beenz
Rap Guerilla
no one is saying he shouldn't. I was just saying that if I were in his position, I'd be doing my best to keep the family together given how young the kids are.
Anybody on child support?
- Thread starter Silver Surfer
- Start date
no one is saying he shouldn't. I was just saying that if I were in his position, I'd be doing my best to keep the family together given how young the kids are.
beenz
Rap Guerilla
cuz people like to complain. perseonally, I'd rather NOT have the gov't involved and send the money directly, but it is what it is.If they’re splitting responsibilities down the middle then they should just split the costs evenly
If they’re following the standard where one parent has the child every other weekend (2 or 3 nights out of every 14) and the other parent has them the rest of the time, then obviously the parent who barely has the child should be on child support
I don’t understand people having unprotected sex, hardly ever having their kids, then complaining about child support
beenz
Rap Guerilla
how u pull that off?2 kids....no child support.
Silver Surfer
Veteran
Good relationship with their mom.....
Plus I'm the gold standard when it comes to being a father
Understood but that was his choice tho.
beenz
Rap Guerilla
how old are ur kids? it just takes one fukk up before they get hot and wanna hit u with the
blues_funk_reggae
Veteran
For some reason this reminded me of this scene from Malcolm XI got a buddy who has 4 kids with 3 BM's.
The two older ones, one just hit 18 so he done. The other is in their early 20's.
But, he finna split up from his current lady with a 4&5 year old so he's most likely bout to get hit for support for another 14 years. At the end of the day, he end up paying child support for like 30+ consecutive years
Cats out here paying CS for their entire lifes, sh*t is wild to me
Koapa
Superstar
I pay $1,500 a month. Oh and my son was born in New York. So it's child support for 21 years. My BM is from NY.
Silver Surfer
Veteran
how old are ur kids? it just takes one fukk up before they get hot and wanna hit u with the
21 and 10
murksiderock
Superstar
It's not that bad. Like beanie said above, you get used to not having it and if you're a Hustler, you get that money back and then some...
I'm in North Carolina (in Sacramento as I type but I live in NC), put myself on chikd support for my two oldest kids in October 2021, got it "official" at court in September 2022. It was a necessary move, I'd always given my okdest kids' mother money but it got to a point where she was pressing me. It worked out, I would rather not be on it but it's better than her running my pockets dry...
Not on child support for my youngest daughter though I'm getting really close to initiating child support for her too. Same thing, her mom gets money from me every month, and now she on some "its not enough" shyt. Don't want to have to do it...
In January I'm going to start a custody order for both mothers of my children, as both don't want to agree to a split custody where we can get it notarized. I've had issues from both at different times with seeing my girls...
Both mothers are somewhat stable, not on drugs, are employed. My oldest girls' mom won't agree to a custody arrangement because it'll impact her child support; she won't say this but I know it's part of the reason. She has a full time job she does well at, a part time thing she works maybe 4 or 5 days a month, she's engaged, but she's unreliable with equitable time with my children...
I know that when I put in this custody order, she could fight back by asking for more child support. But given she's about to be married, has two jobs, I'm not really concerned about that. She wants to move back to Virginia at some point, or to Orlando where she has family, though a move isn't imminent. In my opinion, if I attack this preemptively, I can assure myself some protections even if she chooses to move out of state at some point...
I'm considering a move back here to California, so its another reason I'm going to start the process. It's not set in stone, but in the event I do, I want to make sure I have something concrete that allows me to see my girls...
My youngest daughter's mom told me a month ago she is trying to move back to Brooklyn (where she's from) by the end of 2024. Said she wanted to tell me so I wouldn't feel blindsided if something shook for her. She also won't agree to a split custody because "you don't do what you're supposed to do for her now, why would I agree to letting her come live with you"?
Which is false and gaslighting by the way...
She is employed but an unproductive weedhead. Has nothing else really going on for herself. Both of these women are getting state assistance, this one isn't getting child support though...
So I wanted to give you some background, what should I expect from initiating custody proceedings? It took 10-11 months to resolve child support, so I assume it'll be awhile before custody is finalized too. But I guess my biggest things that I want to feel secure before I start this process...
My parents say I should do this regardless off the strength that both have played with me seeing my girls in the past. A custody order will prevent that in the future. For me, I want to give them the opportunity to make an agreement with me outside of court, but I don't feel like I should wait forever. And I also don't want having a custody order to impact the ability to see my girls outside of the time I have them, that's important to me...
Like I'm going for split/joint, to have them in summers, but I also still want to be able to have or see my girls on select holidays or throughout the year at random times. Like, I know a custody order isn't a restraining order, it doesn't mean just because it says I can have them in the summer, that's the only time I can have them, right?
I just want to be secure, I'm 90% there that I'm going to do this shyt next month, but given the info I provided you, do you support me doing this ir should I hold off?
By the way, if I felt it was realistic I'd go for full custody for all the girls. I know it isn't, though...
I'm in North Carolina (in Sacramento as I type but I live in NC), put myself on chikd support for my two oldest kids in October 2021, got it "official" at court in September 2022. It was a necessary move, I'd always given my okdest kids' mother money but it got to a point where she was pressing me. It worked out, I would rather not be on it but it's better than her running my pockets dry...
Not on child support for my youngest daughter though I'm getting really close to initiating child support for her too. Same thing, her mom gets money from me every month, and now she on some "its not enough" shyt. Don't want to have to do it...
You are the person I need to talk to, even though our circumstances are different...
In January I'm going to start a custody order for both mothers of my children, as both don't want to agree to a split custody where we can get it notarized. I've had issues from both at different times with seeing my girls...
Both mothers are somewhat stable, not on drugs, are employed. My oldest girls' mom won't agree to a custody arrangement because it'll impact her child support; she won't say this but I know it's part of the reason. She has a full time job she does well at, a part time thing she works maybe 4 or 5 days a month, she's engaged, but she's unreliable with equitable time with my children...
I know that when I put in this custody order, she could fight back by asking for more child support. But given she's about to be married, has two jobs, I'm not really concerned about that. She wants to move back to Virginia at some point, or to Orlando where she has family, though a move isn't imminent. In my opinion, if I attack this preemptively, I can assure myself some protections even if she chooses to move out of state at some point...
I'm considering a move back here to California, so its another reason I'm going to start the process. It's not set in stone, but in the event I do, I want to make sure I have something concrete that allows me to see my girls...
My youngest daughter's mom told me a month ago she is trying to move back to Brooklyn (where she's from) by the end of 2024. Said she wanted to tell me so I wouldn't feel blindsided if something shook for her. She also won't agree to a split custody because "you don't do what you're supposed to do for her now, why would I agree to letting her come live with you"?
Which is false and gaslighting by the way...
She is employed but an unproductive weedhead. Has nothing else really going on for herself. Both of these women are getting state assistance, this one isn't getting child support though...
So I wanted to give you some background, what should I expect from initiating custody proceedings? It took 10-11 months to resolve child support, so I assume it'll be awhile before custody is finalized too. But I guess my biggest things that I want to feel secure before I start this process...
My parents say I should do this regardless off the strength that both have played with me seeing my girls in the past. A custody order will prevent that in the future. For me, I want to give them the opportunity to make an agreement with me outside of court, but I don't feel like I should wait forever. And I also don't want having a custody order to impact the ability to see my girls outside of the time I have them, that's important to me...
Like I'm going for split/joint, to have them in summers, but I also still want to be able to have or see my girls on select holidays or throughout the year at random times. Like, I know a custody order isn't a restraining order, it doesn't mean just because it says I can have them in the summer, that's the only time I can have them, right?
I just want to be secure, I'm 90% there that I'm going to do this shyt next month, but given the info I provided you, do you support me doing this ir should I hold off?
By the way, if I felt it was realistic I'd go for full custody for all the girls. I know it isn't, though...
The problem is for every father who would consistently send money directly, there’s other dudes who wouldn’t.
I’m thankful for my first bm, our kid is about to be 18, and we made an agreement to make eachothers life easy since we weren’t gonna make it.
Second bm had those papers sent to my crib. Said ppl were telling her to do it, they said to her that’s how it works
I ended up marrying her though. It’s been working out great for us, but I’m not blind to what she’ll pull if we split up.
Second bm had those papers sent to my crib. Said ppl were telling her to do it, they said to her that’s how it works
I ended up marrying her though. It’s been working out great for us, but I’m not blind to what she’ll pull if we split up.
murksiderock
Superstar
I'm always looking for advice, can you go in detail on the agreement you and your first BM had on making each other's lives easier, specifically regarding custody?I’m thankful for my first bm, our kid is about to be 18, and we made an agreement to make eachothers life easy since we weren’t gonna make it.
Second bm had those papers sent to my crib. Said ppl were telling her to do it, they said to her that’s how it works
I ended up marrying her though. It’s been working out great for us, but I’m not blind to what she’ll pull if we split up.
When he was 2 yes old, We sat down, and I discussed with her that I’ll always be there for my son and help her in any way I can, and she agreed to the same for me. We agreed that our son would stay with her, but if she ever needed me to take him, I would.
There were no restrictions on when I could see him. Many times I slept at her place when he had school and I’d take him to the bus stop.
We also agreed to split his expenses down the middle. He’s been to daycare, plays sports, but there are times I pay for certain activities and flights myself. She pays for certain travel for him on her own too.
Our agreement is verbal, nothing in writing.