Ever been caught Jacking off ?

Phlipside

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never, but when i was younger
my moms thought my boxers smelled funny
when she washed them, i think in the back
of her mind she knew why
 

Juanito

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I caught a homeboy of mine. Not in the act but I was in his room and I was clowning him about a teddy bear on his bed. I picked it up and his facial expression changed to :merchant: (red flag) so im tossing this bear around and start talking bout bball and all of a sudden I notice a hole in between this bears legs
Me:wtf: (silence)
Him: :dwillhuh:
Me: :what: are u fukking this bear??
Him: :snoop: (silence) :to:
Me: :ooh: :scusthov: :stopitslime:

:deadrose:
 

aXiom

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Not my story, but one of my boys... This nikka decided to rub one out in the bathroom before he showers, but for some reason forgot to lock the door :snoop:, so his moms opens the bathroom door just as he's :ahh:

His mom: :wtf: you doin?

Him: rubs hands together on some birdman shyt, and begins to apply nut to forearm like it's lotion :scusthov:

His mom: :usure: *leaves*
 

ryda518

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I caught a homeboy of mine. Not in the act but I was in his room and I was clowning him about a teddy bear on his bed. I picked it up and his facial expression changed to :merchant: (red flag) so im tossing this bear around and start talking bout bball and all of a sudden I notice a hole in between this bears legs
Me:wtf: (silence)
Him: :dwillhuh:
Me: :what: are u fukking this bear??
Him: :snoop: (silence) :to:
Me: :ooh: :scusthov: :stopitslime:

this has to be the best comment I've ever read on the coli:bryan:
 

Ashyneezz

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Not my story, but one of my boys... This nikka decided to rub one out in the bathroom before he showers, but for some reason forgot to lock the door :snoop:, so his moms opens the bathroom door just as he's :ahh:

His mom: :wtf: you doin?

Him: rubs hands together on some birdman shyt, and begins to apply nut to forearm like it's lotion :scusthov:

His mom: :usure: *leaves*

:dwillhuh: @ the bolded
 

Midwest

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twan83

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never, but when i was younger
my moms thought my boxers smelled funny
when she washed them, i think in the back
of her mind she knew why

This was when i was in high school still innocent and green :mad:

Me: let's get started:cook:
Me: Here it comes :noah:
Mom: Straight opens door :why:
Me::wtb:
Her: You need to get laid
Me: :dry: But I want to wait till i meet the right person
Her: Get your ass up and dont come back till you get some here some condoms boy
Me::mad:
Her: Too late for that your sister already lost hers and i can't have my son being a GOODY GOOD
 

Ice Cold

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This was when i was in high school still innocent and green :mad:

Me: let's get started:cook:
Me: Here it comes :noah:
Mom: Straight opens door :why:
Me::wtb:
Her: You need to get laid
Me: :dry: But I want to wait till i meet the right person
Her: Get your ass up and dont come back till you get some here some condoms boy
Me::mad:
Her: Too late for that your sister already lost hers and i can't have my son being a GOODY GOOD

:whoo: lol at your mom she was a trill OG
 

duncanthetall

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For real though, at a young age, I learned that quick tuck ya dikk in and put ya hands in the air shyt.

So a mothafukkas first thought wouldnt be "nikka you jerkin it?":scusthov::skip:

And even if they do be like that, your hands are showin, ya dikk probably decreased tenfold by then, and all the bases are covered. unless you got the porno showin n what not still, you unstealthy mothafukka.

in that case, you should just keep ya dikk out, and stare em in the eye like :umad:
 

Reid2Achieve

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I few times indirectly....:snoop:

-When I was like 11 whenever my mom wasn't around I used to get on te living room desktop and search hella porn sites on AOL dial up without knowing shyt about cookies and history, and she called me out on it one day and wouldn't let me use the computer anymore. I wasn't even masturbating yet at the time, I was just a curious fukker.


-When I was about 16, one day all the fam was chilling in their own rooms, doing their own thing, and I decided to jack it, but I was too lazy to get up and completely close my door (it was 3/4 closed), then as I'm damn near busting, my sister just walks in saying something! :damn: Now, to this day, I still don't know if she ever saw me actually jackin it cuz of how the room was set up, and she was probably too young to connect the dots....but I definitely chewed her out for coming in without knocking


-And the worst...a couple years ago when i used to stay in the dorms, I used to use a fleshlight :snoop: (even though I had a girl that put out often...), and after going to town, I cleaned it and had it sitting on the sink airing out lmao...well I forget about it and my homeboy comes thru and we're chillin and talking it up for like hours! afterwords, he's on the way out and stops at the sink and says "aaaand that is a pocket p*ssy :comeon:" MY HEART STOPS :merchant::wow:....I couldn't even front so I was just like :lolbron: "shyt's on par with p*ssy, nikka!" :russ: or some shyt

The shame made me promptly throw it out within days :snoop:
 
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