hoodheronova
All Star
I swear if my shawty tried this shyt with me our relationship would be over the moment the bill hits that table
Bae Is Becoming Cheap. Help A Bruhette Out?
- Thread starter A Woman's Opinion
- Start date
darius19
R.I.P. Kobe and Nip, that’s off the rip
its easy to see why the dating game is all messed up
OP has a valid point if her man is slowly paying for less and less... but you got men in this thread talmbout "she's just a golddigger!!!" and females in this thread talmbout "this is why you never pay on the first few dates gurl!!!"
...all you gotta do is talk to him and go dutch on dates if y'all wanna go out
or go do things that are free like some people mentioned
I fukk with chicks who are willing to go dutch or pay for a few dates here and there, makes me respect em a lot more
OP has a valid point if her man is slowly paying for less and less... but you got men in this thread talmbout "she's just a golddigger!!!" and females in this thread talmbout "this is why you never pay on the first few dates gurl!!!"
...all you gotta do is talk to him and go dutch on dates if y'all wanna go out
or go do things that are free like some people mentionedI fukk with chicks who are willing to go dutch or pay for a few dates here and there, makes me respect em a lot more
darius19
R.I.P. Kobe and Nip, that’s off the rip
ahh yes, because women are asking men out on dates at the same rate men are asking women, right?
thats what i'm saying, black men are totally fukking idiotic when it comes to the gold digging shyt. we collectively have NO gold to dig, but let a woman expect the bare essentials like having dates paid for, and she's a goddamn gold digging whore that should be happy with paying for dates.its easy to see why the dating game is all messed up
OP has a valid point if her man is slowly paying for less and less... but you got men in this thread talmbout "she's just a golddigger!!!" and females in this thread talmbout "this is why you never pay on the first few dates gurl!!!"
...all you gotta do is talk to him and go dutch on dates if y'all wanna go out
I fukk with chicks who are willing to go dutch or pay for a few dates here and there, makes me respect em a lot more
the 50/50 shyt DOES NOT WORK. women only pretend they want that shyt until its too late.
FTFY brehette. Generalizations aren't healthy.
But yeah, talking to him is best. I remember I was going through the same thing with my girl actually, and out of the blue she just started saying "Can you buy me lunch/dessert/drink?" instead of "Let's go out for lunch/dessert/drink?".
I'd sometimes humor her and say shyt like: "It's 2015, you should be paying me for dates with your feminist ass
(with this exact face)". And she'd sometimes respond with a "Yeah, but I'm still a girl that likes being catered to every once in a while! 
" and sometimes she'd respond with a "Alright bae, next time I got you!" 
Point is: We didn't exactly sit down and have an objective convo on who should pay for what when and how much...but we also didn't not talk about it. Instead we just let each other know what we wanted, and it worked out. So much so that at the end of 1 and 1/2 years she'd know when to pull her wallet out without me even asking and vice-versa. Which surprised me because I was pretty #HOH, and suddenly here I was pulling my wallet out for breakfast and telling my boo: "Here I got you this time,
don't get used to it though!
I'm supposed to be a pimp, not your client! Damn what am I doing?" and she'd be like: "You're a horrible pimp then 
I still love you though!
"Corny as they were: these were actual words that were exchanged...and now they're just funny and pleasant memories. Damn I miss her.
Taadow
The StarchBishop™️
The bold parts are the problem.
Y'all have worked your self into a "routine" that's "kinda understood".
If you ain't wit' the way it's going, you better say something ASAP to make it "fully understood",
because routines are hard to break.
If you don't y'all gonna fucc around and get married...and one day at the movies you gonna snap on him because
he'll decide that day he does want a snack and he gonna put some Raisinettes and Milk Duds up on the counter and wait for you to pay,
and you ain't gonna wanna have it that day. Since it's a routine he ain't gonna kow what da bidness is,
and since you're a woman you gonna be like "NOTHIN'...just nothin', muthafucca..."
So he'll just think "well damn, maybe I should just let her go to the movies by herself..." and then you gonna go to the movies all by yo' dammy, and then you gonna see one of your exes at the moviehouse.
Then y'all gonna start kickin' it on the low, and you gonna fucc him, then ya man is gonna kill you. And when he go to jail,
his teenage daughter gonna be out thurr bad.
Don't let his daughter be out thurr bad.
The Refiner
Pro
So you want to be appreciated. God, I hate that word when it comes to women.
So because you pay for dates sometimes, he should spend extra money to show his appreciation for you paying sometimes...
He might as well just pay for all the dates. Maybe I'm cheap but I think it's a lot of unnecessary gestures if you're going to pay sometimes, and then feel like less of a woman (unappreciated) because you pay sometimes.
This seems like one big test on your part. It may not be, but I wouldn't be surprised if he thinks that after you confront him.
So you're mad that in a relationship, you're going dutch or contributing sometimes? SMH.
Break up with him immediately, he obviously doesn't deserve you and you can do better.
witchodumbazz
Break up with him immediately, he obviously doesn't deserve you and you can do better.
witchodumbazz
The honey moon phase is over
the oxytocin aint flowing like it used to
You let him get too comfortable, OP
the oxytocin aint flowing like it used to
You let him get too comfortable, OP
You let him get too comfortable, OP
I don't see the problem here. Is she contributing to the dates more than him? (I didnt get that sense from her posts)
If she can be satisfied with him contributing the majority of the time while going out less frequently, then she can speak up.
Dude is older and has more pressing financial needs according to her (car repairs, a teenage daughter), she's running the risk of having that nicca tell her to kick rocks.
OP says she's perfectly happy with this dude and how he treats her except for this nagging thing. And she ready to risk it all cuz he expects her to kick in from time to time? She gon learn today.
A Woman's Opinion
All Star
OP wants that option. i don't even feel like she cares about the money that much. she just feels like she lost that power. like she put herself in a position to where if she doesn't pay, it will be awkward. she would be just fine paying as much as she does now if dude wasn't so sure she would pay. she lost that control and is frustrated about that. i honestly have no advice. i just think we (meaning people) are funny as fukk
THANK YOU.
You get it. This is 100% IT! I couldn't find the right words. Thanks.
We talked about it. We made up.
I got a new purse.
Thanks Guyz!
mcdivit85
Superstar
Hey Guys...
I spoke about my boyfriend in the other thread, but I am having a relationship problem I would like your advice about. My boyfriend is becoming cheap, and I don't know how to confront him about this without seeming... greedy?
When we first started dating we would take turns paying for dates. He would get one, I would get the next one. This isn't something we agreed to, but it is something I did because our living situations are different. We both have decent jobs, but I have less bills than him, and he has a teenager. (I know she is expensive. lol)
He would ask me out, and I would just pay the bill when it came... . He would look shocked and say, "thanks".
Or if we went to the movies he would buy the tickets, and I would buy the snacks. (I like a lot of snacks, and I know they can be expensive)
Lately though he is getting comfortable. He doesn't want to date as much, and if we do, he looks for me to pick up the tab, or contribute something, always. (like a least the tip) At first, he didn't do this.
I don't mind contributing. I have shown him that. However, I don't want to always have to.
Am I wrong for that?
My mother AND Brother warned me about this. When you give a man an inch, they will take a mile! Why would he start taking advantage like that?I never call him asking for money or help. Shouldn't he appreciate that? Shouldn't that be rewarded?
Now it seems like he thinks he doesn't have to do anything for me, or just do nice things.
When trying to be independent backfires, eh?
#HelpPlease
So, you want props for not asking him to pay you bills or lend you some money? As an adult, why would that be expected?
It sounds like you assume that a man should, or at least be willing to, give his girlfriend money for her bills or for no reason at all. And that if she doesn't ask, then somehow she's doing him a favor by saving him money. And that she should be applauded for that. No, she's a grown woman who should be able to make her own way. If a woman feels entitled to my money, and she aint my wife, then she's on a one-wat ride to The Bushes.
And real talk, your father and brother sound like tricks of the first order. Dudes always think its women or their mothers that give them these wack, one-sided ways of thinking. No, in many cases, its their fathers and brothers who are so scared of someone taking advantage of their family that they give some of the worst, keep-a-b#tch-single-for-life advice ever.
If you have a problem with having to pick up the bill sometimes, then tell him. May end up well, may not.
But y'all kill with me with that wanting to be equal but then trip when the responsibilities of being equal start hitting your wallet. Equality is not always about the good stuff like equal pay for equal work. It also means you get the same responsibilities and punisments.
Peace
