Do Average Men Understand WHY Women Put Them On Child Support?

[.༼-◕_◕-༽.]

I wonder how many Coli members are actually paying child support...


I feel like the majority of the people in this thread are just using this a vehicle to shyt on the opposite gender.

I'm not in a child support situation. I don't have a negative opinion of men. I just think that the numbers don't bear out for fatherless children. I don't understand a man whose not a daily presence in his children's lives. Real men-regardless of income- are going to take a stand to be involved.

and a real woman is not going to interfere with a man being a father.

What people refuse to address is the casual attitude that men and women have towards sex. Sex outside a committed relationship without family planning almost always leads to tomfuccery. There's no shortcut. People KEEP trying and they keep failing.

People keep having children outside of stable relationships. And that's the problem.

 

[rapbeats]

FOR CONSISTENCY.



Before we start this, I'm not talking about rich men like Diddy or Jayz.



I'm talking about regular men, who work regular 9-5 jobs (or don't work) who have children by women who are regular, and work 9-5 jobs too.

(You can't really "come up" off a man like this)

For most women with children by AVERAGE men, child support and court orders is their last resort with a man they cannot communicate with, or gain consistency from....

ok, let me say this one time and one time only.

THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HOW THE WORLD SHOULD BE. this is how the world IS.

iF you are a woman. you can get pregnant and have a child.
if you are a man you can have sex with a woman and get her pregnant.

we know based on biology and a ton of studies the woman has the tightest connection with the child out of herself and the father in 99.9% of the situations. thats just a fact of life.

we know that on average women are the natural caregiver of the child. thats just natural. meaning a woman for the most part cant just leave her kid in the wind. its a scientific biological bond going on there, that isnt going on with the guy.


So when that dude you were just dipping with, or just met in the club, or even your real boo(ex), or your ex husband. odds are when yalls little relationship is over(if yall had a real one). Its going to be 10 times easier for him to cut his losses and ditch the kid. these are fall facts you must understand before you pull up your skirt once you see ole boy looking real good at the club. You heard i here first. you heard it from a man. Keeping it real with you. Take the advise and run with it.

DO NOT EXPECT SOME DUDE TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT. LEAVE HIM ALONE.

if you say its not about feelings, its not about you trying to get back at him for running thru your entire camp of friends(cousins), or just running thru chicks and you got sick of catching him with a new one so you finally got rid of him. if it aint about a womans scorn. Then what is it really about? Stop it with that consistency talk. Ole boy was never consistent with you, what the hell make you think he's going to be consistent with the kid that he does not have that biological connection to?

The dude you chose to let drop one in you, is a very INCONSISTENT DUDE. do not expect him to change. odds are, he wont. especially if yall under 35. stop it. aint going to happen.

So again. LEAVE HIM ALONE. RAISE YOUR CHILD ON YOUR OWN.

YES ITS YOUR CHILD. yes and that means ole boy gets zero visits. period. yes that means he cant be in the kids life. sorry bruh bruh, thats the fate you chose when you chose to be a grown child and have a baby and not kick in for the young one.

but ladies you must get this thru your heads. its your kid at that point. do not go to the white man judge/lawyers, etc. to get child support.

you have to remember he has his own household to take care of Too. just because he had a baby by you doesnt mean he doesnt have to have a place to lay his head too.

thats two households he has to hold up or 1.5 to be exact. how many black men in america make enough to fully hold themselves down without help, let alone 1.5? Do you see where i'm going here? he cant afford to take care of himself. how the hell is he going to afford to take care of himself and a child with child support? HE WONT. so what will happen is, he will get behind on payments again. you will go running to the white man. and the white man is the only one making all the money in the process. thanks to yall idiots.

He will get arrested, go to jail and that half piece of a job he had is now gone. so not only will you not see that $300 he was supposed to give you. you wont see the $100 he was giving you instead. not only that. you just put your childs father in jail. Your child will remember that. and odds are they wont remember that in the right way.

lastly. when you put a black man in jail for any reason. the odds of him recovering and becoming a normal citizen able to take care of himself is very slim. you have pretty much killed his little ability to be a productive citizen in society. all over the fact you couldnt come to terms with the reality, you let an inconsistent dude skeet in you raw and had his child. that was your choice.

can i really blame an inconsistent man child? NO. but i can blame the mother who keeps telling me she's so mature. mature people don expect immature people to be mature. Think about that.

 

[intruder]

Having 4 friends (2 couples) going through the process as we speak i can say it's this:

• Irresponsible men who who are inconsistent at providing the necessary support for the care of said kids (Child care is dumb expensive)
• Not keeping their scheduled parenting appointments as agreed.
  
• Angry/bitter woman who's out for revenge after the relationship didnt work thus using the system as a weapon

My 4 friends that are going through the process as we speak, i know and am close with both the women and the men. Well one of the dudes im just cool with. Listening to both sides a lot of times it's the men that seem to approach parenting and providing as an optional/part-time/"Do it when i CAN" thing and it's unfair to the women because parenting is a full-time round-the clock LIFESTYLE.
They my boys and all but I gotta call a spade a spade.

But dont get it twisted some women can be on the angry tip because of the above mentioned lack of consistency and communication by the father or whatever other issues they have so they get to a point they're like "fukk it i'm not going out like that" and go through the court process and everything is amplified with the anger.

She's my girl but i gotta call a spade a spade + he's not being fair to her

The second couple... i feel the chick is too nice to doggy. She goes through the struggle alone and just goes about her business with the kidS (yes 2 kids, 5 and 4). Childcare is costing her a fortune as she's often required to be out of town for work. Thank goodness she has friends who help with keeping the kids for some times but said people got their own lives too so she has to compensate them somehow even if they are friends.

Meanwhile the dude doesnt give her a damn penny.
We cool but i gotta say he aint sh!t for real

 

[LadySimone]

Great decision having a baby with a man who isn't consistent eh

Great decision (or culture) of being inconsistent.

 

[LadySimone]

about as great a decision as not wanting children but engaging in an activity that creates children.

These dudes have such low expectations of black men they rely in black women to make the right choice or take the moral high road. Meanwhile they want to be leaders. Don't they understand leaders have to take the responsibility for shyt?

 

[Londilon]

My question is, how smart is a woman to have a child with a man who they know is undependable?

 

[.༼-◕_◕-༽.]

These dudes have such low expectations of black men they rely in black women to make the right choice or take the moral high road. Meanwhile they want to be leaders. Don't they understand leaders have to take the responsibility for shyt?

Only weak beta effeminate men resent the concept of taking care of their children. I wish they'd just follow through on their hatred of women/children and have sex with each other... And not women.

 

[Londilon]

"All mothers should provide Basic food, basic clothes and a roof over the child's head without the father in the picture."









The African AMERICAN community will forever be doomed with this logic.

Its already doomed by the fact that most black women will carry a child for a nikka who only see's them as p*ssy.

 

[.༼-◕_◕-༽.]

Having 4 friends (2 couples) going through the process as we speak i can say it's this:

• Irresponsible men who who are inconsistent at providing the necessary support for the care of said kids (Child care is dumb expensive)
• Not keeping their scheduled parenting appointments as agreed.
  
• Angry/bitter woman who's out for revenge after the relationship didnt work thus using the system as a weapon

My 4 friends that are going through the process as we speak, i know and am close with both the women and the men. Well one of the dudes im just cool with. Listening to both sides a lot of times it's the men that seem to approach parenting and providing as an optional/part-time/"Do it when i CAN" thing and it's unfair to the women because parenting is a full-time round-the clock LIFESTYLE.
They my boys and all but I gotta call a spade a spade.

But dont get it twisted some women can be on the angry tip because of the above mentioned lack of consistency and communication by the father so they get to a point they're like "fukk it i'm not going out like that" and go through the court process and everything is amplified with the anger.
She's my girl but i gotta call a spade a spade + he's not being fair to her

The second couple... i feel the chick is too nice to doggy. She goes through the struggle alone and just goes about her business with the kidS (yes 2 kids, 5 and 4). Childcare is costing her a fortune as she's often required to be out of town for work. Thank goodness she has friends who help with keeping the kids for some times but said people got their own lives too so she has to compensate them somehow even if they are friends.

Meanwhile the dude doesnt give her a damn penny. He my boy but i gotta say he aint sh!t for real

I can't believe it's so many "males" making excuses for this behavior ...

 

[Raava]

ok, let me say this one time and one time only.

THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HOW THE WORLD SHOULD BE. this is how the world IS.

iF you are a woman. you can get pregnant and have a child.
if you are a man you can have sex with a woman and get her pregnant.

we know based on biology and a ton of studies the woman has the tightest connection with the child out of herself and the father in 99.9% of the situations. thats just a fact of life.

we know that on average women are the natural caregiver of the child. thats just natural. meaning a woman for the most part cant just leave her kid in the wind. its a scientific biological bond going on there, that isnt going on with the guy.


So when that dude you were just dipping with, or just met in the club, or even your real boo(ex), or your ex husband. odds are when yalls little relationship is over(if yall had a real one). Its going to be 10 times easier for him to cut his losses and ditch the kid. these are fall facts you must understand before you pull up your skirt once you see ole boy looking real good at the club. You heard i here first. you heard it from a man. Keeping it real with you. Take the advise and run with it.

DO NOT EXPECT SOME DUDE TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT. LEAVE HIM ALONE.

if you say its not about feelings, its not about you trying to get back at him for running thru your entire camp of friends(cousins), or just running thru chicks and you got sick of catching him with a new one so you finally got rid of him. if it aint about a womans scorn. Then what is it really about? Stop it with that consistency talk. Ole boy was never consistent with you, what the hell make you think he's going to be consistent with the kid that he does not have that biological connection to?

The dude you chose to let drop one in you, is a very INCONSISTENT DUDE. do not expect him to change. odds are, he wont. especially if yall under 35. stop it. aint going to happen.

So again. LEAVE HIM ALONE. RAISE YOUR CHILD ON YOUR OWN.

YES ITS YOUR CHILD. yes and that means ole boy gets zero visits. period. yes that means he cant be in the kids life. sorry bruh bruh, thats the fate you chose when you chose to be a grown child and have a baby and not kick in for the young one.

but ladies you must get this thru your heads. its your kid at that point. do not go to the white man judge/lawyers, etc. to get child support.

you have to remember he has his own household to take care of Too. just because he had a baby by you doesnt mean he doesnt have to have a place to lay his head too.

thats two households he has to hold up or 1.5 to be exact. how many black men in america make enough to fully hold themselves down without help, let alone 1.5? Do you see where i'm going here? he cant afford to take care of himself. how the hell is he going to afford to take care of himself and a child with child support? HE WONT. so what will happen is, he will get behind on payments again. you will go running to the white man. and the white man is the only one making all the money in the process. thanks to yall idiots.

He will get arrested, go to jail and that half piece of a job he had is now gone. so not only will you not see that $300 he was supposed to give you. you wont see the $100 he was giving you instead. not only that. you just put your childs father in jail. Your child will remember that. and odds are they wont remember that in the right way.

lastly. when you put a black man in jail for any reason. the odds of him recovering and becoming a normal citizen able to take care of himself is very slim. you have pretty much killed his little ability to be a productive citizen in society. all over the fact you couldnt come to terms with the reality, you let an inconsistent dude skeet in you raw and had his child. that was your choice.

can i really blame an inconsistent man child? NO. but i can blame the mother who keeps telling me she's so mature. mature people don expect immature people to be mature. Think about that.

 

[intruder]

My question is, how smart is a woman to have a child with a man who they know is undependable?

True but people dont always show you their true colors until they are under pressure.

 

[Dameon Farrow]

All the women that i know are guilty of this always ask themselves what were they thinking

One of the single mother chicks broke it down to me that basically she thought she was the shyt after a certain age and ran wild on the streets...Her mother and Father were both in her life, but she said basically after a certain age, you couldn't tell her nothing...

Most of these women come from big families where they are seeing negative influences from a younger age without proper attention being paid to them or from a smaller family where the main parent is basically running the streets themselves

They then get caught up in the streets and pay a hefty price..

By the time they hit 30, it all comes together for them....But the market is very much thinned....

A nikka with no kids just trying to be friends and hit whenever possible

The only thing that's really left are nikkas in the same predicament as them

But at that point, she belongs to the game

And some of them are actually not hoes...they just made a couple of crucial mistakes...And it changed the trajectory of their mindset to the point where they will prolly never have a monogamous relationship again

Cold hard reality. I'm that childless friend smashing so I know it's real. We stay in the cut for the most part so we're rarely discussed. I love it.

 

[Dameon Farrow]

I don't even know why these nikkas would be naive enough to believe this is for the good of the child at all.

The thing here is that the mother is selfish for bringing in a child into this world knowing the nikka ain't shyt, knowing her relationship with the nikka ain't strong and knowing damn well half the time the nikka ain't ready or DON'T WANT no baby.

I don't give a fukk - Ain't no reason an "Empowered" Strong "Independent" Black "Quean" should have to be putting a Black man on child support in 2016.

CHOOSE BETTER MEN, ONLY HAVE SEX WITH MEN WHO HAVE COMMITTED TO YOU AND ARE COMPATIBLE WITH YOU, AND WHOM YOU RESPECT - AND YOU WON'T HAVE TO DO THIS.

IF SINGLE BABY MOMMAS WERE ONLY 10% OF THE BLACK POPULATION I WOULDN'T BE SAYING THIS - BUT IT'S 75 fukkING PERCENT. WOMAN THE fukk UP.

But if you say women have final say over who they fukk you are wrong. Disclaimer...if you know or are dating a responsible woman, naturally I'm not referring to them.

 

[Unemployed GM]

FOR CONSISTENCY.



Before we start this, I'm not talking about rich men like Diddy or Jayz.



I'm talking about regular men, who work regular 9-5 jobs (or don't work) who have children by women who are regular, and work 9-5 jobs too.

(You can't really "come up" off a man like this)

For most women with children by AVERAGE men, child support and court orders is their last resort with a man they cannot communicate with, or gain consistency from.



Example...


*The man Commits to a financial obligation (like buying the child a pair of shoes for school, or bringing diapers)

Then...
- Don't show up.
-curse the mother out anytime she ask for something.
-Shows up with HALF of what he promised.
-simply won't answer his phone when the mother calls out of fear she will ask for help.


HE'S NOT DEPENDABLE.



*He Commits to Keeping the child for a certain period of time.


Then...
-He Won't show up
-He keeps the child longer.
-bring the child back sooner.
-Or try to take the child on a weekend, or at a time when the mother has already made other plans with the child.




All of these things create stress/confusion for the mother who HAS to have a physical and financial routine in order to be the child's primary care giver.





Too many AVERAGE men seem to think baby mothers file child support for a check, or money to get their hair done. This is ridiculous.


Most women file for child support from AVERAGE men, not for a come up, but because the father is inconsistent, not dependable, and she is just flat out exhausted with arguing with him, and begging him for help.



It's a relief to let the judge set the child support and visitation. So she won't have to argue with him anymore. Even if the judge sets less than what she thought was fair. (I have seen this)


Men get very resentful after this. Why?

This day and age, child support is an adjunct of the welfare system.

 

[Scott Larock]

When you consider the stats for OOW children. Black men should be incredibly grateful.

That;s really common sense though, we know black folks will get the least from the government. We should be more united though instead of bashing but that's the issue with matriarchy in a nutshell, we gotta get each others attention.