Anybody on here Schizophrenic? Wanna vent...

ThaRealness

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I know how you feel man. I can be very calm and have violent thoughts. I play with knives at work. I imagine hurting people everyday. Today this guy I don't like was near the sink. I imagined drowning him in the sink and leaving his body in the sink.

I think about throwing hot oil on people and beating them with hot baking sheets or rotisserie spits. I want to lodge a meat clever in someone's chest. Or take a serrated knife and stick it in someone's throat.

Luckily I control myself. I pray everyday I don't lose my temper. So far so good.
We fightin different demons man

My mental illness has nothing to do with violent urges or desires. Im not fascinated with death or violence. If Im sittin at work fantasizing, its about making it as a musician and slayin mad groupies

Pure OCD breaks down like this. Your subconscoius/semi conscious mind takes every situation as a challenge to produce asmany most fukked up thoughts as possible.

Idk man... I cant speak on your situation, but the only way you'll move forward is by finding psychological and spiritual freedom. That could come from a hobby, financial security, friends, a girlfriend etc.
You've gotta want to change your life for the better. More then anything. . Ive found from my experience, the will to persevere can't be underesetimated. Most times Ive layed judgement on someone, Ive been wrong. My friend became an absolute scumbag, and seemed like a borderline sociopath for yearss. All he would talk about is how cold the world is, how he was better then everyone else, and how morality is a lie. He would fixate on occult illuminati rituals... start long convesrations about illuminati sacrifice rituals :scust:

I had a sneaking suspicion he enjoyed that shyt.

2 years ago he was a coke dealer who kept a machete in his closet.

I thought he was a lost cause. My parents asked me about him, I said his brain was fried and I cant help him:to:

But 2 months ago, dude stopped smoking weed all day, stopped dealing and got his shyt together. Hes boutta move out to San Fran and became and go to music tech school. I got major respect for him- dude works his ass 7 days a week, saving up money so he can live good in Cali :wow:

Youve got to make major changes in your life. Having the same routine, seeing same places, and talking to the same people everyday will wear you down.
 

Sccit

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:dahell:you've never met someone with schizophrenia, have you?


YES I HAVE AND KNOW PEOPLE PERSONALLY WHO DIED FROM PSYCH MEDS, AFTER SPENDING THEIR LATTER YEARS WALKIN AROUND LIKE DRUGGED UP ZOMBIES .. THERES DIFFERENT LEVELS TO IT. SOUNDS LIKE U ONLY KNOW IT AS THE CONDITION IN ME MYSELF AND IRENE
 
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The Mad Titan

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We fightin different demons man

My mental illness has nothing to do with violent urges or desires. Im not fascinated with death or violence. If Im sittin at work fantasizing, its about making it as a musician and slayin mad groupies

Pure OCD breaks down like this. Your subconscoius/semi conscious mind takes every situation as a challenge to produce asmany most fukked up thoughts as possible.

Idk man... I cant speak on your situation, but the only way you'll move forward is by finding psychological and spiritual freedom. That could come from a hobby, financial security, friends, a girlfriend etc.
You've gotta want to change your life for the better. More then anything. . Ive found from my experience, the will to persevere can't be underesetimated. Most times Ive layed judgement on someone, Ive been wrong. My friend became an absolute scumbag, and seemed like a borderline sociopath for yearss. All he would talk about is how cold the world is, how he was better then everyone else, and how morality is a lie. He would fixate on occult illuminati rituals... start long convesrations about illuminati sacrifice rituals :scust:

I had a sneaking suspicion he enjoyed that shyt.

2 years ago he was a coke dealer who kept a machete in his closet.

I thought he was a lost cause. My parents asked me about him, I said his brain was fried and I cant help him:to:

But 2 months ago, dude stopped smoking weed all day, stopped dealing and got his shyt together. Hes boutta move out to San Fran and became and go to music tech school. I got major respect for him- dude works his ass 7 days a week, saving up money so he can live good in Cali :wow:

Youve got to make major changes in your life. Having the same routine, seeing same places, and talking to the same people everyday will wear you down.
:wow:
 

Sccit

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Dude shut up. Meds can literally save peoples lives. Get outta here with that all natural crap.

I've tried that, I told myself for years that I could not take meds and deal wyty it on my own. WRONG. I'm unable to be a functioning member of society due to my untreated mental illness. People like yourself don't realize how dangerous your advice can be


MY UNCLE HAD SCHIZOPHRENIA AND DIED FROM PSYCH MEDS


GOOD LUCK
 

Capitol

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Yeah I have bipolar. It's fukking hard. And people with bipolar are more likely to kill them selves compared to someone with depression because of how impulsive we are.

I was on lithium but hated it. And was actually being prescribed so much I ended up being poisoned.

I tried to go back to school, to college last month but ended up dropping out the second week. I couldn't do it.

When I was 19 and younger I spent 5 years in and out of hospitals, trying out different meds etc until I said fukk it and told myself I could deal with it on my own. I'm now 27 and about two months realized I just can't do that. I need professional help. It's gotten so much worse as I've gotten older. I deal with more so the depression than the mania but the past few years I've been dealing with "rapid cycling" which is bouncing between the two and there's been times where I'd be all the way up just to come crashing down like 10 times throughout a day for a few weeks. It made me want to kill my self so bad. It's so bad for your brain health
What else have you been doing to try and change this? When you went without the meds did you excercise, change your diet, try new things, pursu
 

GreenGhxst

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That's crazy man, I really feel for yall. That shyt got me sad. Yall ever go see a priest or something? Not trying to undermine you and say it's that simple, but can't hurt to try.
 

DuncanWebayama

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My ass been fighting this my whole life :damn: It runs in the family too, my uncle suffers from it severely and nobody even cares. This shyt is hell and I don't know what else to do. I'm tired of trying to fight this. :to:
Yo man, keep your head up. What I mean by that is take your meds. I know somebody suffering that refuses to take the meds and every time they stop they become different, and off the edge. I knew a girl that stopped, she ran away from home and was found dead, she was a great girl the community loved her, but didn't see what she was going through. Keep ya head up man
 

DuncanWebayama

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I got a cousin that's bipolar, he's an awesome rapper and can freestyle his ass off. One day nippsey hussle came to do a community event, he took his shoes off, handed me his phone and said record this, he ran then my buddy stopped him. When he calmed down he told me what he was going to do. He said "I was going to knock his ass out, post it on the Internet and start my rap career" I was like :ohhh:
 

HoldThisL

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Yeah I have bipolar. It's fukking hard. And people with bipolar are more likely to kill them selves compared to someone with depression because of how impulsive we are.

I was on lithium but hated it. And was actually being prescribed so much I ended up being poisoned.

I tried to go back to school, to college last month but ended up dropping out the second week. I couldn't do it.

When I was 19 and younger I spent 5 years in and out of hospitals, trying out different meds etc until I said fukk it and told myself I could deal with it on my own. I'm now 27 and about two months realized I just can't do that. I need professional help. It's gotten so much worse as I've gotten older. I deal with more so the depression than the mania but the past few years I've been dealing with "rapid cycling" which is bouncing between the two and there's been times where I'd be all the way up just to come crashing down like 10 times throughout a day for a few weeks. It made me want to kill my self so bad. It's so bad for your brain health

I got Bi-polar too and in college. Shyt is mad stressful, but I'm making my way :francis:.

Have not had a job in like 3-4 years also because of it and other mental issues, but I been feeling pretty good lately and gonna take a chance with employment. Hopefully I don't quit within 2 weeks like I normally do :francis:
 

GUWOPPERS

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It's been 6 years since my first episode. I was smoking heavy and would still try to smoke, which would cause me to get extremely paranoid and have an episode. I stopped smoking and eventually after a few years, I started getting out again.

This whole time though I've felt my life was like the Truman show. It's fukking horrible. Mess make me feel like shyt so i drink because it makes me happy and not think about it as much.

My grandma, who pretty much raised me until 9, had depression/cancer 5 times and my mom is severely bipolar/depressed and had cancer 3 times. All that happened before I was 18. I've seen my mom attempt suicide several times and put her in a mental hospital a couple times.

I dealt with so much fukking stress when I was younger. That's why I smoked so much. Then suddenly I couldn't smoke anymore. I feel like my brain was trying to figure out why all this shyt was happening to the people I loved and what it came up with was that it was all bullshyt and fake. Idk.

The messed up part is there is no way to prove its not actually happening, so I just deal with it.
 

NotaPAWG

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I got Bi-polar too and in college. Shyt is mad stressful, but I'm making my way :francis:.

Have not had a job in like 3-4 years also because of it and other mental issues, but I been feeling pretty good lately and gonna take a chance with employment. Hopefully I don't quit within 2 weeks like I normally do :francis:

I've never had a job longer than a few months.. it's not because I'm lazy because when I do work I'm a great worker the thing is I get myself so overwhelmed with the dumbest shyt that I impulsively quit

When I was working at Publix I cried on three separate occasions while working the cashier because of mean customers. The last time some a$$hole was flipping out at me because he tried to buy something he couldn't with food stamps and owed money and basically was just insulating me. I was tearing up and when I was done with him I just started crying and walked out.
 
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