Do Average Men Understand WHY Women Put Them On Child Support?

[.༼-◕_◕-༽.]

FOR CONSISTENCY.



Before we start this, I'm not talking about rich men like Diddy or Jayz.



I'm talking about regular men, who work regular 9-5 jobs (or don't work) who have children by women who are regular, and work 9-5 jobs too.

(You can't really "come up" off a man like this)

For most women with children by AVERAGE men, child support and court orders is their last resort with a man they cannot communicate with, or gain consistency from.



Example...


*The man Commits to a financial obligation (like buying the child a pair of shoes for school, or bringing diapers)

Then...
- Don't show up.
-curse the mother out anytime she ask for something.
-Shows up with HALF of what he promised.
-simply won't answer his phone when the mother calls out of fear she will ask for help.


HE'S NOT DEPENDABLE.



*He Commits to Keeping the child for a certain period of time.


Then...
-He Won't show up
-He keeps the child longer.
-bring the child back sooner.
-Or try to take the child on a weekend, or at a time when the mother has already made other plans with the child.




All of these things create stress/confusion for the mother who HAS to have a physical and financial routine in order to be the child's primary care giver.





Too many AVERAGE men seem to think baby mothers file child support for a check, or money to get their hair done. This is ridiculous.


Most women file for child support from AVERAGE men, not for a come up, but because the father is inconsistent, not dependable, and she is just flat out exhausted with arguing with him, and begging him for help.


It's a relief to let the judge set the child support and visitation. So she won't have to argue with him anymore. Even if the judge sets less than what she thought was fair. (I have seen this)


Men get very resentful after this. Why?

In most major metropolitan areas child care ALONE is over $1000/month. A decent 2 BR apt is over $1000/month.

Any person who's out here procreating willy nilly is not thinking clearly.

Anyone who resents caring for their offspring is a sociopath.

@SJUGrad13 There are plenty of people who've gone ghost on their offspring. All over.

 

[Anerdyblackguy]

In most major metropolitan areas child care ALONE is over $1000/month. A decent 2 BR apt is over $1000/month.

Any person who's out here procreating willy nilly is not thinking clearly.

Anyone who resents caring for their offspring is a sociopath.

@SJUGrad13 There are plenty of people who've gone ghost on their offspring. All over.

I said that some do in my earlier statement. I just don't believe it is a majority of men though.

 

[Reginald Noble]

@UltraKombo
You neg me did I hit a nerve .

Nope. Just stop the bullshyt you are on a male dominated site spewing this garbage logic nobody is interested in your anti-male rhetoric

 

[Reginald Noble]

Isn't that going to limit men's options in women drastically? Wouldn't that create more competition between men? Or are you talking about men who also have a father in their life only seeking women with a father in their life?

Yeah it limited me in the sense that I said welp I guess that means no Black American women.

I was talking to my pops the other day about this. I can't relate to a Woman that did not have her Father growing up. I refuse to deal with that mess.

 

[Elle Driver]

Child support is just an arbitrary way or calculation of the non-custodial parent paying for the "well-being" of their children. But when the custodial parent goes to court for whatever reason, then it's for the care of the child. However, if you know you expecting, get custody asap. That saves a lot of trouble, you are not kept in the dark about anything concerning your child and they can't shut you out.

 

[Drake is God]

That sounds well and good assuming that you're dealing with 2 reasonable people that can communicate.

Let's talk about what's "fair"
If the custodial parent thinks 2000 a month is fair
And the non custodial parent thinks 500 a month is fair.

That's where unfortunately a 3rd party has to become involved.
Both parents need to contribute based upon their individual financial ability.

There's women who would be happy to see the man broke and homeless and still run around talking about "he don't really do shyt for his kid"

But there's damn sure men that honestly think they can drop by pampers once or twice a month, a pair of shoes here and there and some dikk when they want to fukk and will run around screaming how they "do for their kid"

Who's fair is fair?

In the other thread we see several posters saying 200 a month tops. 300 a month tops. No matter what the father's income the mother's income the child's specific needs etc.
Numerous people pointed out "hey, I have a baby and just pampers milk wipes baby stuff costs more than that"
A poster would hop in with (and I've seen it in this thread too)
"Well the bytch shouldn't have the baby at all if she can't afford everything for the child"

For every story yall can tell about miserable bytches that just make the baby daddy miserable I can match it with a story of a worthless fukk who doesn't do shyt for their kids.

If I did though, since this is the coli
I would be met with a million excuses including

The bytch shouldn't have let him fukk
The bytch should have let him fukk but demanded he use a condom
The bytch should have had an abortion because he just wants to fukk freely not make babies
The bytch should stop fukking no good nikkas and only fukk good guys like the ones posting (who ironically cosign the above, but are "good guys")
The bytch shouldn't have any babies unless she can support them 400% by herself
The bytch has more birth control options than me so fukk her.
The bytch can legally get an abortion so I want a right to a legal abortion.
The bytch knew I wasn't shyt when I was fukking her.
On and on and on.

So unfortunately a 3rd party has to determine what's "fair"

Here's how you avoid paying child support

1. You never tell women your real name I always tell them my name is John Smith.

2. You use burners(pre-paid phones disposables) because they can't be tracked when she gets the government involved.

3. Always go to her house or hotels.

If she knows your real name and home address there is another way.

Tell her you love her and want to get married, but first she has to get an abortion this works because women want to get married badly and will do whatever it takes.

 

[Everythingg]

If you're dealing with the 3rd party you're already not a successful black intact family.

A court order didn't break up your relationship. Your relationship broke up so you got the court order.

Does it really need explaining how the same courts that will racially profile your child or sentence him to prison for a crime he did not commit will not have the child's BEST interest in mind when it comes to child support? Of course there are exceptions, but in general, does this need explaining?

A lot of times we don't even need stats.

I think hundreds of dudes on FB in like 25 major cities around the U.S. saying they can't seem to find a Black woman aged 18-25 without a kid is telling enough.

Instead of debating obvious problems we need to be focused on fixing the problem instead of debating whether it exists and whose fault is it.

Where there's smoke there's fire brehs

Well for one, I aint with the gender war BS. If the women are single, then there are males out there not parenting. The BS goes both ways not one way or another. Either way my point was who can prove that 73% of blacks are born out of wedlock? Not us. So why would we pull that statistic which most likely came from a cac institution? You can discuss problems without pulling from unprovable statistics. Which is probably why she didnt answer lol

 

[K.O.N.Y]

Yeah it limited me in the sense that I said welp I guess that means no Black American women.

I was talking to my pops the other day about this. I can't relate to a Woman that did not have her Father growing up. I refuse to deal with that mess.

 

[DarkHorse23]

What's your obsession with REGULAR/ AVERAGE men OP?

 

[IttyBittyKitty]

Yeah it limited me in the sense that I said welp I guess that means no Black American women.

I was talking to my pops the other day about this. I can't relate to a Woman that did not have her Father growing up. I refuse to deal with that mess.

Ok, but what about the men who ALSO didn't grow up without a father in their lives? Do you think it is justifiable for them to say that as well? Reading stuff like this is bothersome to me. How is it the individual's fault that their parents didn't end up or stay together? Why is it assumed that she must be messed up and intolerable if her father wasn't in the house? What if she grew up with a father but he wasn't shyt? Are you really automatically dismissing women upon hearing they didn't grow up with a father? I hope most men don't think like this, ESPECIALLY if they come from the same circumstance...and ALOT do.

 

[.༼-◕_◕-༽.]

I said that some do in my earlier statement. I just don't believe it is a majority of men though.

I don't know if it's the majority, but with 70% of Black children in single parent homes, it seems likely. There is no social pressure for men to be active fathers.

 

[wickedsm]

Does it really need explaining how the same courts that will racially profile your child or sentence him to prison for a crime he did not commit will not have the child's BEST interest in mind when it comes to child support? Of course there are exceptions, but in general, does this need explaining?

I agree and disagree. Unlike the criminal justice system the child support guidelines are very black and white. If you want to talk about custody and visitation, yes that can and is affected due to the wealth of the parties involved and access to legal assistance just like criminal court.

As I've stated before the family court system is far from perfect and there are many changes that could be made. Unfortunately unless people can come to an agreement on their own and both parties uphold their part of the agreement, a court will most likely be involved.

The best ways any of us have to avoid family court and their involvement are already at our disposal and they are completely free.

Be selective in whom you have sex with.
Practice the safest sex possible.
Create planned children within the bounds of a loving and healthy relationship.

 

[wickedsm]

If yall are "doing what (yall)are supposed to do as Black parents" why do you need the courts?

No need to answer my question with a question.
Like I said my children are grown productive members of society.


Because I feel like it
I am divorced. In the real world divorces happen in court. Custody visitation and cs is addressed at that time.

 

[ezrathegreat]

Child support laws have been rigged in favor of women fir decades but you still see men (rich, middle class and poor) falling for the same okey-doke. My feelings on the subject are .

 

[Michael's Black Son]

FOR CONSISTENCY.



Before we start this, I'm not talking about rich men like Diddy or Jayz.



I'm talking about regular men, who work regular 9-5 jobs (or don't work) who have children by women who are regular, and work 9-5 jobs too.

(You can't really "come up" off a man like this)

For most women with children by AVERAGE men, child support and court orders is their last resort with a man they cannot communicate with, or gain consistency from.



Example...


*The man Commits to a financial obligation (like buying the child a pair of shoes for school, or bringing diapers)

Then...
- Don't show up.
-curse the mother out anytime she ask for something.
-Shows up with HALF of what he promised.
-simply won't answer his phone when the mother calls out of fear she will ask for help.


HE'S NOT DEPENDABLE.



*He Commits to Keeping the child for a certain period of time.


Then...
-He Won't show up
-He keeps the child longer.
-bring the child back sooner.
-Or try to take the child on a weekend, or at a time when the mother has already made other plans with the child.




All of these things create stress/confusion for the mother who HAS to have a physical and financial routine in order to be the child's primary care giver.





Too many AVERAGE men seem to think baby mothers file child support for a check, or money to get their hair done. This is ridiculous.


Most women file for child support from AVERAGE men, not for a come up, but because the father is inconsistent, not dependable, and she is just flat out exhausted with arguing with him, and begging him for help.


It's a relief to let the judge set the child support and visitation. So she won't have to argue with him anymore. Even if the judge sets less than what she thought was fair. (I have seen this)


Men get very resentful after this. Why?