No, OP you're not rambling. I know all to well what it feels like to be beaten, spit upon, and made fun of by my own people. The problem, I think, is that black people don't allow other black people to be individuals. We all have to be into the same shyt. If you're a black male you have to be into: sports, shoes, rap, and females (in a hateful, misogynistic, over sexualized kind of way). If you deviate from that small narrow "definition" of what it means to be a black male then you become a joke. Thats why I've always had issues with being friends with other black dudes my age, they want you to be just like them...in every way. I thinks thats why so many black dudes are, right now, walking around with the exact same hair cut. shyt is sad. We HAVE to allow one another to be who we are, and respect one another IN SPITE of those subtle differences!!