Ever been caught Jacking off ?

[Kings County]

GOAT smiley

who is this ?

 

[Silkk]

Aww man

 

[HalfwayHandsome]

EPIC THREAD

 

[PimpHandStrong]

Ever jackoff, then go somewhere, and realize u left ya nut rag/sock in plain view back at the crib?

Remember one time during the summer a bruh just lounging around the house carefree and shyt playing the PS2. Well earlier I had beat off and threw the T-shirt I had used by the front door thinking I'll get it later.

So moms comes up earlier than expected and picks up the shirt and smells it. I'm like fukkkk

Shes like this shirt reaks of bleach

I'm like yea.... I was cleaning the floor and spilled bleach and used that to clean up.

I think she bought it cuz she dropped it

 

[Da King]

i think i did but i'm not really sure. i heard moms walking down the hallway so i calmly put my dikk between the waistband of my shorts and covered with my shirt, then paused the video and changed the tab on the window. she walk in the room and tell me some shyt (i forgot) and she looks down in mid sentence (i was facing her) and ask me what i'm looking at on the cpu. i told her i was on espn.com and she gave me the face and said "okay" then walked out. i'm like so i looked down and my balls was hangin out at the end of my of my shorts like cuz i had them up so high from tryna hide my dikk in my waistband. i never bothered to ask so i assumed she didn't catch me.

I'm in fukking tears, people looking at me like

 

[Steve Piffler]

lol looking through this thread I remember when the whole fam used to leave. There were a couple of occasions where i ran and check the whole house then when the coast was clear ran around singing its time to look at porn. lol it was so lame

i guess you weren't the only one....

 

[TheBlue Meanie]

Man back in 99-2000 when you went to a porn site and 10 pop ups would jump off and them shyts wouldn't close. nikka had just got dial up and would only use it after 9pm. Im on every porn site too young to worry about viruses and spyware and all that (im like 12-13). I do my thing and turn off the computer. The next day moms call me to the living room asking me why im looking up big booty girls on yahoo I try to play it off like She shows me all the shyt i searched. Im talking "big booty bytches, big ass booty, black booties" nikka looking at the screen like . I knew nothing about clear history and delete cookies


Then she shows me the desktop. Some damn site had downloaded to the computer and had an icon and everything. shyt was like "XXX naked sex". Moms thought one of my friends gave me a cd Or something. Moms looking at me like " nikka you done on the computer, nasty ass nikka.

That shyt made a nigha get tech savy.

at this thread. some of Yall needed to know how to hit the power off button to avoid getting caught. Fuk Improper Shutdown....... I still have my dignity.





Never Got Caught Jacking It, Red Handed

But I almost got caught due to circumstantial evidence.


By the age of 11, I beat off for the first time . that first nut was like

Ever since then, I jacked it every day due to the opportunity presented. The family desktop was in the living room behind the couch.

The primetime to beat off was at 3:30- 4:30 when I got home and before Mom dukes came home from work.Older Sister was away in college and Pops didn't come home from dental school until 6:30.

For that 1 hour for the next three years, I became a porn aficionado. Specializing in bootytalk 1-45. Lucy Pearl, Charlie Angel, and Obsession were some of my favorites.

Well I digress.

What I used to do was start the jackin at approximately 3:40 and let the fireworks go off at around 4:20 before Moms came home. Didn't use a sock cause I wanted to see how far my stuff would shoot out. It sure did go far after 40 minutes of jacking

What I did after I was done with the deed, was to wipe my hand on this spot on the black carpet underneath the couch. Well I did this on the same spot on the carpet every day except weekends.

My DNA was all over that spot of the carpet, Nuts from the past 650 successful nuts were on that carpet. That spot was all crusty and moldy. Thinking back on it, I was a disgusting mofo

Well on a weekend, my mother asked me and my father to help her rearrange the couches.

Well when we got to the couch which covered evidence of my sinful deeds.

We moved the couch

My mother saw that shyt on the carpet and said what the fukk is that

I said oh, after school one day, I was eating some cream of wheat near the computer and it spilled it.

I thought I cleaned it all.



My pops was looking like

She said well clean that shyt and I did, dodged a bullet, Those nikkas couldn't connect the dots.

From that day on, I used a sock to withhold the contents of my escapades. That was a little too close.

I caught a homeboy of mine. Not in the act but I was in his room and I was clowning him about a teddy bear on his bed. I picked it up and his facial expression changed to (red flag) so im tossing this bear around and start talking bout bball and all of a sudden I notice a hole in between this bears legs
Me (silence)
Him:
Me: are u fukking this bear??
Him: (silence)
Me:

 

[Renkz]

man if u think about it, shooting ur load into one of them safeway grocery store type bags >>>>>. esp if you line it with a napkin to absorb the liquid.

they are easily shaped into whatever shape you want.. this is the way i shaped it. big opening, and right as im ready to shoot i aim in there n coat the insides with my egg whites

then you fold that shyt up

throw it into the big garbage can you put out once a week for the garbage man (not the kitchen one or the bathroom one because someone might find it). OR you can put it into an empty milk carton and seal away the evidence forever. or until the people at the recycling plant disassemble the cartons n shyt.

This should be a lifehack, "How to easily dispose your semen"

 

[HalfwayHandsome]

CLASSIC THREAD

 

[Denzel_Saucegton]

Delete

 

[Denzel_Saucegton]

Another story I'm at the same computer with the shorts around the ankles getting it in to some squirting scene. Always had the volume at a moderate level because I'm home alone. Front door about 12 feet away but I got my eyes and ears open. Normally it takes a minute for someone to come through the door but I swear my dad was the "matrix key maker" that day. I had no choice but to unplug the computer and run to the kitchen acting like I was about to make some popcorn. Him: what happened to the computer?
Me: I had to restart it for an update

 

[Denzel_Saucegton]

Last but not least, before school I was in the shower going to town just letting the skeet go down the drain when this day it was so good I forgot I wasn't facing the downstream and got out like it wasn't a big deal. I grab my towel and go start to get dressed not thinking that my cousin was up next.
I hear my name being yelled by my brother and cousin and go back in to them asking me what was this gel or stuff in the bathroom. I played it off like it was some shampoo and conditioner

 

[Renkz]

These stories

 

[Tunez]

Still Top 5 thread

 

[winb83]

I caught a homeboy of mine. Not in the act but I was in his room and I was clowning him about a teddy bear on his bed. I picked it up and his facial expression changed to (red flag) so im tossing this bear around and start talking bout bball and all of a sudden I notice a hole in between this bears legs
Me (silence)
Him:
Me: are u fukking this bear??
Him: (silence)
Me:

This has to be made up. It's still funny but can't be real.