You ever been shytted on by a bird???

[MustafaSTL]

Happened when I was in high school. I was in Junior ROTC so I had my uniform on that I wore once a week. Walking to the bus stop on the way to school and *splat* right on my shoulder. I couldn’t get that shyt off good enough for uniform check. Colonel looked at that smeared shyt on my shoulder and took points off. I just had to sit there and look like

 

[Luke Cage]

As much as ya'll love eating ass, i figured you'd be used to being shytted on.

 

[The God Poster]

Knowing some of y’all nasty mf I thought thread was gonna be about something else​

 

[Amestafuu (Emeritus)]

i was sitting on a football field. only human in sight and nothing but green grass for bird breh to shyt on.

bird took a shyt on me like that shyt was personal

but the worst one was when a pigeon shyt directly into my hood and i didn't know until i wen to put it over my heard and felt it

 

[Bumblebreh]

Cats bring bad luck

 

[TEH]

@Seahawks
@eagle579
@Pigeon
@Mandarin Duck
@birdgang91

 

[Cryptocurrency Scarface]

Literally a few minutes ago

and my car keeps getting shytted on even after I pay to get it washed

fukk you @Pigeon and Seagulls

 

[Cladyclad]

Yes

I got into a altercation with my girl. She mace me. Mind u I’m on my way to work. I ride a bike to work. So I’m tearing up as I peddle. Make it to work safely. Lock my bike up. Wipe my eyes. Out of nowhere. Splat!! A damn bird done shytted on my head. I wanted to cry right there but it was too many people around lol

so I got mace and shytted on in less than a hour. Worst day ever lol

 

[BlackBall]

My car

 

[Woodwerkz]

Twice and one time the bird just shyt on my shirt I was switch into.

1st time I was a lil Jit just in the backyard. I tried to climb a tree and a Bluejay flew away and shyt dropped onto the back shoulder area of my shirt.

2nd time ... during the Throwback jersey heyday I was walking from my hotel at the beach to the store across the street and I felt something hit me on the back of my hat and drip to my neck. It got on my damn jersey too.

I was switching shirts bc I had just left one chick house and my shirt smelled like her perfume and lotion. I was supposed to swing by this spot to hang with my homie and some girls from his job. My dumb ass pulled up to the spot and park in the parking deck. For some reason I hopped out...took my shirt off... grabbed the other shirt...laid it on the roof of the car to make sure I didn't smell like the other chick even though I showered at her place. Next thing I know a bird chilling in the deck ceiling shyt on my car...it splattered onto my shirt.

#HatinAssBird

 

[Amerikan Melanin]

I was a fly young nikka pushing the coupe with the sunroof open and cream interior. Dressed in a dope outfit about to go stunt uptown and pop bottles. Got to the toll at the GWB and slowed up for traffic. Got to the actual booth and a bird shytted right thru my sunroof all over my shirt and and steering wheel and shifter. A big White and black shyt!!

I wanted to climb the booth and kill that bird.

Had to pull over and buy some tissues at a bodega and try and clean up. Ended up buying a t shirt to put on.

 

[Cowboyz89]

 

[3rdLetter]

Not directly but the back of my shirt got splattered. Was at a neighbor's baseball game at the park across the street from the crib. Heard something hit the bleacher I was sitting on. Turnt around to look and saw wet, green shyt. Checked on the back of my shirt and it looked like the beginning of a Jackson Pollock painting

 

[UberEatsDriver]

Man wtf I was walking home from the store the other day and I go to look at something on my phone and blam right on my fukking arm white birdshyt

I damn near threw up out there shyt is not cool damn you @Pigeon

On my sweatpants yes

 

[Geek Nasty]

Yeah I was a kid we were having a cookout, i heard a commotion in the trees looked up and a bird hit me square on the forehead like the John Wick of bird shyt