Fiance Violated (raped) at Party... What would you do?

[Luken]

sounds like a @Gold type of scenario

 

[Gold]

sounds like a @Gold type of scenario

 

[Gold]

1. Male fiance is out of town. Female Fiance wants to have a party with friends from work.

2. Male fiance requests that no males be in house while away (even coworkers).

3. Female fiance has males over along with females with drinks and have party anyways.

4. Female fiance says that she was roofied and was raped by male party attendant, when she woke up with blood in toilet and pain in genital area.

5. Male fiance comes back immediately hearing this and female fiance doesn't let male fiance know where violator is... she called the police and made a police report and did a rape kit. Male party member claims innocence. Says consensual. Female fiance knows that male will catch a case because they have weapons.


The Fiance asked should he leave... or stay to help and forgive female fiance.....

He says that he wants to kill the person that did this... but he has doubts that his fiance was loyal. Is the fact that she lied about men being over enough to leave her hanging... or should he be there to help her through her ordeal getting raped...if she was indeed. She was really mentally distressed.


What would you do?

Cancel the wedding

 

[AllHolosEve]

She didn't get drunk tho. She got roofied. It's possible to drink responsibly.

I get it. I just disagree that what she did is worth the responses Im seeing here. She made one mistake. It's her house too. Why shouldnt she be able to have people over when her fiance isnt around to have a problem. I think the reason he was uncomfortable was a him problem - insecurity.

Im definitely coming from a different perspective because knowing myself. I can party or socialize without getting drunk. It couldve been a dinner party. It couldve been just wine and a movie.

Women go out and have fun and men approach them everyday. We're skillful in saying no and turning down advances which is why certain men resort to drugging people. I would think there's something more to why he was distrustful in the first place.

Brethette she got supposed roofied drinking with dudes shouldn't have been in the crib to begin with.

I didn't distrust my ex. I just didn't like thirsty brehs all up my woman face. Every time I wasn't around some dude was trying to fukk her. She said no but it didn't change the fact it constantly happened & annoyed me greatly.

I'm not insecure, I'm protecting like I was raised to be. We care for our women. We can't have "Legacy" without you. Once you get claimed & accept it you're family to us. My sons BM is considered my daughter to us, nobody touches her.

"She made one mistake" she shouldn't have made in the first place. Loyalty is tattooed on my arm. I feel some kinda way about shyt like this.

 

[Turbulent]

Here we go. I know we're "HOH" on here and forgiveness and working through shyt is foreign, but yeah, its not the worst thing in the world to acknowledge somebody fukked up, be upset about it, hold them accountable, etc and give them a chance to redeem it. The rape shyt aside, In this weird ass fictitious scenario, if I my fiance was going out of town and I wanted to have a party with my friends, but she tells me no girls and my boys show up with girls anyway, I would hope that wouldn't be enough to cancel a marriage. It is what it is.

and you think if the girls ended up drugging you, calling her guy friends to rob the place, your girl comes back and you tell her the whole story but you don't want to go to the cops, she would stay with you??

 

[Ashley Banks]

Why would a married woman invite men over anyway? That's like me inviting women over and being married. I mean for what?

If she was really raped, I assume she wanted the attention of the thirsty drunk guys and it went too far.

if she’s lying then she was looking for someone to hump.

Those are the only two reasons I can think of because why else would you invite any man over that isn’t family over without your man being there especially after he asked you not to, any normal person would see the issue with that. I’d be mad af if my husband invited a bunch of women to a party while I was away.

 

[JOHN.KOOL]

I would be there for her during th ordeal. Incase she was indeed raped but the relationship is over, if I said no males in the house and you have a party with males present anyway then you have to go, you straight disrespected me.

Why is she throwing house parties when her husband is out of town anyway like some kid partying when the parents aren't home.

 

[Luke Cage]

sounds like a @Gold type of scenario

Not funny, his fiance was a willing participant. why you felt the need to mention it in a rape thread?

 

[Phitz]

The whole scenario looks like she doesn't associate with decent people

I've never been to a house party or get together where people get high. That alone is inviting issues.

 

[Devil Plisken…CMS]

Ok...I’ll play ball

The male fiancé should think about his life & future very carefully before making any drastic decisions

 

[Devil Plisken…CMS]

Was it really a party or a side dude that was over

 

[Phitz]

Whether or not someone wants to be in a relationship with someone is very personal and has multiple factors so that's completely up to the individual.

The main thing Im seeing in people's responses is not understanding what it's like to be a victim of assault, especially female.

We know there was blood and pain. Signs of forceful intercourse.
We know her fiance has weapons and would want to retaliate. Telling him where the guy is is unnecessary. OP says "where" not "who". She doesn't need to add more drama with her husband catching a case.

Most assaults happen with people you know, people close to you. Being raped in an alley by a stranger is actually rare in comparison.

She was drugged and raped. She was unable to consent, unable to stop it. She was violated on multiple levels. And if it was a coworker she would still have to deal with this shyt everyday at work. People who are compassionate and those who arent. People will blame her like theyre doing in this thread but she will blame herself most which is why most women just want to forget about it and end up dropping charges for some semblance of peace.

If her fiance who is committed to her,isnt able to be compassionate in that situation. God bless the poor girl. They are both gonna have trust issues.

IF she was raped....

He can support her as a friend without being a partner to her any longer. Doesn't have to be all or nothing. You're woman so you won't get it. Men can't look at a woman the same way after someone else has been with her whether consensual or not.

 

[ExodusNirvana]

Spoiler: *Opens Bible*

Spoiler: *turns to The Book of Future*

 

[Eternally Jaded]

She didn't get drunk tho. She got roofied. It's possible to drink responsibly.

I get it. I just disagree that what she did is worth the responses Im seeing here. She made one mistake. It's her house too. Why shouldnt she be able to have people over when her fiance isnt around to have a problem. I think the reason he was uncomfortable was a him problem - insecurity.

Im definitely coming from a different perspective because knowing myself. I can party or socialize without getting drunk. It couldve been a dinner party. It couldve been just wine and a movie.

Women go out and have fun and men approach them everyday. We're skillful in saying no and turning down advances which is why certain men resort to drugging people. I would think there's something more to why he was distrustful in the first place.

It's not insecurity, I'd say.

It's knowing the energy is different when it's just the girls vs the girls and guys together, drinking(as the op outlined, she wanted to have coworkers over for drinks, so participating is implied) and there's familiarity afoot.
A woman who's got a boyfriend/fiance/husband might joke around, borderline flirt with a guy at work, with no intentions to really do anything(and it goes both ways, let's be reality) cuz its work and that's foul but you introduce liquor and a relaxed setting and no supervision and now you got a potential stew going.

There's literally a saying that work n play don't mix.

Ignore decades of wisdom cuz "You're different than them other guys," brehs.


All the trust in the world means nothing against the right factors in play at the wrong time, and this is consensually speaking.

Her story is the worst case scenario come to life, and it was all avoidable, if she just listened.

 

[GoFlipAPack]

Cold to say.. My buddy believes that she was raped... I didnt' tell him that I think she's lying trying to cover it.


It's sad how things work.

I have a couple questions.
Why would she lie?
What did the toxic screen and rape kit say?
Is she a white woman?