Approach A Chick On POF. She Said She Doesnt Date Her Race?

[Ohene]

I have called out that colorism so many times in real life mostly black women. I don't play with the shadeism...you're really attractive, they were just hating.
My mom.is lighter than me and wishes she had my skin tone. I think black people are beautiful light to dark

there's beauty in all shades, it doesnt matter.

Fundamentally, it's a matter of self-esteem at the end of the day. Maybe there were subtle things my parents did when I was a child to instill that sense of pride and self worth but I always thought I was the shyt.

I remember even looking at light skinned older women in church, my sister would comment on them bleaching their skin in some cases. All i could do is . Weak minded people probably go //. Nigerians I've noticed are the worst with it though.

 

[↓R↑LYB]

Word. Are you of the mind set that we should leave America? feel we are as entitled to this land as anyone since our ancestors built the shyt and we still shape society in a major way from music to fashion to slang to sexuality to comedy. I don't want to feel like we have no future here. nikkas just gotta wake up.

I absolutely feel we should leave America. I don't feel entitled to this land. My family is Jamaican. We got dropped off the slave ship earlier than you did (even though I was born here) so I have no allegiance to this country. And I honestly don't believe we have a future here, primarily because our people haven't woken up and very few of us is trying to wake our people up.

Black people unfortunately aren't serious about dealing with white supremacy. We like to play around with it and give it the least amount of work possible. In 2014 you still got black people who don't believe they are oppressed.

 

[Yup]

there's beauty in all shades, it doesnt matter.

Fundamentally, it's a matter of self-esteem at the end of the day. Maybe there were subtle things my parents did when I was a child to instill that sense of pride and self worth but I always thought I was the shyt.

I remember even looking at light skinned older women in church, my sister would comment on them bleaching their skin in some cases. All i could do is . Weak minded people probably go //. Nigerians I've noticed are the worst with it though.

Love my naija peeps but their bleaching is second to none...them and congolese people. On the other hand...the pressures of shadeism is real so I cut some people some slack. I am harder on the mockers than the bleachers.

 

[AITheAnswerAI]

Imma be real, she didn't put down black men at all. She simply said she wasn't interested.

Self-Hate by definition means she finds fault in herself. It doesn't mean herself and people like her. Ethnic self hatred would.
1. We don't know her life, we only know this snippet, and The Coli bias for anyone saying something like she did automatically means she will be demonized.
Is the prevailing preference on the coli to date only blacks a form of ethnic love, or simply a hatred for others? We can't have it both ways.
2. Again, she never put down black men, and she made a fair arguement. She might be in love with alabaster skin, square jawed, Calvin Klein model types. What is wrong with that?

Granted, I can never understand writing off dating people simply because of their skin color or ethnic background, as it seems silly for me to say "I dont date black girls/indian girls/white girls/etc" when I find all kinds attractive. That said, her preference to not date them doesn't make her bad, especially if she didn't go on a tangent about the lazy and disrespectful Tyrones and Deshawns of the world.
She might very well love herself, she just don't find particular features of black men attractive. I typically don't find flat butts attractive, whether on white or black women, but its more prevalent on white women. Does writing off a white woman with a flat butt make me racist, and not accepting a flat butt sista me exhibiting self hate? I think this term is being used as a weapon and not a diagnosis.

You need to read between the lines. This sounds like some shyt a cac would say. I bet if she spoke freely or got pissed off, she'd let out a whole lot of things that sound not quite so tip toe and pc.

 

[At30wecashout]

You need to read between the lines. This sounds like some shyt a cac would say. I bet if she spoke freely or got pissed off, she'd let out a whole lot of things that sound not quite so tip toe and pc.

TILL she does so, im not judging. Im not calling the cops just cause some young buck in a hoodie been hanging around too long. Im not calling a white teacher racist when they give me a hard time about something. I don't make it a point to jump to conclusions, for one because it is stupid, another because I dislike when people do it to me. We know nothing about her, and we can't fill in the blanks on her life. Innocent till proven guilty.

 

[OatmealCreamPie]

Since this girl is an African then this is for African men to worry about. Not our problem.

 

[AITheAnswerAI]

Same silly logic as Raven Simone. "I don't like labels, i'm not African-American............... i'm a human i'm a American."


Erm.... aren't those labels too? Aren't black men people too?

I'm telling you, black women who have issues with being black talk all this "we're all the same" "BS. Anything to be lumped in more so with white people.

 

[TMNT4000]

Good post but I don't know what's the point of the first paragraph. You pressed to sound smart fam? What does the scientific views on race have to do with the social realities of it? Your use of scientific technicality to try and justify why nikkas shouldn't be annoyed that one of our "non-scientifically supported" women feels this way is kinda whack. It's disheartening, not because of a blow to the ego, but just because observing such blatant lack of love for her own is sad. Pretty girl at that too.

I only see black people use the "no such thing as race" card and that shyt is embarrassing.

And you can't not tell me there's no such thing as race, when each race is different in appearance, attributes, and even bio.

 

[AITheAnswerAI]

Cant call her stupid, 'cause most geneticists agree on the unscientific taxons of race. The idea that black people are 'YOUR" people isnt biologically supportable. So shes right there.

But where she's dead wrong, and where I agree with y'all, is her small-mindedness and wack hatred. Its one thing to have preferences, e.g Asian women are low on my dating preference scale, but Ive dated a couple because we clicked. I couldnt IMAGINE ever forming my lips to say that "I dont date your kind", especially someone from my own general ethnicity. Thats an awful way to go about life.

I can understand white people outwardly excluding categories, since western societal pre-programming for whites to feel superior and hostile to others is so potent, but to see people of color pull that is bugged. Her parents certainly failed her.

You know what the problem is, no other group talking all this BS. You don't see Asians or Indians or Jews talking all this crap, they're proud to be who they are. Self hating blacks talk all that BS because they have issues being black.

 

[AITheAnswerAI]

The answer to solving the issue is pretty simple, but black people don't want to hear it. Separate from among cacs and do for ourselves. I've been listening to videos of Leo Muhammad from the NOI and he's saying a lot of real ass shyt about us finally separating from white people. But our people love cacs so much that we'd never leave them.

If we separated ourselves and put all our money into our community, black people would develop economic power, which is real power. That would scare the shyt out of white people, because that's really been their fear all along, for black people to get on equal footing with them.

 

[Yup]

I'm telling you, black women who have issues with being black talk all this "we're all the same" "BS. Anything to be lumped in more so with white people.

I hear the I love colors from black men more than I hear black women say this.

 

[AITheAnswerAI]

I hear the I love colors from black men more than I hear black women say this.

I don't know what "I love colors" means but if you mean all this "We're all the same" BS, then fukk them. shyt like that means you don't like being called black and you want to be white.

 

[TMNT4000]

If we separated ourselves and put all our money into our community, black people would develop economic power, which is real power. That would scare the shyt out of white people, because that's really been their fear all along, for black people to get on equal footing with them.

From sports, music, and movies, we could the most powerful econimic power if we just own our own shyt.

I hear the I love colors from black men more than I hear black women say this.

I don't know about that but I will say both bm and bw say it pretty evenly.

 

[↓R↑LYB]

If we separated ourselves and put all our money into our community, black people would develop economic power, which is real power. That would scare the shyt out of white people, because that's really been their fear all along, for black people to get on equal footing with them.

The operative word is if. You tell the average black person that and you'll be looked at as insane. shyt even in the group I work (whose goal is to benefit the black community) you got people that want to allow whites to join and want to take "black" out of our groups name. Whether it's the cats that's still asleep or the so called conscious cats, very few of us want to actually separate from whites. I know I'm in the very small minority when it comes to that belief system and that's why I can't see a future in America.

There was a thread on here a while back talking about group economics and you got dudes who were arguing about the simplicity of spending your money with other black people.

 

[Desirous]

Lol so the real got you feeling some type of way. Let me ask you this though, after me informing you of why your feelings on this issue are more or less irrelevant, why would you think I would care about you telling me how I should feel about this?

I don't. Of course she doesn't directly affect my daily happenings but her mind state is disgusting and counter productive(since you like that word) to the elevation of black self esteem. The less people of my color who think like her the better. There is nothing positive to take away from a mind set like that. She's a black woman who doesn't like black men. The sentence sounds funny even typing it. Ridiculous.

Your feelings on it are pretty irrelevant as well. You're no one to her, I'm no one to her. Our opinions are just that.

Personally, I can't understand how someone would rule out an entire race, whether your own or not, when it comes to dating. But, just because I don't agree with it doesn't mean anything to the person involved.

The fact is, this woman views things from a different perspective and if you want to "shed some light" as to why she shouldn't, then shaming her and calling her names only perpetuates her feelings and dislike. People have to set an example and be an example of what they want to represent.