[AGENDA] Why I Stopped Dating Black American Men When I Decided I Was Ready For Marriage

[Rawtid]

Same reason there are loyal, supportive, and traditional minded black women that black men say they value but don't check for...they might not be attractive enough for them to wanna settle down, maybe they have a kid, maybe they're chunky, etc.

AND my gums are black. Lost cause.

 

[Draje]

AND my gums are black. Lost cause.

It's weird the Coli is so mad about this. I hear dudes on here talk about how Western women are trash, feminists ruined traditional black women, and go overseas to get you an African women yet this pisses them off

They talk about how successful black men got it made in the dating market and don't wanna get married because "GMB, these hoes ain't loyal, etc" and now they're upset

 

[Rawtid]

There you go, collectively putting words in black men's mouths. Has it ever occurred to you that there are millions of men who DON'T think like this? Myself included? Why are you so EAGER to paint us with broad strokes? The audacity to tell us how we feel about anything! We say we feel one way and then people tell us we feel another way. Ridiculous

*Edited for clarity

Sir, statistically speaking American black men and women are less like likely to be married in comparison to others races/cultures. Do you deny these statistics are true?

 

[Rarely-Wrong Liggins]

Instead of him being a better person, we blame mother for choosing bad but not him for remaining a bad choice all his life.

I blame both, actually. But look at it this way; if there's a pile of trash on the sidewalk, festering away in the summer heat you'd be disgusted, right? Like someone come take this shyt away. The fukk? But then, you see someone run giddily towards that pile of rubbish and dive headfirst into the rancid muck and roll around in it and overall enjoy it. Aren't you going to wonder why a supposedly sane and intelligent person is going to jump into a pile of diseased waste? So you go over to them and say, "Hey, you okay? Why are you rolling around in garbage?" To which the person replies, "I want to cool off and have a nice refreshing swim!" And you point them to a local pool; cool, refreshing and not diseased waste "There's a pool over there. Has everything you need, why don't you go there?" And the person looks at you incredulous, as if you are the one rolling in filth, and says; "I don't want what I need. I want what I want. This is what I want. And God, who turned water into wine, will surely turn this trash into a refreshing Oasis."

So, the trash is there. And it's disgusting. And it needs to be removed and the catalyst that led to it being there needs to be identified. However, a person willingly rolling around in it is going to attract your attention more so than the garbage being there in the first place.

 

[Dwolf]

her having a west African father.

So she not AA. Ok cool.
*neg pending for OP*

 

[Rawtid]

I blame both, actually. But look at it this way; if there's a pile of trash on the sidewalk, festering away in the summer heat you'd be disgusted, right? Like someone come take this shyt away. The fukk? But then, you see someone run giddily towards that pile of rubbish and dive headfirst into the rancid muck and roll around in it and overall enjoy it. Aren't you going to wonder why a supposedly sane and intelligent person is going to jump into a pile of diseased waste? So you go over to them and say, "Hey, you okay? Why are you rolling around in garbage?" To which the person replies, "I want to cool off and have a nice refreshing swim!" And you point them to a local pool; cool, refreshing and not diseased waste "There's a pool over there. Has everything you need, why don't you go there?" And the person looks at you incredulous, as if you are the one rolling in filth, and says; "I don't want what I need. I want what I want. This is what I want. And God, who turned water into wine, will surely turn this trash into a refreshing Oasis."

So, the trash is there. And it's disgusting. And it needs to be removed and the catalyst that led to it being there needs to be identified. However, a person willingly rolling around in it is going to attract your attention more so than the garbage being there in the first place.

If only every “bad” dude was as easily identifiable as trash festering on the sidewalk.

 

[Anerdyblackguy]

Why are so many of y’all a poor choice? How many times you see women talking about “changing” men? Women for the most part CHANGE and progress and get better,
Especially for her kids. Black men DO NOT! They be the same bum for years. Not all of course, but we’ve seen this narrative. Instead of him being a better person, we blame mother for choosing bad but not him for remaining a bad choice all his life.

With that said, I’m looks wise only able to attract non marriage minded men or the poorest choice of black me , so marriage isn’t an option for me.

So us black men don’t progress? Again, that’s a huge broad brush to paint on your brothers.

Secondly, we’ve seen your photos on this site and You’re a very sexy woman so can the BS about only attracting non marriage men because of your looks. You need a better excuse.

 

[BelowTheMasonDixon]

Doesn’t mean he wants to be married. Again, there isn’t a lack of black men to date, have sex with or kick it with long term. Marriage is something different.

You know what, it could be? I wasn't trying to slam your comments, you actually maybe onto something. But I don't thinks its as dire as you feel it is.

 

[Dwolf]

1)Let’s start with the fact her father is west African. So why is she even looking for African American men?

2)Notice she said she’s still dating. That means it’s been six years and she still isn’t cuffed.

She blames African American men for not wanting to settle down.

Maybe black men aren’t ready to date a former swirler turned single mother

Being A Single Mother Does Not Make Me A Father And I Refuse To Raise My Son To Believe So

Man, you cant make this shyt up

 

[Eclipser]

It's weird the Coli is so mad about this. I hear dudes on here talk about how Western women are trash, feminists ruined traditional black women, and go overseas to get you an African women yet this pisses them off

They talk about how successful black men got it made in the dating market and don't wanna get married because "GMB, these hoes ain't loyal, etc" and now they're upset

I see this type of argument all the time here and it's extremely disingenuous. It assumes that the majority of the time it's the same people who hold polar opposite views. But more than likely different people in different threads have varied opinions.
It's called a forum...

 

[BelowTheMasonDixon]

If only every “bad” dude was as easily identifiable as trash festering on the sidewalk.

Ya'll keep saying "Bad" But what you mean is a nfl player or a legit rocket scientist. you talking that top 20% shyt. NO them nikkas not going to be faithful to you. hell top 60% with their ish together either. just admit what you are looking for to commit isn't going to because they have viable options. Then I can dig it. Trashmen in Bham make like 40k+ a year, they probably not fixing to commit. and you talking about dudes over them. I'm not saying all. But playing percentages.

 

[Eclipser]

Yo

Sir, statistically speaking American black men and women are less like likely to be married in comparison to others races/cultures. Do you deny these statistics are true?

You literally just completely ignored what I said.

 

[Rawtid]

So us black men don’t progress? Again, that’s a huge broad brush to paint on your brothers.

Secondly, we’ve seen your photos on this site and You’re a very sexy woman so can the BS about only attracting non marriage men because of your looks. You need a better excuse.

I’m speaking of in situations where the father is a “dead beat” or whatever. They usually stay deadbeats for a LONG time, a lot longer than the mom...

Thanks for the compliment, but I think the experience is different for women. It’s not as simple as just finding a guy to marry you

 

[paperbag]

Ya'll keep saying "Bad" But what you mean is a nfl player or a legit rocket scientist. you talking that top 20% shyt. NO them nikkas not going to be faithful to you. hell top 60% with their ish together either. just admit what you are looking for to commit isn't going to because they have viable options. Then I can dig it. Trashmen in Bham make like 40k+ a year, they probably not fixing to commit. and you talking about dudes over them. I'm not saying all. But playing percentages.

So what you're saying is that 60% of black American men are not going to commit? And we are saying that if black American women want commitment they need to look elsewhere. So you agree with the author?

 

[Rawtid]

Ya'll keep saying "Bad" But what you mean is a nfl player or a legit rocket scientist. you talking that top 20% shyt. NO them nikkas not going to be faithful to you. hell top 60% with their ish together either. just admit what you are looking for to commit isn't going to because they have viable options. Then I can dig it. Trashmen in Bham make like 40k+ a year, they probably not fixing to commit. and you talking about dudes over them. I'm not saying all. But playing percentages.

You and I will agree to disagree. I’m definitely not speaking on celebrities.