Being in your 30s with no kids and not being married puts you in a strange place.

[bourgeoisie tall freak]

You can have kids and be sociable still travel a lot. There's a misconception on here that your life is over with kids and you can't do anything.

i agree on this. i think it may be a "strange place" for dating trying to find a similar person... but not so social wise i guess depending on how you like to be social. me for example, i got a lot of "soccer mom/dad" friends so they are free at some point in time to do lunch/brunch...they got kids that they actually do right by so you are always invited to b-days, sports events, school functions, camping, swimming, attractions, other wholesome fun activities.... night time activities can get a little sparse though but I can be sociable when i want to so going out alone doesn't bother me at all, in fact I usually have a good time talking to random people when im out alone which half the time doesn't happen when your in your crew.

 

[The Mad Titan]

I wasn’t even being funny this time. The internet is a great place to meet like minded people and realize you’re really not a unicorn.

Hey you don't have to tell me that lol

 

[Ronnie Lott]

Let’s be real. A lot of dudes (not all) don’t really have options like that in the first place. bytches ain’t checking for you. Some nikkaz be in denial acting like they out here smashin bad bytches left and right and turning down relationships

 

[TEH]

My dad telling me I should get married and shyt this nikka even said a mans main focus should be finding a woman, not money ....have a simp for a dad brehs

This mentality is killing black folks

 

[Standing on business]

This is how me and my wife are.

No kids, both have good incomes and we travel about every 3 months

Sometimes we want kids and most of the time we don't.

I have a friend with kids and his weekdays are literally work, pick up the kids, sit in the house

I'll be honest here, naw you're not going to leave work and go to happy hour everyday when you have kids. Weekdays are usually gymnastics, music, and b ball practice, and sometimes unscheduled doctor visits, but the joy you get watching your kids out there competing is a wonderful feeling. You and your wife make good money so the vacations shouldn't stop. Do y'all have immediately family in the same city as y'all? If not then that could be an issue.

 

[CreepyMcCreeperson]

Sometimes, I see my friends', and sister's kids acting up, and I think:


But I still want to get married and have kids, I'm just not actively looking right now.

I also don't have some ridiculous time frame, and will not wife a woman who is not up to my standards. And I don't have ridiculius standards. BLACK, attractive face, physically fit, no kids, non smoker, feminine, domestic, lady in the streets, freak in the sheets, cool to hang out with, and doesn't start drama for attention, and pro black. My ex had nothing but white friends, and I don't have to tell you how that was. I'm wiliing to work on her if she needs help in a few areas. I'd be willing to suggest she goes to the gym. But I'm getting sick of going to events alone.

 

[O.G.B]

My dad telling me I should get married and shyt this nikka even said a mans main focus should be finding a woman, not money ....have a simp for a dad brehs

At least you're intelligent enough to realize this!

 

[BlackBall]

I just don’t get how so many people fall for the “get married and have kids “ bullshyt

 

[GoldenGlove]

Once people find out that you're over 30, no kids and not married, they'll tend to try to find ways to bring you in the land of misery. Folks out here lying like having kids is a walk in the park and marriage is the best thing ever. Live life on your own terms.

Are you making this up cause typically people find this out about someone and just be like, "Damn your lucky".

If you're in your 30s and you do want to have kids that's something to think about cause, the longer you wait the harder it is to keep up with the lil rugrats. And also, that clock is ticking... how old do you want to be when your kids grow up? 50s 60s?

 

[666 ReVeNGe 666]

I'll be honest here, naw you're not going to leave work and go to happy hour everyday when you have kids. Weekdays are usually gymnastics, music, and b ball practice, and sometimes unscheduled doctor visits, but the joy you get watching your kids out there competing is a wonderful feeling. You and your wife make good money so the vacations shouldn't stop. Do y'all have immediately family in the same city as y'all? If not then that could be an issue.

Close family is 45 to 60 minutes away.

Not too far.

But we still late 20s so gonna wait it out a few years.

Still looking at houses but waiting because I still might have that Dallas plug in 2018.

 

[malbaker86]

I always get tired of hearing the " you're an educated black man with good career and you're handsome. So what are you single and have no kids?" nonsense.

Because...BECAUSE I CAN!

I normally keep it cool when people say it but deep down that shyt irks me to death. Especially when it's from my cousins who fukked around and got themselves tied up with kids out of wedlock and cant go nowhere half the time. They look at me like, I was in Miami for thanksgiving. In Costa Rica for Christmas. In the Bahamas a couple of days later. And I have a trip booked for Turks & Caicos on the 29th of this month. If my homeboy comes thru with the buddy passes from his job i might be in Europe MLK weekend.
All with different women except for Bahamas and T&C
CHOICES you made in the past and present determine what CHOICES are available to you in the future.

Dont get me wrong i know if i dont have no children by the time im much older i may regret it but in the meantime my focus is to enjoy the life that's available to me NOW.

I tell my single homie to not rush love and just travel and live life and fukk bytches. He mid 30's and tired of being single so my other advice is to find a female who has a lot going on for herself already and build with her. nikka hard headed and not taking my advice

He see me as married and with kids and want what i have but i told em, everybody path to love and happiness is different. Just bc i married young don't mean he a fukk up

 

[NaijaProdigy Redux]

This isn’t an issue in a major city. Move.

 

[King Poetic]

Once people find out that you're over 30, no kids and not married, they'll tend to try to find ways to bring you in the land of misery. Folks out here lying like having kids is a walk in the park and marriage is the best thing ever. Live life on your own terms.

Agree to a point

The professional sisters and brothers be like " King you so lucky, i can't wait till these kids get out my house so i can have it for myself "

And they all be like you smart, i should have never had any or more than 1

It's usually the broke struggling broads who be like "" you need to get you some kids or find you a woman ( usually hinting at themselves) to start a family with

And they the ones who be shyttin on you

 

[Vodun]

The pressure to get married & have a big wedding as you get older is scary, hoping to find a down ass chick who just wants to go to the courts and sign the papers or better yet just remain my girl forever without the wife title. (Still buying her a ring tho & she can keep it in the event that we break up)

Got me one of those and I'm loving it

 

[Smukie]

Are you making this up cause typically people find this out about someone and just be like, "Damn your lucky".

If you're in your 30s and you do want to have kids that's something to think about cause, the longer you wait the harder it is to keep up with the lil rugrats. And also, that clock is ticking... how old do you want to be when your kids grow up? 50s 60s?

This is not made up at all and when they find out they basically start asking the same question you just did

Women get it the worse! During my 20s I was always told "Don't worry about marriage and kids, you have your whole life for that. Just enjoy yourself and have fun." Now that I'm over 30 everyone is applying pressure. Literally every time I go to the GYN they're asking "Have you started thinking about kids yet? You might need a little help (medication) after 35. I can deliver you a baby up until your around 43".

If you take all that BS into your spirit you'll end up depressed and making bad decisions (settling). That's why I block all that out and stay focused on my goals. WTF I look like letting someone else tell me what I should be doing or making me feel bad about MY life. I feel like in your 20s you should be learning yourself as a person and building your career then enjoying the benefits in your 30s.