Ineedmoney504
SOHH ICEY...WE EATIN
Nah he’s correct. Enabling and babying childish behavior is a path for bad thingsThis some of the Worst advice I’ve ever heard. shyt, why don’t you start beating her too lol.
Coli Breh that have had kid(s) with your girl and maintained the relationship..whats the secret??
- Thread starter johntheblackjew
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True Blue Moon
Superstar
Disclaimer, I don't have kids but I've been married for more than 10 years. But the simple answer, which isn't easy in execution because it is a lifelong journey, is to get on your purpose as a man.
Build your highest self and your most abundant life for YOU, and provide for your family by also letting this abundance trickle down in service and protection for you, your woman and your kid. Make your mission your highest priority (and I'm sure creating the best family you can build is also part of that mission) and keep that as your north star and way of life every day that you wake up and improve yourself.
She'll fall in line with whatever tone and direction you set as long as you are setting one, and that it is rooted in you being a man who is on his purpose and who openly blesses the crib with his masculine gifts. She's wired to be attracted to that, ESPECIALLY during a time as biologically dire as carrying your child.
You, as a man most likely already know which areas of your life you aren't living your peak purpose. She responds to the way you are honestly attacking that and showing up in the world as a man on his mission A LOT more than anything you tell her, because her eggs and biology respond to her knowing she picked the best and most credible suitor. What you want is for her to be inspired to want to fukk you and be attracted to you -- not just obligated.
She responds to who you are as a man in her judgment and estimation more than any agreement or understanding y'all will ever have, breh. Trust me on that. But remember, this is your path as a man, so grow and improve to create the vision of your best life possible --not just to check the boxes of things that she likes.
In fact, when you're on your purpose there will be plenty of times where listening to what she says or doing exactly what she wants you to is the wrong answer.
Pregnant or not, women are like the weather. They're not crazy, but they're going to have more emotional fluctuations than you do. I can legit look my wife in the eyes and see her overthinking mind calculating and drawing conclusions about some shyt that I said 5x faster than the rate I said it.
It's a place of comfort for her to exist like the weather, so she's comfortable working out her issues like that. If you worked your issues out in that way it would rightfully be stressful as fukk. The more solid you stand in the face of her storms, the more she'll know you're the rock and she can trust your judgment, direction and the support and comfort that you provide to the household.
The underlying message is that if you can handle her storms and uncertainty while being rooted in yourself and your purpose as a man, then you can also handle whatever the world throws your way.
I'm not saying put up with disrespect, but you gotta be able to stand solid and know what you know, no matter how the fukk she's acting, because you're a man on his purpose and you know where you're going. Stay present with her while she's tripping and let her know through physical touch and solid energy, not just words, that she has nothing to worry about, she's not fukked up for being emotionally all over the place right now, and that y'alls best days are yet to come -- so stay down.
If you become the prize in LIFE as a man on his purpose, and show up in your relationship as that prize, AND make it so that her life and the household elevates and is taken care of as a result, you'll find that it opens her and she'll be the baddest motherfukking asset to help you in your purpose as a king as you also uplift her to her highest good.
But this is some no days off type shyt...
Making this shyt a lifestyle will keep you locked in so you can fluidly show up how you need to as your own man, as her man, as a professional and as a father.
You're bout to go on a journey
Build your highest self and your most abundant life for YOU, and provide for your family by also letting this abundance trickle down in service and protection for you, your woman and your kid. Make your mission your highest priority (and I'm sure creating the best family you can build is also part of that mission) and keep that as your north star and way of life every day that you wake up and improve yourself.
She'll fall in line with whatever tone and direction you set as long as you are setting one, and that it is rooted in you being a man who is on his purpose and who openly blesses the crib with his masculine gifts. She's wired to be attracted to that, ESPECIALLY during a time as biologically dire as carrying your child.
You, as a man most likely already know which areas of your life you aren't living your peak purpose. She responds to the way you are honestly attacking that and showing up in the world as a man on his mission A LOT more than anything you tell her, because her eggs and biology respond to her knowing she picked the best and most credible suitor. What you want is for her to be inspired to want to fukk you and be attracted to you -- not just obligated.
She responds to who you are as a man in her judgment and estimation more than any agreement or understanding y'all will ever have, breh. Trust me on that. But remember, this is your path as a man, so grow and improve to create the vision of your best life possible --not just to check the boxes of things that she likes.
In fact, when you're on your purpose there will be plenty of times where listening to what she says or doing exactly what she wants you to is the wrong answer.
Pregnant or not, women are like the weather. They're not crazy, but they're going to have more emotional fluctuations than you do. I can legit look my wife in the eyes and see her overthinking mind calculating and drawing conclusions about some shyt that I said 5x faster than the rate I said it.
It's a place of comfort for her to exist like the weather, so she's comfortable working out her issues like that. If you worked your issues out in that way it would rightfully be stressful as fukk. The more solid you stand in the face of her storms, the more she'll know you're the rock and she can trust your judgment, direction and the support and comfort that you provide to the household.
The underlying message is that if you can handle her storms and uncertainty while being rooted in yourself and your purpose as a man, then you can also handle whatever the world throws your way.
I'm not saying put up with disrespect, but you gotta be able to stand solid and know what you know, no matter how the fukk she's acting, because you're a man on his purpose and you know where you're going. Stay present with her while she's tripping and let her know through physical touch and solid energy, not just words, that she has nothing to worry about, she's not fukked up for being emotionally all over the place right now, and that y'alls best days are yet to come -- so stay down.
If you become the prize in LIFE as a man on his purpose, and show up in your relationship as that prize, AND make it so that her life and the household elevates and is taken care of as a result, you'll find that it opens her and she'll be the baddest motherfukking asset to help you in your purpose as a king as you also uplift her to her highest good.
But this is some no days off type shyt...
Making this shyt a lifestyle will keep you locked in so you can fluidly show up how you need to as your own man, as her man, as a professional and as a father.
You're bout to go on a journey
Ineedmoney504
SOHH ICEY...WE EATIN
You talking to a made man. You need to be more respectful young lady
Pregnancy changes everybody involved. Man AND Woman. The changes are more significant and apparent for a woman, but an active/involved father-to-be has his own significant bullshyt he's dealing with from all that.
I'd imagine the secret is communication. There's varying/contradictory pieces of advice about what to prioritize following parenthood but IMO, the reality is that once you become a parent, excelling at that becomes the first priority and rightfully so. But communicating that and showing it -- I.E. Being excited about parenthood, and being more excited about parenthood WITH HER -- is your first priority.
Beyond that, just do the work and be patient. Communicate how you know things are different and that while you're willing to roll with those punches, you don't want to forget about the relationship while doing so, and her being nasty to you or whatever isn't something you're going to go for long-term.
So communicate your concerns, just to get them out there and on her radar, but bring it back around and see what she needs/wants from you in the meantime, then focus on trying to give her that. If she's really about you, she really loves you, and she's a worthwhile woman of quality? Ideally, she'll see that shyt, she'll see your effort on all fronts and eventually move accordingly. If not... you move around from her, and continue to be there for the child as best you can.
Parenthood may define a PERSON, but it should not define a RELATIONSHIP. That existed before parenthood and should ideally strengthen the relationship beyond reproach. However, you don't need to be in a relationship to be a good, effective parent.
Instead, it sounds like parenthood has exposed OP's relationship.
And if that's the case ... parenthood should have never been a road you went down with your lady. Hate to see it
I'd imagine the secret is communication. There's varying/contradictory pieces of advice about what to prioritize following parenthood but IMO, the reality is that once you become a parent, excelling at that becomes the first priority and rightfully so. But communicating that and showing it -- I.E. Being excited about parenthood, and being more excited about parenthood WITH HER -- is your first priority.
Beyond that, just do the work and be patient. Communicate how you know things are different and that while you're willing to roll with those punches, you don't want to forget about the relationship while doing so, and her being nasty to you or whatever isn't something you're going to go for long-term.
So communicate your concerns, just to get them out there and on her radar, but bring it back around and see what she needs/wants from you in the meantime, then focus on trying to give her that. If she's really about you, she really loves you, and she's a worthwhile woman of quality? Ideally, she'll see that shyt, she'll see your effort on all fronts and eventually move accordingly. If not... you move around from her, and continue to be there for the child as best you can.
Parenthood may define a PERSON, but it should not define a RELATIONSHIP. That existed before parenthood and should ideally strengthen the relationship beyond reproach. However, you don't need to be in a relationship to be a good, effective parent.
Instead, it sounds like parenthood has exposed OP's relationship.
And if that's the case ... parenthood should have never been a road you went down with your lady. Hate to see it
I was with you til the last part of your sentence.
Depending on who you are dealing with, "Putting her in her place" can be a sure fire way to get unwanted 3rd parties involved with your relationship.
I'll just say this to the young brehs who may be reading. Whatever you do, never make demands or ultimatums in a relationship or anything really without any leverage. Remember this point.
Let me kick some game to you bro...
Just because you get engaged doesn't mean you have to get married.
You can propose, and then see how she reacts/acts and start marriage counseling at that point. I know people who have been engaged for years... You have to take a step back and put yourself in her shoes, think about what yal situation looks like to her friends and loved ones and how that could impact her mood and feelings about yal relationship.
Your situation is very common, but at least yal have some history and have been together for almost 3 years. Somebody close to me just broke it off with his BM not even 9 months after their kid was born... but they had only been dating for like 4-5 months before she got pregnant, so from that perspective, you have more time together to know who you are dealing with and what could be impacting yal relationship.
Ineedmoney504
SOHH ICEY...WE EATIN
Made of what?
Made man in the streets of New Orleans 
you need a pass if you come this way btw sis.
I will say this...
This thread should be an example to women why men have such a long and strenuous vetting process when they are picking their partner or wife. There's a lot of levels to it. Is there more than just a physical connection there? Do you hold each other down, do you provide support? Do we even like each other? Like... outside of just the looks, do we even like who we are as people? If we aren't having sex do we even want to be around each other? Cause as life goes on and you're not just getting those booty calls and smashing whenever, that's when you see if you even want to be with somebody.
And no matter WHO the man is, nobody wants a woman who turns into a nice nasty prude... if you're still attracted to that man, act like it. Be that wholesome woman in public and his fukking slut bucket in private.
When it comes to sex, that's what we want ladies.
This thread should be an example to women why men have such a long and strenuous vetting process when they are picking their partner or wife. There's a lot of levels to it. Is there more than just a physical connection there? Do you hold each other down, do you provide support? Do we even like each other? Like... outside of just the looks, do we even like who we are as people? If we aren't having sex do we even want to be around each other? Cause as life goes on and you're not just getting those booty calls and smashing whenever, that's when you see if you even want to be with somebody.
And no matter WHO the man is, nobody wants a woman who turns into a nice nasty prude... if you're still attracted to that man, act like it. Be that wholesome woman in public and his fukking slut bucket in private.
When it comes to sex, that's what we want ladies.
Get trapped brehs
Btw if that was really her thought process, then there is nothing you can do to make this work
the bossman
Superstar
Fam. This explains a lot. Her family is Hounding her on the low for having a baby out of wedlock. I promise you. Disclaimer, I don't have kids but I've been married for more than 10 years. But the simple answer, which isn't easy in execution because it is a lifelong journey, is to get on your purpose as a man.
Build your highest self and your most abundant life for YOU, and provide for your family by also letting this abundance trickle down in service and protection for you, your woman and your kid. Make your mission your highest priority (and I'm sure creating the best family you can build is also part of that mission) and keep that as your north star and way of life every day that you wake up and improve yourself.
She'll fall in line with whatever tone and direction you set as long as you are setting one, and that it is rooted in you being a man who is on his purpose and who openly blesses the crib with his masculine gifts. She's wired to be attracted to that, ESPECIALLY during a time as biologically dire as carrying your child.
You, as a man most likely already know which areas of your life you aren't living your peak purpose. She responds to the way you are honestly attacking that and showing up in the world as a man on his mission A LOT more than anything you tell her, because her eggs and biology respond to her knowing she picked the best and most credible suitor. What you want is for her to be inspired to want to fukk you and be attracted to you -- not just obligated.
She responds to who you are as a man in her judgment and estimation more than any agreement or understanding y'all will ever have, breh. Trust me on that. But remember, this is your path as a man, so grow and improve to create the vision of your best life possible --not just to check the boxes of things that she likes.
In fact, when you're on your purpose there will be plenty of times where listening to what she says or doing exactly what she wants you to is the wrong answer.
Pregnant or not, women are like the weather. They're not crazy, but they're going to have more emotional fluctuations than you do. I can legit look my wife in the eyes and see her overthinking mind calculating and drawing conclusions about some shyt that I said 5x faster than the rate I said it.
It's a place of comfort for her to exist like the weather, so she's comfortable working out her issues like that. If you worked your issues out in that way it would rightfully be stressful as fukk. The more solid you stand in the face of her storms, the more she'll know you're the rock and she can trust your judgment, direction and the support and comfort that you provide to the household.
The underlying message is that if you can handle her storms and uncertainty while being rooted in yourself and your purpose as a man, then you can also handle whatever the world throws your way.
I'm not saying put up with disrespect, but you gotta be able to stand solid and know what you know, no matter how the fukk she's acting, because you're a man on his purpose and you know where you're going. Stay present with her while she's tripping and let her know through physical touch and solid energy, not just words, that she has nothing to worry about, she's not fukked up for being emotionally all over the place right now, and that y'alls best days are yet to come -- so stay down.
If you become the prize in LIFE as a man on his purpose, and show up in your relationship as that prize, AND make it so that her life and the household elevates and is taken care of as a result, you'll find that it opens her and she'll be the baddest motherfukking asset to help you in your purpose as a king as you also uplift her to her highest good.
But this is some no days off type shyt...
Making this shyt a lifestyle will keep you locked in so you can fluidly show up how you need to as your own man, as her man, as a professional and as a father.
You're bout to go on a journey
nikka sound like you been reading The Way of the Superior Man
I've already been. Lol
MajesticLion
Veteran
I know, I was alerted lil sis 