I've told limited versions of my story before,but never the whole thing
Recovering Off a 24hr coke and alcohol binge,I thought I'd share my story
I've only been in what I consider one relationship my whole live,27 years young at the moment,1st relationship I wouldnt count,i was kind of forced into one from a crazy mixxed bytch that only got crazier the longer i stayed with her(but thats another story for another day).tryna figure out where to start as I right this,I have a gift and a curse that has allowed me to sleep with alot of attractive women with very very little effort,its always been thrown at me,most of the time I didnt even know they liked me till my dikk was in their mouth,every job ive slept with every girl worth fukking,it never ended bad,because I never lead them on,and they knew what it was.That is until I met my ex,and the only girl I have ever loved
Another thing about me,Im mexican,lived in south LA all life,in predominantly black neighborhoods.I was a troublemaker so I ran with the wolfs as a pup growing up,I say this because I've ALWAYS had a preference for black girls,specially mixed black girls,those are my weakness
,I also say this because I beleave for the reason that ive lived in black neighborhoods,Mexican girls,and basically all hispanic girls never really fukked with me,i was'nt a typical hispanic male,atleast in their eyes,so we couldnt relate much,but back to my story,a few years into my LAX job,after fukking every 7+ up girl there,I walked in to work,and say this young pretty girl,mixd looking,hair done make up done,and I immediately was like
,come to find out she the supervisors niece,honduran,but her father was a black honduran so thats what gave her that "mixed look".little by little we talked,but man she had me
,and i told myself I HAD to make her mine,not fukk or hook up,I wanted to be with her,but one problem was,I didnt know how,Ive never chased girls,I had no game,girls just understood my story,word to my man nas.Fast forward a bit,after months and months of lite simpin and gaining her trust,we got together,and immediately things were great,relationship wise,she had a close relationship with her family,and they loved me,I went everywhere and I was introduced with high praise to all her extended fam.I was also her first,we had a 6 year age difference,its not always a good thing,but it worked in my case,cuz she was raised to obey her parents every command,and to never disobey her father,and I told her early on I wanted a serious relationship and would expect the same respect she gave her father,since one day I would marry her and her father would hand her to me to take care of her.Things werent always good at work,with everyone knowing I was a dog at work,and know seeing that I was officially dating the supervisors niece,it didnt take long for the jump offs to throw shade at her,even the older women or ugly women i didnt fukk,they all would make remarks out loud every time I walked in,the worse was her older sister,biggest bytch I ever met,on god.This lead to quite a few arguments,I could understood her frustration,having to go to work every day knowing I had previously slept with most of the girls their,and knowing she got side eyed from them for that very reason,I would always make sure to reinforce that I didnt want anyone but her,because it was true,I had everything i wanted,I already had gotten all that fukking around out of my system,and then her cousin started working there...
thats her cousin,it was hard to even go on her FB and download and upload a pic,as she is part of the reason I am no longer with my ex,but in reality its all my fault,I gave in and gave up
(Im takin a little break as i write this to finish a few cups of patron and oj,a breh needs to get a little more
if imma keep writing this)
So yeah,about half a year into our relationship,a second cousin of hers started working their,little by little we talk,since we have same shifts,no flirting or anything, one thing led to another,and pretty soon we were spending 8hrs at work together,and then about 2 hours doing heavy work outs at the gym a walking distance from work,she was serious about her work outs too,wanted to be a fitnes model,would go heavy on lower body and not too shabby on upper body,I liked training her,it caused me to be in the best shape of my life,cuz she would never let me skip a day.this lead my ex to start getting very jealous,and insecure.My GF was beautiful,and so was her cousin,but in diffrent ways,her cousing was 5'8,slim and a nice work out body,my gf was 5'2,slim waist,thick thighs,big breast and ass.but still,she was insecure,that I related more with her cousin,that I got along better with her cousin,people at work being fukked up and saying it within her ears that her cousin and I looked better together,that lead to her breakin down in tears asking me why am I with her when I would be with her cousin, it hurt me that it bugged her,when none of that ever crossed my mind,I was in love with her,tunnel vision and all,only had eyes for her.fast forward another year,getting closer to the end,we would argue every now and then,I hated arguing,never been good it,i felt that was for the females,it was always more or less about power struggles,she wanted it to be 50/50 i said it had to be 51/49 otherwise we would argue all day being stagnant,some times I would get so upset i would get these nasty headaches,my life for the most part was drama and argument free,but now I had a new life,and these discussions that lead to arguments were part of it.I blame myself,I wanted,needed things to be my way and she would ask me sometimes to compromise(took me a minute to remember this word ,had to google synonyms
ya boy is sauced right now) and I wouldnt when she always would,a few times it got soo bad i said I told her I was done,that i couldnt do this anymore,and i couldnt be with her anymore,I felt this was my way to be alone for the day to cool down and not argue any further,as we were always connected one way or another,texting,calling,and being next to each other.I never took into account how it would make her feel,breaking up with her,then the next day showing up at her house,her all depressed lookin,like everything is good,and being like "hey babe,im sorry about yesterday,but we back together now"
.I never thought about the emotional roller coaster she went though cuz of me,this beautiful girl with an amazing smile,that would AND did any and everything for me,I didnt deserve her
.
2 and a half years into our relationship,the company closed,and a few months passed while I decided what my next move was,money was drying up,and it caused my inner downward spiral,I didnt feel like a man,how could I provide for her down the line when i cant even provide for myself, I didnt wanna go back to my old ways for money,I had to live a square life,this caused alot of arguments, I had no one else to take out my frustration on.n I had to go to my dad to let me borrow a rack to hold me over,I hated asking anyone for anything. Soon I had two jobs,Strip Club bouncer,got hooked up my cousin,and weed shop security, was working 60hr weeks,started seeing her less and less from the fact that her mom bought a house that was like 22mils away from me,all this caused a rift,weeks went by without seeing her,i was getting off at 6am from strip club,waking up when she was going to work,and heading to work when she was getting off,weeknds i was working 10hr shifts at weed shop. e had our final argument over me saying that she wasnt making time for me,that I never saw her anymore,and told her I was done,this time she didnt put up much of a battle,she had finally gave up on tryna save us,but i didnt know, i thought she would take me back,like always. few days passed and im like wtf,she hasnt hit me up,so I drive to her house and pick her up,we talk she tells me shes done,shes not takin me back, at the moment,so i leave shell shocked. I leave her alone,give her space,but weeks pass,and i dont know how to function,i went from having a life that revolved around us,wakin up every morning and rolling over to check my phone for her text or missed calls,to complete nothing from her,I text her that one day telling her to please think about it and lets fix it together. I told her the whole reason i broke up with her was for lack of time,and now i dont see her,hear from her,nothing,and I feel dead inside, she tells me I need to learn to appreciate her,and she needs time to fogive me for everything i done,and most importantly forgive herself for allowing me to treat her that way. I loose it,I start drinkin at work and on my free time,then the nail that hit the coffin happens...
Part 2 comming
and gave his ass a plea deal,they would just said him ass to TJ,he never even been to Mexico prior to being born there, months ago,that was a big reason I was heading that way,we was like Bruddahs,he just came back from Sinaloa,and back in jt,said before he left there were two cut off heads on his corner
, don't go cold turkey like I did you'll have withdrawals. pick something medium PHX or Seattle. LA is a monster. Its funny because Im like you, I dont like being around a lot of people esp sober, but for whatever reason I got a golden mouthpiece and can socialize and network like a muthafukka (how I became corporate in the first place), just an all around cool dude that likes to be happy and joke (as I do here #paaglife), but I can't live in LA, its just too wild and Im too good at it to stay in the house out there. There were also other factors why I left, for example the corporation was sending me out of the country and I learned the globalization game was on point, partied overseas met so many cool cats working less hours but making more money, and at the time the economy was shyt (right before Bush left), so there was a mixture of other shyt that helped with my decision.
And the moment a dancer found out they would tag along,they would work where ever we went,after I did my thing I'd have to moon light as their "pimp" for their protection 
2 stars...
you lucky she wasnt full black and from the islands.
take that L
