't blame all your problems on her.lol

 

[AntiVenom]

No I wouldnt. There wouldnt be any point in getting with an already made family.

 

[havoc]

I will pass her to the next man like John Stockton.

 

[beanz]

but here it comes yall.....she's 24 with THREE kids she was engaged at 19 and had 2 babies with that guy before they fell out....then popped out another one last year from a high school friend who then preceeded to go into witness protection and has since disappeared.....

or at least thats what he told her

 

[Pdiddy]

Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell the blood of a black simp

 

[Silkk]

 

[*Angel*]

Why are you talking about friends with benefits when the thread is obviously about moving beyond that? Just b/c you "like" someone doesn't make them good relationship material and just b/c you have been dealing with them on a very low level doesn't mean you "might as well" go beyond that. People should actually think about the relationships that they put themselves into. Glad he is actually using his brain and thinking beyond "might as well." It's just not a good decision. He is way too young to be taking on so much when he doesn't have to.


Off topic but...young...your girls need to get themselves together. Your single mother friends are running playing fukk buddy with dudes and paying for their own babysitters.You consider a dude paying for dinner and pizza as "taking on a father role?" Wow. No, those are things that he is suppose to be doing if he wants to be around. SM are always a package deal even if it's just casual. Ya'll seriously messing with dudes were breaking bread is optional? This is baffling to me. I've had a dude I just met pay a $100 parking ticket for me w/o even touching me and ya'll are spending your own money for dikk. What is the world?

In your response you wrote FB, I translated it as fwb but now I see you prob meant fk buddies. Minor mistake. Regardless of what their title is, your encouraging him to drop her just to find a steady with no children, despite the fact that he gets along with her and already knew she had kids. That's dumb. If he really was the type of guy who held the ideal your encouraging to a high standard, he would not have even chose her as a fk buddy. Then to hang, chill and vibe with her? Its not for him. His feelings on the subject are too relaxed to fit your advice. Unless he came back in this thread and changed his initial thought, he mentioned in the OP that he wasn't ready to settle, just tired of pursuing. Has nothing to do with getting into a relationship to build with her, but he can chill where he's at.

And as for my friends, yes, they handle their own business regarding their children when they mingle. What your describing sounds more like a trick. Men using money to lure and keep the women interested. If he has to do all of that just to get a nut from a chick he's not even trying to be serious with, he's a trick who can't get it any other way. That's just facts. I could understand if their arrangement lasted to the point they began to do things for each other, but out the door dropping cash for her when he could spend that cash on a childless chik, yeah he's a trick. If you think every fk buddy arrangement starts/operates that way then your stripper environment has warped your perception of reality. Its not that deep out here Miss Make Them Pay.

 

[Soundbwoy]

at some point one of the kids will challenge you and hit you with
"you ain't my daddy"
how do you feel about that op

 

[Snitchin Splatter]

at some point one of the kids will challenge you and hit you with
"you ain't my daddy"
how do you feel about that op

"you damn right i aint ya daddy thank god you little disrespectful ass b*stard, now get in the closet "

 

[Killer Instinct]

fukk no.
There are entirely too many women without children to be entertaining those with.

 

[Medicate]

before this turns into another black woman bashing-single mothers have ruined the world thread...

I've been recently "seeing" a girl....she's awesome.....she's the very rare black nerdy chick.....very intelligent, good convo, the box is we spent yesterday watching walking dead, playing some game where you guess logos, fukking, arguing about possible endings to game of thrones (she reads the books )....she even posts at internet forums (not here and i'm not linking her )

but here it comes yall.....she's 24 with THREE kids she was engaged at 19 and had 2 babies with that guy before they fell out....then popped out another one last year from a high school friend who then preceeded to go into witness protection and has since disappeared.....

whats yall thoughts in situations like these brehs? as always with coli consensus I will look at yalls most suggested plan of action and do the exact opposite

i'm semi young with no kids and just starting to come out of my whore phase...i dont wanna settle down and the thought of children terrify me but this girl yall.... idk

She may not be so "nerdy" as you think